It’s scary how accurate this test is…
Your Love Life is Like Annie Hall |
 “A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.”You believe that love (if you even believe in love!) is a very complicated thing.Maybe love is pain. Or maybe it’s all a big therapy session. You’re still figuring it out. Your love style: Brainy and a bit neurotic Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Realistic and reflective |
I know of people who seem to be in love with love.
They associate love with the feeling of infatuation, the giddiness the goosebumps, the chills.
This is the kind of love we see in movies, the kind of love people write poems about. I don’t agree that this is love.
People have dubbed me as “bato”, “manhid”, too logical, cynical or even jaded because I don’t see love as they do. I almost believed them.
I realized now that I do believe in love, but I know of love in a different way. I see this form of love everyday in different relationships and I am awed at how beautiful it is. I see it in so many ways:
I see these in my relationship and in my friends’ and I realize that I like this kind of love better than any kilig I can get.
Last night Ruy and I had the dorkiest conversation while watching American Idol:
Ruy was staring at me and this is our conversation:
Ruy: You’re so pretty
Ruy: Buti na lang sinagot mo ako. Bakit mo ba ako sinagot?
Liv: Di naman kita sinagot eh…
Ruy: Huh?
Liv: Di mo naman ako niligawan eh.
Ruy: Eh mag-ano tayo?
Liv: M.U.!
And then we just started snorting like crazy….what a bunch of dorks
Does one every end up actually completing one’s home? It seems that our house has been in a constant state of finishing for the past couple of months. We’ve been doing so many things yet it’s still not completed!! We still have SOOOO many things to do.
First we have no storage. Next we have nowhere to hang our clothes. We also don’t have curtains or curtain rods. We also don’t have Andrea’s cabinets and the yaya’s cabinets and sleeping area.
We are still lacking so many things it’s becoming quite tiring!
A lot of people here have sent me emails asking me what I gave Ruy for Father’s Day. I don’t want to go into the details of this but I gave him a head start to a new image. Some shirts, pants, glasses, etc. It was not a lot but it was enough to make him happy despite the fact that I didn’t give him the pair of golf shoes that he’s been drooling over. (couldn’t afford it)…hehehe
Yeah right, the QA Team at work would probably be laughing their asses off imagining me being sweet.
Well, at least I tried! Not that it was any success…
I guess being sweet is really not my forte. Why do I even try? ….nuninuninu
I’ve heard a bunch of people talking about trophy wives. They seem to look down on women who are being paraded around by their husbands like a bunch of baseball trophies. I was slightly amused by this conversation. I personally have nothing against being treated like a Trophy Wife. Why, I think it’s actually very sweet if your husband holds you in such high esteem that he considers you so such a catch and you end up being a trophy wife. I think the problem is that some people are only that, they are just there for aesthetics and for appearances.
That’s something I don’t agree with.
Appearances and beauty for me are too temporal, too fleeting to base a relationship on. There are always going to be people who would be younger, sexier and prettier than your wife and what happens when you find that person?
I had the best 5-day-Mother’s-Day-Celebration ever in the history of the world. It’s not because of the extravagance or the expense, but how perfectly it fit me.
Thursday was perfect cause I got to do something I’ve been meaning to do for months and haven’t gotten around to doing so which is visit my doctor. I also got to spend practically a whole day with my family which made it doubly fun.
Friday was amazing. It was perfect cause I got to go on a road trip with two of my favorite people. I’m sensitive when it comes to road trips, I can’t just go with anyone. But this trip was just perfect. The food was awesome, the company great, I felt taken cared off and pampered.
Saturday was the day Ruy insisted on celebrating Mother’s day together without Andrea. I said “What for? We celebrated already yesterday” and he said that was with Andrea, now it’s our turn. It was perfect cause it made me feel that I wasn’t just a mother, that I was a wife too. It reminded me of an often neglected role in my life.
This was the same day Ruy pointed out that I kept on buying the same kinds of shades and asked me to try on some other kind. It was beautiful. He insisted on buying it for me (I wouldn’t let him, don’t underestimate my pulling powers). It was perfect cause I realized that after 8 years together he still notices these details. Details which I myself overlook. It was perfect cause I can see that he knows me well enough to know what fits me and what I’d like.
Sunday was spent with my inlaws having the yummiest lunch ever. It was perfect cause I’m beginning to feel more and more like family.
Monday was spent sleeping the whole day suffering from migraine. It was perfect because I got to take care of myself. I got to experience not being responsible for anything and still the world continued to revolve. I realized I don’t need to worry about everything. I needed to worry about myself.
Mother’s day this year was perfect. Thursday was spent being a sister and a daughter, Friday a mother, Saturday a wife, Sunday an inlaw and Monday being myself. It was beautiful, it was complete, it was perfect.
I’m selos-jealous yet again. It’s a Philippine Holiday and since I chose to be on French Holiday then I am at work. I left for work just as Ruy and Andrea were in the garden playing. Huhuhu…I so want to be playing with Andrea right now. I do think I had a whole lot of Andrea over the weekend, but then you can never have enough of a good thing right?
Thank goodness I love my work (I might have to rethink this statement soon) and so going to work is not as difficult as it probably is for most moms.
Ruy is currently into golf. I’m actually surprised at how into this sport he’s become. He bought his own set of clubs from this place which sells clubs and golf bags . The clubs looked great but I just had to laugh when I saw the bag. Can you imagine a big man like Ruy carrying a gold bag with a huge teddy bear on it? It’s hilarious I’m telling you. Now I can say that Ruy has golf clubs and a golf CUB…hahaha.
I feel so frustrated. No matter what I do, at least one of my masters would be unhappy or dissatisfied. The more I try to please every one, the more I end up pleasing no one. I also end up questionning if I’m actually good enough to take on any of the roles I’m trying to fill. =(
What frustrates me more is the fact that I know I am good enough….hell ,I’m awesome!! I know that…but I don’t feel that way at all right now.
I was tagged by Litzie. =)
How long did you date? 5 Years
How old is he? He’s turning 30 this year
Who eats more? Waaaah. I hope he does
Who said “I love you” first? Him, I’m quite stingy with my affection
Who is taller? Him as well, over 8 inches taller than myself
Who sings better? Oh him definitely
Who is smarter? It depends….let me put it this way, my non negotiable when it comes to a partner is intelligence.
Whose temper is worse? He’s scary when he gets mad, but i get mad faster.
Who does the laundry? The maid
Who does the dishes? The maid
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Ruy
Who pays the bills? Moi!
Who mows the lawn? NONE!! It needs to trimmed badly
Who cooks dinner? Ruy!! His cooking is awesome
Who drives when you are together? I always push him to drive but he really wants me to
Who is more stubborn? I think both of us are equally stubborn
Who kissed who first? Ruy…tsk tsk tsk…I almost slapped him…but I didn’t…hmmm
Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Ruy
Whose parents do you see the most? Ruy’s
Who proposed? He did.
Who is more sensitive? Ruy
Who has more friends? I’m not sure
Who has more siblings? We both only have one.
Who wears the pants in the family? Hmmmm….let’s just say that no one wears a skirt in this relationship
I tag Nikki, Jane and Jen =)
One step at a time,
One hope then another,
Who knows where this road may go.
(insert Olivia’s wistful sigh here)
Note: I was listening to some songs while working on an excel file (I suck at excel) and just had to take a minute off to write this.
Before we got married, Ruy and I already had a division of labor which we thought was fair at that time. He is the big cook and he hates washing the dishes. I on the other hand enjoyed the bubbles and water and liked washing dishes. It seemed perfectly logical at that time to assign the task of cooking to Ruy and washing to me.
I am re-thinking this set-up now as I have seen just how Ruy cooks. He’s like a madman when he’s cooking. He obsesses over a dish…then when he’s cooking that he thinks of what other things he can pair up with what he’s cooking. Pots and pans are everywhere when he’s done.
I’m thinking it’s time to get a dishwasher. I looked up the best brands online as I’m not so familiar with this appliance and I saw that the dishwasher with the best reviews is the ge dishwasher . It seems to be the perfect balance between price and quality. Do any of you have ge dishwashers? Can you give me any feedback on ge dishwashers.
Now, if Ruy’s cooking and the dishwasher’s washing…what do I do?
I EAT!!!
Valentine’s day is coming. Are you one of those people who go all out for this occassion? I have a friend who’s actually going to buy a plasma tv for her boyfriend. BOYFRIEND okay not even husband.
I personally think that’s going too far too soon. I wouldn’t mind getting one for Ruy as I’m sure he’d go crazy over it, unfortunately I only have budget for a plasma lift right now…so sorry Ruy, you might have to wait for 5 years more…hehehe
As I have mentioned a few posts down, Ruy and I celebrated err commemorated our 7th year anniversary as a couple.
Ruy actually was inviting me to go and watch a movie with him last night but I said no. I just didn’t feel like it. I have never been a movie person and I would just be as happy staying at home watching something on DVD. That is sooo much more relaxing for me.
I realized though that turning down that offer might be insensitive. Here he is planning and scheming on how we can celebrate and he gives me a suggestion and I blast it immediately.
Oh well…
It was 7 years ago, during the height of the Edsa Dos rallies when Ruy and I got together.
At that time, it was just something fun. We both wanted it to last but I don’t think either one of us could have predicted the turn of events and where we are right now.
It’s been one hell of a journey, and I’m sure we have so much in store for us and our Andrea.
Can’t wait!
Ruy and I are couch potatoes. Not that we are proud of it, but we’re just stating it as it is. We’re happy quietly watching episode after episode of our favorite series or reality show. We have several things we’ve been drooling over that would make our couch potato world’s even better. First we want those Omron massage chairs…mmmmm. The ones that massage you from the neck down and up again. Then we went a screen the size of a small movie house….and lastly we want some home theater popcorn machines where you can get popcorn which you can drizzle with freshly melted butter…Dream on Olivia
Today I was faced with a decision….should I buy shoes or a food processor. Had you asked me a year ago what I would choose I would have very easily said the shoe. But lo and behold, things have apparently changed a lot because I actually chose to buy a food processor.
I am still reeling from this decision. I myself am in shock. Is this the start of the domestication of livi….ewww I shudder at the thought.
That’s what you can call Andrea and myself. We’ve been so grumpy lately as we’re both sick. I don’t know how Ruy can stand it actually but he is somehow able to manage it.
Andrea is being absolutely horrible. She barely sleeps and just keeps on crying. I keep on telling her “Honey I can’t give you what you want cause you don’t even know what you want.” She’s extremely cranky and we’re basically tip toeing around her right now.
It’s so tough cause we can’t give her anything because of the drug recalls in the US several of our doctors have already warned us against it so I’d rather not risk letting Andrea take anything.
I hope she gets better soon…a cranky baby leads to a cranky Mommy…poor Ruy
First Ruy caught colds. Then Andrea had her vaccination which caused her immune system to go down which means she got Ruy’s colds. Now my throat is starting to itch and I’m feeling a bit weak…I’m pretty sure I’m coming down with something as well.
I feel bad cause I feel like my family’s unhealthy. Ruy and I have already agreed to stop eating junk food starting January 1 but I’m beginning to wonder if we might possibly need some nutritional supplements as well.
I don’t know why but I feel like it’s a failure on my part when my family’s sick. =(
A lot of my guy friends complain that it’s so hard to find gifts for girls. I do not understand this sentiment. It is infinitely harder for me to find gifts for boys. I have to really research and look around just to find something for Ruy and more often that not I end up resorting to just asking him what he wants. And when I do, you know what he says? “ANYTHING!” …aaaaaaarrrggghh
A few days before Christmas and I’m still completely at a loss as to what I should give Ruy. This is so unlike me. I think motherhood has somehow made me self-centered. I’ve already bought 2 gifts for Andrea….that’s all! Nothing for my nephews and my godchildren. I’m awful I’m telling you…just awful!
Ruy is extremely easy to please yet I’m having a hard time thinking of a gift for him. I think he would like these memorabilia from movies. Ruy’s a sucker for these things and the site I saw offers really wonderful ones. Not only are they autographed by the actors they are also rare. These are not the kinds you find everywhere, these are serious collector items. I can just imagine Ruy giddily looking at these things.
I’m sure Ruy would adore the the Star Wars 30th Anniversary memorabilia which is autographed by the actors. It even has Carrie Fisher’s signature. Ruy is one of those men who are mesmerixed by Princess Lea. Don’t ask me why please, I don’t understand it as well. This is definitely perfect for Ruy. The only drawback is one piece costs as much as my car…waaah. It’s definitely worth it but unfortunately I don’t have the budget for it.
I don’t know if you’re all aware of this but RUY and I share a blog. It’s this little project of ours which turned out to be quite a success. How do I say it’s a success? We’ve had it up and running for over 3 months, we have a decent base of readers and we enjoy doing it together. It’s like our 3rd baby (First is our dog Sushi, next will be Andrea and then our blog)
We’ve been talking about getting our own domain but we’re not sure how we should go about it. We don’t want to waste our backlinks and connections but at the same time we realize that having our own domain might be more beneficial for us in the long run. I’ve already looked at this website http://www.webhostingchoice.com to look at our options.
Does anyone have any advice for non-techie people like us?
This morning I went to this small shopping center where I ran some errands. I basically paid credit card bills, water bills, mobile phone bills etc. I was literally drained at 11:30 in the morning. How can one be so tired a few hours after waking up?
I am not complaining about my situation…despite all the drama I LOVE my life! I have a job I adore and one that keeps me wanting to go to work and I have Andrea. Ruy and I are also constantly working on making the marriage thing work. Another blessing is the fact that we have a wonderful support system in our extended families. My in-laws are wonderful and are always trying to help out and my family will insist on helping out even when it’s not necessary (yes they’re kulit that way).
I sometimes feel like my life is just a continuous pattern of trying to get everything done, trying to meet deadlines, trying to make the budget fit while trying to keep everyone happy. It’s tiring and frustrating at times. I rarely hear people complain about their lack of time to be just them. It’s not about shopping or going to the parlor…it’s about being YOU. I chanced upon this magazing called Working Mom (the latest issue) and started reading it while waiting for my number to be called…there’s this article that tugged my heartstrings in all angles. It completely captured what I was experiencing and feeling. Let me give you guys a clip from the article:
The office is actually the one place I recover some of the old me. I can run projects with brisk efficiency and take a client to a restaurant without having to cut up his food. But that’s the office. I’m in trouble if work is the only place where I can relax.
“My life is here somewhere,” I thought realizing that I didn’t want those single girls’ definition of fun — I wanted mine. — Joy Perez, Working Mom Magazine Dec. 2007-Jan. 2008
I wish I could share the rest of the article with you but I don’t want to plagiarize anything. This woman captured what I have been going through lately and I swear I want to hug her. It’s nice to know you’re not alone
Andrea has received several gifts from myself already for Christmas but I can’t seem to think of a gift for Ruy. For the past couple of years I’ve given him watches several times. I don’t know why this is so but it seems to be the trend with my gifts for Ruy (while he in turn keeps giving me wallets). Following this informal tradition, I’m looking into these Franck Muller watches which look very nice. What do you guys think?
When I was young, I thought the term juggling work and home was a hyperbole. I didn’t know that the term juggling is actually an understatement.
Yesterday, I was overwhelmed yet again by how difficult it is maintaining a stressful job, a growing baby and a part time job (maintaining 3 blogs and maintaining opps).
I had to take Andrea to the doctor yesterday for her IPD vaccination. Not only was it extremely expensive (around 5k) it was also scheduled right smack in the middle of my working schedule. I was just on leave last Monday due to an accident with my car so I couldn’t possibly go on leave again. I then asked my boss if I could work 13 hours on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday just to offset my Wednesday working hours. He said I’m not allowed to work more than 11 hours…so I had no choice but to work half day on Wednesday.
I then took Andrea with me to work, Andrea decided to use the hour long drive to work for crying. This is strange as she actually enjoys long drives but at that time she was just cranky for some reaason or another. When we got to the office, I left her in the lounge with Mary our trusty helper and then worked for around 4 hours. At that point I was stressing out hoping that Andrea wasn’t disturbing other people.
I then had to rush and drive to Cardinal Santos where her Pedia was. The Pedia only had 2 clinic hours so I was panicked beyond words when the traffic was jammed.
When we got to Cardinal, Andrea was back to her crying/screaming phase and the rain was pouring like there was no tomorrow. It wasn’t raining cats and dogs, it was raining leopards and wolves I’m telling you.
What does one do in situations like this? I drove to the driveway, asked Mary to take Andrea down so I can look for parking. I had no choice as our umbrella couldn’t have kept Andrea dry under that rain.
I was then told by the guard that there’s no more parking. I wanted to cry right there and then. Andrea’s there inside the hospital crying and hungry, while I was inside the car with nowhere to park and Andrea’s bottles were all with me. I wasthisclose to having a breakdown right there and then.
You guys are not going to believe it…but I think my yaya finally saw the light. This morning while driving Andrea to my lola’s house I asked her what else is missing and that she better make sure she won’t forget anything. She then shows me a list she made. She made a list!!! Wooohoo…
Of course the list contained EVERYTHING we buy so my grocery bill reached almost 4k. But that’s better than worrying if your daughter still has something to drink at night. Right?
I feel like Christmas came early today.
So, the yaya strikes again. Yesterday morning she tells me “Ate, dalawa na lang ang diaper.” I take a deep breath count to three and say “Ok”
I didn’t want to argue with her anymore. I feel like it’s futile. Try talking to a wall…that’s how it feels with this yaya. The problem with her is that she doesn’t learn. One time I asked her to commute to the grocery herself in the middle of the night (okay I’m exagerating here, it was at 8:30 pm) just so she would realize what she’s making me do. It had no effect though. I have also tried explaining the repercussions of these actions…no effect as well.
So, Ruy and I went to the grocery to buy diaper. 2 hours after she tells me that we only have enough milk for a day. The morning after, she tells me we have no wipes.
Can I cry now?
1. First name: if he doesn’t like his name plastered all over the internet, a pet name will do.
2. How and where did you meet?
3. Characteristics
4. Your plans 20 to 30 years from now.
1. His Name: Ruy, sometimes to annoy him I call him Ru-ru. We call each other hon sometimes but we get confused. We’re not sure if the other person’s talking to Andrea or us.
2. How we met? Common friends…
3. Characteristics of Ruy?
4. Our 20-30 year plan
I’m now tagging my husband, Jen and Litzie. =)
My yaya is driving me insane. She always waits up until the last minute before she tells us that something’s missing which results in multiple trips to the grocery within the week. For someone like me who barely has time to pee, this is not fun at all.
Monday. I drive home at around 9 pm but I had to stop by the grocery at 9:30 so I can buy diapers and Cerelac for Andrea.
Tuesday. Morning. She tells me that Andrea doesn’t have food anymore. I tell her I already bought food.
Tuesday. Lunch Time. She tells me we don’t have Milk and Water for Andrea. I go to the grocery before work…I’m already pissed. To make matters worse I dropped an entire display of cds when I accidentally hit the audio racks. Good thing I didn’t have to pay for anything.
Wednesday. She now tells me that we don’t have soap for Andrea’s clothes. WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS WOMAN? I want to strangle her already.
Yesterday, Ruy wanted to go to a bookstore. I told him I couldn’t as I needed to work. I told him I’d go with him right after I finish the files I was listening to. He said it’s okay, he didn’t want to interrupt my work and that he’d go on his own.
I let him.
I am now eaten up by guilt. It’s the weekend, I shouldn’t be working. I should be hanging out with my family and relaxing. Yet the majority of the weekend was spent working on paid opps and working on my laptop for my real work. =( I feel like a bad wife.
That night we weren’t 25-29 year old parents with bills to pay.
That night we weren’t corporate work horses slaving away over 8 hours each day just to give 32% of their salaries to the gov’t without a clue as to where tha money’s going.
That night we weren’t concerned about the dollar, or the economy of the country.
That night we didn’t worry about the issues of our extended families.
That night we regressed — we were 16, high school sweethearts maybe? Using our cellphone (which our parents bought for us) to capture the moments after our High School Dance.
It was fun! Couples should regress every once in a while.
p.s.
Thank goodness for the internal camera of the Motorolla V6MAXX
Ruy has been incredibly sweet lately. When I say sweet I don’t mean things like holding hands, texting each other to ask if the other has eaten. I mean things like supporting my hair cut, trying not to get pissed when I go home late for work, or taking care of Andrea when she cries at 2 am because he knows I need to wake up at 4 meanwhile he needs to wake up at 6, it means taking care of our pest problems without me telling him as he knows how bothered I am by it.
I am feeling quite touched and overwhelmed by the sweetness. The psychologist in me is itching to get to the bottom of it. What triggered it? Why? What’s happening to him? Meanwhile the woman in me just wants to relish and enjoy it. I have to remind myself not to think but just feel.
I love the response to my Annoying Tag. I knew some of the people I tagged would be willing to reveal “not-so-perfect” quirks about themselves, i didn’t know that even the people they’ve tagged would feel the same. It was also funny hearing people say that 7 quirks is not enough for them…wahahah
In this time when we are constantly bombarded by images of perfection it’s hard to feel good about our “flaws”. I can just imagine people comparing themselves to these images of perfection and feeling like crap. I have heard of new moms feel like failures because their child is showing a preference to the care-giver. OR of moms feeling inadequate because they weren’t able to breast feed well.
I believe that we, know what’s best for our families and ourselves. No more SHOULDS, let’s celebrate our quirks our flaws.
“I am different from others, that’s amazing ! I do things differently…deal with it”
I believe that people take themselves too seriously some time. I think people should learn to look at how they have failed and laugh about it…when you laugh about something your entire mind set changes. Things which are grave seem less grave and you suddenly see hope in previously hopeless situations.
I also think we should begin to celebrate our quirks. Realize that our person, attitudes, habits are unique to us in one way or another.
In line with this, I am starting my own TAG. I am imploring people to tell me why they are annoying (annoying here is said lovingly…wahahha)
Instructions: List 7 quirks, habits, traits which make you annoying. When you’re done, TAG 7 others to do the same
I tag Ruy, Nuni, Jen, Marj, Gracita, Jean, Arvi, Nikki
p.s.
I could just go on and on with this list…thank you for the people in my team who were so enthusiastic in helping me come up with items for this list. IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THAT EASY PEOPLE!!!
Aside from finding humor in motel ads such as the one you can see from this post, we were also able to find food. Not just any kind of food…good and affordable food.
You can see our story by looking at my version or Ruy’s version.
Can’t wait — Details Here
I was looking through some pictures Ruy took last week and I saw this one:
I LOVE IT!! I was actually trying to cover the camera not knowing that my fingers were creating a hole. The overall effect is just so nice for me. Then again he’s my husband so I should be his number one fan (or number 2 next to his mom)
I am not happy right now. No it has nothing to do with my personal life. Let me put it this way…I HATE MEDIOCRITY, I HATE INCOMPETENCE. I specially hate it when it makes my life more difficult. There…nuff said!
I have decided to cheer myself up by thinking happy thoughts. The first thing that came to mind? What Ruy and I did last weekend…can you guess?
We watched an entire season of America’s Next Top Model!!! Can you believe it? Ruy would probably kill me for revealing this online but I really find it adorable. I still can’t help giggling when I imagine Ruy watching the show. I think he got hooked, he just refuses to admit it. Weheheh
Two days ago, Ruy was asking me about my new obsession with digiscrapping. He had me explain what a kit is, what are the elements, etc. I thought he was just humoring me but NO!!! When I got home, the computer was open and there was an arrow pointing to a folder. Inside the folder are all these kits, ribbons, buttons and papers which he downloaded for me…tell me that’s not sweet!! It was soooo cute.
Here’s another LO by the way:
The papers are from
All elements are from the Spring Breeze of http://www.shabbyprincess.com
Flowers by Angie Briggs
Waaaah I don’t know where the butterfly’s from…wehehehe
I’ve been moaning and groaning about Ruy…when what I should have done is talk to him. Now I finally have…and we’re okay. YAY!!
WOW, I heard this song over the radio and it left me mesmerized. When I read the entire lyrics I was even more awed at how well it captures my relationship with Ruy…hmmmm
This song is for Ruy (who visits this blog about once a year). Wow…
Flaws And All
I’m a train wreck in the morning
I’m a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I’m a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren’t even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day.
[Chorus]
I don’t know why you love me
And that’s why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that’s why I love you [3x]
I neglect you when I’m working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I’m a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I’m a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I’m a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
and that’s exactly what I mean.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpQEC2gk8lY]
- Treat your spouse or partner as you would your best friend or best client. It is unfortunate that at times we treat our closest and dearest relationships in rude or even cruel ways.
- Think of ways you can do the unexpected and thoughtful. Remember how you acted when you were first dating and wanted to impress your loved one. Plan and carry out something spontaneous on occasion.
- Look for ways to compliment your spouse or partner. We all enjoy genuine compliments to brighten our day. Look for those qualities that first attracted you to your loved one.
- Express your thoughts and feelings carefully. While it is important to be emotionally open and intimate with our significant other, being in a relationship doesn’t give anyone permission to “let it all hang out” in a hurtful manner.
- Learn to let go of the small stuff in disagreements. While serious conflict needs to be addressed, many couples argue over issues of little consequence. It can be helpful to ask yourself when you’re annoyed with your loved one, “will this matter next week?”
- Spend regular time together alone. It is difficult to remain emotionally close without making an effort to spend quality time together. A danger in long-term relationships is feeling as if you’re living “parallel lives” under the same roof. Relationships don’t run on “automatic pilot”. They take effort and work.
- Acknowledge each others comings and goings. Hug when you say hello and goodbye. Regular physical touch conveys caring and is an expression of love. Tell each other “I love you” every day. When you say the words, look each other in the eyes. All too frequently, we throw our “love ‘ya” out as we’re headed out the door.
- It is important to slow down and spend some time focusing on each other at the end of the day. One couple I know have what they refer to as their “wind down” time each evening. They spend 20-30 minutes each evening checking in with each other and discussing the events of their day.
- Research has found that couples whose marriages or relationships last the longest have learned to separate from their families of origin (their own parents and siblings) and have appropriate, healthy boundaries. This means that they have appropriate contact with their families, without permitting their families to interfere with their lifestyle and decision-making.
Got this from Yna’s blog and I found it soooo interesting. Specially the last point about distancing yourself from your family. This is EXTREMELY hard for me to do. I am in love with my family and if there’s one thing I hate about being married it’s the fact that I don’t get to spend as much time with my family as I want to. =(
I know what this post is saying is right, although knowing it is different from living it.
Liv: Can you give me one reason why you love me?
–silence–
After a few minutes…
Ruy: Cause you’re sweet.
– silence —
Ruy: Eh you can you give me a reason?
Of course I was able to do so immediately.
Is it karma? Cause I was berating Aaron for having to think for so long before giving me a reply when I asked him to give me his reason for loving his gf?
What does sweet mean anyway? In my heart of hearts I know I’m not sweet. If you will rate the people inside my room in the office I’ll probably be at the bottom of the list of sweet people. Is sweet the same as nice? Cute? Ok? The things you say when you can’t find something nice to say?
I have a friend who always uses the word charming when describing babies who are not pretty. That way the mother wouldn’t take offense. Is sweet parallel to charming? Weheheh
I think it was someone from the bible who said no man can serve two masters. Well try serving 5!!
I’ve recently been seriously messing up my married life by doing stupid and completely avoidable mistakes. It seems that the more I try not to mess up the more I do. I’m a bit discouraged at how difficult it is to be a good “everything”…right now I’m just a passable “something”…
Confusing? Yeah, I’m sure it is. Let me try to explain by first introducing my 5 masters.
That list of course was written randomly, however isn’t it funny that work is up there without my thinking about it? Somehow it seems that work is the only thing I’ve managed to still do well (although still not as well as I want to do it) . It’s so hard because every single minute I stay longer at work is another minute away from Andrea. And another minute spent on Andrea is one away from Ruy. Another minute spent with Ruy is one away from my family (family here refers to my lola, mom, sister, aunt, nephews, etc.)
– o –
I’m wondering if I have what it takes to be a good wife…
I’ve been thinking about this for weeks and my mind can’t come up with a reason for me to say that I’m a good wife. I know how I’m a wonderful grand daughter, a great employee, a fun boss, a great sister, an ok daughter…I also know that if I had more time and a bit more practice I’d be an excellent mom…but I don’t know about being a wife. As I’ve mentioned earlier…no reason comes to mind.
– o –
I miss my family and most specially my sister. I see my grandmother almost every day but I almost only literally SEE her. I barely get to spend any time with her cause I have to hurry to work.
I see my sister once a week and yet again it’s really literally just seeing her.
– o –
You know my 5th master? Myself…I haven’t been able to do anything for her lately as well.
– o –
God please give me 30 hours in a day so that I may serve all my masters.
…Let me count the ways why I don’t. *insert a dramatic sigh here* People who know me would be able to attest to the fact that I’m not emotional, sentimental nor mushy. Somehow though I was feeling very sentimental and mushy today and so I asked Ruy before we slept “Why do you love me”…to which my husband replied “Cause you get me water when I’m thirsty”.
Just to explain this statement, for around half an hour he’s been hinting that he’s thirsty and I’ve been ignoring the hints. Yes I knew he was hinting, I wasn’t manhid…
Hearing his reply, I just said “Oh well, fine” and turned around to sleep. This was not exactly the answer I was looking for but hell maybe I deserved that answer…
This question was prompted by a conversation I had with some officemates last week where the question was “What made you like your partner”. One man said “She gave me freedom yet she made me want to go home every night”. Beautiful isn’t it? I only wish I had a tape recorder right there and then so I can make his wife listen to what he said. I’m sure she’d really appreciate that. Anyway, I asked Ruy hoping to get a response maybe half as sweet…but just as honest. But nooooo…and it didn’t stop there.
He realized I think that my question was a serious question and so he tried to save himself by saying “You make me happy and you make me suffer”….at this point I told him “Shut up”. I was not getting mad at him cause you can’t get mad at people for answering your question. If I couldn’t handle his response then I shouldn’t have asked. I was a bit put off by his reply though. I just wish I didn’t bother asking. He sensed that I wasn’t taking his ‘humor’ well and so he said “No, the kind of suffering that builds character. At this point I just wanted to say…”go on ruy, dig yourself a deeper grave. you can do it!!” . He then asked me why I loved him. I replied by saying “Because I can make you suffer. The kind of suffering which builds character.” I left the room after that
When I returned he tried giving me a better answer but it just didn’t cut it anymore. What a stupid way to end our wedding monthsary. Now I’m still up and I can’t sleep cause I’m still annoyed. hooboy
I’ve had enough of looking like trash…I figured I better start anew right now. The thing is, I’ve been telling myself that I’d start taking care of myself again once I go back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Here’s the problem: I doubt if this will happen soon. So I will follow the musical RENT and claim my life today “No day but today” right?
So I’m starting by wearing shoes again (I’ll still wear Havaianas to work every now and then though). This is a breakthrough as my feet grew a shoe size when I got pregnant. So I was cursed to either wear my slippers or go barefoot. I’ve started buying shoes again and today I’m actually wearing shoes.
My next step is to wear glasses that 1. Fit the shape of my face, 2. Funky, 3. Actually matches the grade of my eyes (which also changed after pregnancy. So here is my new pair of eyeglasses:
It’s a funky yellow color that has hints of blue around the edges. It’s quite cool…=)
I’ve also started fixing my hair every once in a while….baby steps…watch out world…in a few months I’ll be vavavoom heheheh
Sometimes I feel like I’m just an intermission in Ruy’s life… (mush)
Ruy drove me to work today, and he’s picking me up after. Just like in the past…I’m really thrilled about it. I must admit it’s getting harder and harder for us to do this now that Andrea’s here but we’re trying…
This is what I’ve been going through for the past two days. Ruy’s work has brought him out of the city again but this time it’s different, this is the first time he has left not only me but Andrea as well.
Ruy and I have been going out for over half a decade and he’s been at this job for around 4 years so I’ve gotten used to this set up of him being goe 3-4 days a week. I would be a hypocrite if I said that it was easy. Hell No! In fact it was extremely tough at the beginning for me. I hated the fact that I can’t see him at will. That I needed to call others when I had car problems….etc. Then I realized that if it was tough on me it’s probably a dozen times tougher on him. At least I’m here in the city surrounded with friends but he is driving miles and miles accross deserted streets to places where he only knows handfuls of people. I know it’s even harder for him now that Andrea’s here.
While Ruy’s gone though, I realized that I’m playing a role of a single parent. It’s both tough and great. The great part? I get to make my own decisions with Andrea without having to think about another person. I have become an extremely independent thinker and having to consider another person’s input in raising Andrea has been the toughest adjustment for me. I can also let Andrea cry without having to think about waking Ruy up…
Now the drawbacks…not having someone there. I realized that not having someone has an impact on one’s psyche. Every night I need to pscyhe myself “Liv, you might not get some sleep tonight so be prepared…” I know I’m not going to have a reliever if ever I get sleepy or feel tired.
I think about it and I realized that there are a lot of people really go through child rearing alone. Wow! These women are amazing. I have the utmost respect for them and I realize the sacrifices they have to go through. These very sacrifices are probably the reason why some women choose to stay with assholes called husbands instead of leaving them. They’re afraid of having to go through everything alone. I don’t agree of course but I kinda see where they’re coming from.
Read this in another blog:
ellen
well, here you are on the cover of details magazine, looking very stylish..(female audience cheers and hoots)
ellen
and the headline reads, “ashton kutcher.. may just be the best husband in the world”.(ashton blushes)
ashton
the key word there is.. “MAY”!(audience and ellen laughs)
ellen
no really, but why do you think they say that? what makes you the best husband in the world?ashton
ah, well.. you see.. its simple. i have the best wife in the world.(everybody now.. “AAAAAWWW..”)
I’m dying here people!! If Ruy were here right now I’d demand that he say the same thing about me….hahaha This made me like Ashton Kutcher…I demand that every woman watch his movies from now on!
I know I’ve been gushing too much about Ruy already but allow me to gush some more. We had a surprise “date” last night. Well it’s not really a date date but when I asked him to take me to the ATM he said let’s use this time to eat out, just the two of for the first time in over 2 weeks.
It was really sweet, much appreciated and needed. PLUS he allowed me to order TUNA (something I haven’t been allowed to eat while I was pregnant) despite the fact that he hates fish.
One of the things I was afraid of about being a mother is the fact that most people assume that this should be your only and primary role. I love Andrea but being a mother is not all I am. I refuse to give up being an employee, a daughter, a friend, a bitch, a sister and of course a wife. I’m glad Ruy’s helping me make sure I don’t stop being a wife…
Luggages under my eyes that are so big and dark they could be mistaken for samsonites, still visible uterus that slightly jiggles, sweat sweat sweat despite not leaving the air-conditioned room, slightly limited movement due to the caesarian operation, no more privacy, no intimacy, snuggles which never last longer than 5 minutes, practically no communication as any extra time is just spent catching up on sleep…
No Johnson and Johnson commercial ever showed this side of post pregnancy. These are the things I honestly was not prepared for. And no don’t worry I’m not undergoing Post Partum Depression. I am actually quite content right now. I never imagined that despite all of those things I mentioned above, I have never felt closer to Ruy. It feels like we’re finally really a team. I do admit it sucks that it’s the woman who suffers the brunt of the situation, all the sacrifices fall on the woman but still Ruy’s been a great companion through it all (just don’t count the early mornings…he’s insane during these period and can barely understand anything I say or ask).
I specially appreciates the trust he’s giving me in taking care of Andrea. You know how when you have a baby everyone’s telling you what you should do with your baby? Well they’re telling Ruy and Ruy would always ask me and if I say “No” he just believes that it’s best. I know that seems petty but I have friends whose husbands are assholes and demand to be the ones making ALL the decisions about the kids. Ruy has input definitely but he’s never bullheaded about anything and is always open to logical discussions about stuff….
I don’t know what the point of my post is =) I’m just gushing about my husband I guess…
I need…
=(
Taking care of Andrea has been extremely easy for me…why? Because my sister was born when I was 16 and a half and so I was able to take care of her, feed her, wash her, help bathe her, etc. I was a pro at handling Andrea right off the bat. Ruy however had a slightly more difficult time. You see, Ruy is a big guy and I noticed that in the beginning he was so afraid of hurting Andrea so much so that his movements became really awkward.
Now, exactly a week after, he’s getting quite good!! He can now switch arms while carrying Andrea, lay down Andrea without waking her up, etc….woohoo…SNAPS FOR RUY!!
SJ stands for….tantaran…Selos Jealous. =) Hahaha Who would have thought that after two decades in this planet called earth I’d actually feel jealous. Ruy was shocked and so was I.
Ruy and I were just chatting innocently when he mentioned how much more beautiful this girl has gotten. He said it in this way “Grabeh, lalong gumaganda si ______, lalong nagiging kamukha ni Donita Rose.”….both Ruy and myself were shocked by my outburst of “WHAT????????”
This jealousy thing is completely out of character, in fact I even point out girls for Ruy and bug him about the fact that he doesn’t oggle at girls or that he doesn’t like girly magazines. But today was different for me somehow…Here’s the long and short of our discussion….
Ruy: Oh come one, I had all the chance when I was single we were very close and we had so much in common but I didn’t go for it.
Liv: See, but we weren’t very close and we had nothing in common…(at the back of my head my thought process was “Hmmph, we didn’t have those but you went for me, why wouldn’t you go for this person now?”…also at the back of my head “Pucha, kamukha na ni Donita ‘close’ and ‘a lot in common’ pa, wala na talong talo na ako” )
Ruy: But I was single then, I’m married now. If I wanted her I would have gone for her then.
Liv: Yeah, but you said she’s boring. Now that you’re married it becomes illicit and thus it becomes more exciting.
Ruy: Oh come on, she’d never make patol cause she’s so religious….
Liv: WHAT? But you like religious…and I’m not religious….
Ahhhhhh…who would have thought the time would come when I’d feel insecure. It’s not really easy feeling confident when you look at yourself in the mirror and you look like a cow.
I took pride of the fact that I’ve been picky with men. Yes despite my dating a lot of people then, I never took people seriously if they don’t match my criteria and I have definitely learned from past dating mistakes.
When I started going out with Ruy, most of my friends were surprised. I’m sure most of his friends felt the same about me. To make the long story short, we’re not each other’s type and people initially couldn’t understand how we could have ended up together.
