I had no idea selling your own clothes and things can be this difficult and even emotional. Seeing those clothes brought back memories and feelings I have long forgotten. I couldn’t help but keep some of the things we were meaning to sell. I just couldn’t sell the shirt I was wearing during my first date with Ruy. =)

January — “Hon, on Feb. 14…” this was how Ruy started his sentence and I was so excited “Oh my God, he’s planning in advance” was the thought which popped into my head, imagine my chagrin when the next words out of his mouth were “…punta tayo sa Storyland, birthday nang anak ni _____ and it’s on a Sunday….”. Can you imagine how frustrating that is?

February 1-7 — Some time around this period he told me that he and his batch mates at work are going to have dinner on the 13th. I was already thrilled with this. I like going out and I know most of the people we’ll be with so I figured it should be fun.

February 8 — I told my Aunt that we’re going to have a Valentine’s date and we’re going to Annabel’s. We kinda snickered at the location cause it seemed like the kind of place old people go to.

February 8 - 12 — Tried on different kinds of looks using all sorts of lipsticks and I shadows….that was how excited I was.

February 12 — Ruy told me he needed to go to an affair at work cause someone’s leaving the office. I said ok. I needed one more day to practice my look for tomorrow’s dinner.

February 13 — We got to the resto early and Ruy and I stayed in the car to talk. I was crying cause I was feeling bad about something and I was having such a hard time making sure my eyeliner and mascara stayed on. We fixed our issues and went in.

I was surprised when they led us to a small enclosed room, sort of like a function room.

Ruy and I decided to check out their buffet which was quite a walk from our room. We decided to try their buffet and the waiter offered to set up a table near the buffet for us. When I brought the idea up to Ruy and his colleague they were both not up for it and so I just shut up and figured that at least I’ll lose some calories while walking to the buffet.

We had appetizers and after appetizers the men mysteriously disappeared. The ladies started talking and one girl hinted that there’s a surprise coming. I was shocked. Really? Wasn’t the fact that they set up this dinner already more than enough? (Ruy said my expectations were painfully low) No one knew what it was exactly though but one lady said she was forbidden to check her boyfriend’s mobile phone last week. I was curious but I figured it’s probably just flowers. Boy was I wrong.

The men went back carrying several musical instruments. They were going to serenade their wives? The first guy even had an emotional prose for his partner. Wow. I was chiding the next singer about having a dedication for his wife then I realized that Ruy was probably going to sing to and I really wasn’t ready for public declarations of love (I’m shy that way) so I shut up after that.

Ruy sang. I was happy. The entire thing reminded me of our first Valentine’s. He was singing a solo in one of their concerts in Ateneo and I surprised him by showing up. Now, 9 years after, I’m watching him sing again. It was really sweet.

I was giddy with happiness. Having your partner sing for you while surrounded by food from a buffet is as close to perfect as life could get. So we all ate dessert and suddenly the men disappeared again. Stupid me thought “Oh they’re probably smoking…” only to realize that none of those men actually smoked! They all walked in carrying roses. Awwwww….

Apparently one of the guys was tasked with going to Dangwa the night before, buying the flowers and transporting it to the resto. It was then revealed that Ruy’s affair the night before was their main practice session for their “gig”, I can’t believe I had no clue that something was going on!!

What exactly did I love about this entire thing? Let me enumerate:

1. That there was preparation and planning involved.
2. That they were ready to show their feelings to their partners in front of others. There were no machos in that group.
3. That Ruy’s friends value that kind of thing.
4. THE FOOD. Wahahaha
5. The talk in the car before the entire thing.

Ruy took the time around a month ago to remind me of how lucky I am with our family. We’re doing okay, I get to spend time with Andrea and according to Ruy “I’m still the same faithful guy as before”…so I should be extremely happy. Sad to say, emotions seldom follow logic and while I’m extremely happy some times, I become extremely sad a few moments after.

I decided last Sunday to approach my day to day life with the same vigor I did work. I started mapping out my days and my goals and by golly it made me feel invigorated. I LOVE IT!

I accomplished everything I set out to do yesterday but I’m sadly a few hours late today because Ruy left home late and because the internet went out for a couple of hours. I can’t believe how happy going down checklists make me feel. Am I abnormal?

I can’t believe she has the audacity to run for office. GUSTO KO SIYANG MURAHIN. How many other people running for office have the same mentality? What was she thinking? Does she think that all she needs is for people to know who she is and that would be enough for her to be qualified? What does she plan on doing once she’s elected?

If the video doesn’t work, the original is here Disgusting

Her social skills have improved dramatically in one year’s time. She still cannot be considered sociable now but those of us who have witnessed the changes know that she has changed dramatically. She started communicating with other people and is less agitated when faced with strangers.

Her communication skills are above average…but only when she’s talking to us. She still clams up when with strangers but WILL NOT SHUT UP when with me. She has started asking questions and absolutely hates it when I tell her I don’t know something. Her sentences have become more complex and she now likes associating new information with things she already knows….for example she told me that my bookmark looks like a lollipop or that a certain hat looks like a donut.

She has grown closer to my mom for some reason or another. She keeps wanting to go to my mom’s house and keeps talking about her grandma.  She is also idolizing my little sister (who’s turning 11!!!!), she would follow my sister around and copy whatever it is she’s doing.

She is now 3 ft 4 inches tall and has become a bit slimmer after she stopped drinking milk from the bottle.

She’s completely weaned from her bottle which lead to her being completely diaper free for the past 2 months…even at night!!  We put diapers on her when we go out but she refuses to use it and so we end up having to run to the nearest restroom so she can pee there. I decided that we’ve wasted enough diapers so last week I stopped using diapers even when we go out and I just say a little prayer that I might not be showered with pee that day.

She’s such  a good girl! She doesn’t throw tantrums, she obeys, she is not materialistic…I’m really so happy! I only hope we find out how she turned out that way so we can replicate it once baby number 2 comes…

“Closing time every new beginning is some other new beginning’s end. Here’s to our wonderful new beginnings in 2010. I just know 2010 is going to be fabulous. Why? Because we freaking deserve it after everything we went through in 2009″

Yes, 2009 was difficult — very difficult! It’s not even just one event but just the combination of things which happened last year which made for one heart-wrenching year. 2009 made me question mortalities, moralities, friendships, relationships, parenting, and my self-worth.  It was as if God was telling me that he gave me so much and yet I’m still dissatisfied and ungrateful so he decided to shake things up a bit and show me just how much I had by taking a lot of things away.

The brutal method might have worked on me. The amount of difficulty in 2009 was tantamount to the lessons learned that same year. I think 2009 was a year of lessons not only for me but for most of my friends. I surely hope I learned the lessons 2009 wants to teach me because I sure as hell don’t want another beating like that of 2009.

I’m ready to for the fabulous like 2010…bring it on!

I generally wake up earlier than Andrea so that’s when I come up with her schedule. I try to think of our activities for the day and then draw them. Yes, DRAW. I needed Andrea to understand the schedule so we had to use drawings.  When Andrea wakes up we talk about the schedule and she reads/interprets it herself and she makes changes in case there are things she doesn’t like.

Let me tell you what this schedule is all about. 1. Eat cookies, 2. Swim in her wading pool,3. Bathe (yes that’s a soap, excuse my ugly drawing), 4.Practice writing.

Here’s page 2 of her schedule

Next is drinking milk in a cup with a straw, then watching TV, and then eating lunch.

Andrea adores her schedule. She makes sure to check each activity once it’s finished and I feel her days are better utilized. We’ve been doing it for around 8 days and so far she’s loving it. Let’s see if we can keep this up.

(p.s. I’ve started including words in the recent schedules as I plan on teaching her how to read soon)

• We still remember exactly what we wore on our first date together. He wore these HORRIBLE green shades. YES, they were GREEN! I told him after he looked like a fly. =)
• I kept on lying to Ruy about having watched movies already because I wasn’t comfortable watching movies with guys I didn’t know so well (oh ha, conservative!)
• Ruy and I were both dating other people when we met.
• When I was in highschool I made a list of non negotiables when it comes to the guy I’m going to marry. Ruy has everything on my list.
• Here’s my list: 1. Speaks English VERY WELL, 2. Really intelligent, preferrably smarter than me, 3. Treats drivers, yayas, vendors, well, 3. Religious, 4. Has a great relationship with mom and family, 5. Faithful, 6. Loves me more than I love him (courtesy of my mom), 7. Is not physically aggressive (with anyone but specifically with me)
• I used to ask God for signs and I made this prayer when I was 16 that if God has chosen a guy for me, this guy will sing a particular song for me. This song was not popular at that time (it was revived recently), it was an OPM song and was released in the 80s. Ruy sang the song to me even before we started dating. When I heard him sing the song I didn’t put two and two together instead, I was pissed and said “Damn, now I need to find a new song to turn into a sign”…only when we were engaged did I realize that the sign was given to me early on.
• The first 3 years of our relationship were CRAZY. Probably cause I had so many issues and I was crazy. I can’t believe Ruy didn’t leave me at that time.
• Ruy’s infamous line is “I’m not going to leave you just because you’re screwed up”
• In college, I would go to school with bruises up my arm because my little sister (who was a toddler at that time) would be biting me, etc. Everyone thought Ruy was beating me up.
• I once fell flat on the floor and had a big wound across my eyebrow…Ruy’s family thought he beat me.
• Contrary to what everyone seems to think…Ruy has never beaten me…intentionally. He has hit me while he’s sleeping…FREUDIAN?
• Ruy’s definition of dessert consist of eating another meal…
• Ruy claims he married me even if I didn’t know how to cook then because my lola’s excellent cooking more than makes up for my lack of cooking (bwisit!)
• Ruy and I are both happy staying at home or eating out. We just can’t do the bar scene or the party scene…we’re boring that way.
• When we reached our 4th year as a couple, breaking up started becoming a non-option. We would fight knowing that we’re just fighting about the issue but we weren’t going to separate…it made a world of difference in terms of our feeling of security within the relationship.
• We don’t check phones or emails…we both know each other’s passwords but looking at his email is just too tedious and too boring that I’m not even tempted to look
• I didn’t want to change my surname but that was the only thing Ruy was absolutely resolute about was that if we were going to marry then I had to get his surname, hyphens weren’t allowed either.
• We don’t curse or shout when fighting.
• Ruy’s exes all had beatiful voices…which is why I didn’t allow him to hear me sing up until we were married.
• Ruy’s very shy…he’s not even comfortable holding my hands when we’re with my family or with his family.
• Ruy’s MAKULIT. Sobra.

I LOVED DOING THIS. Made me feel all warm and mushy inside. =) Hey married people….tell me about your husbands.

She and her yaya were playing with her megablocks and they made a toy dog. Here’s their conversation:

Yaya: What’s that?

Andrea: It’s a dog

Yaya: Is it Cinammon (Cinammon is my sister’s yorkshire terrier)?

Andrea: NOOOOOO

Yaya: Is it Sandy? (Sandy is little orphan Annie’s dog in the musical)

Andrea: NOOOO. Just a dog okay?

I couldnt’e believe she was responding in that way at 2 years old. May okay pa talaga sa huli eh.

It’s always so hard to say if you are doing a good job as a mom. First, there is always that difficult balance between discipline and impinging a child’s creativity and freedom. Next, you are never really sure if you’re doing things because of your issues regarding your childhood or if it’s really best for your kids. Third, I’m not sure if this is the case for all but I have around 3 people breathing down my neck at all times telling me how I’m raising my kid wrongly and that doesn’t help a first-time mom at all.

I personally believe that the only way you would know that you did your job as a mom is by seeing: a. How well your kids treat others, b. How well your kid reacts to changes, c. How well your kids raise their own kids. So up until I can use those indicators I’ll take Ruy’s word and Andrea’s peals of laughter as a sign that I’m on the right track…somehow.