Life, etcetera

I’ve stocked all of my old clothes at my grandmother’s house. It works well for me as I still have them BUT I don’t need to deal with storing them. Last weekend however, my grandmother decided to sell 80% of my clothes in a garage sale.

I had no idea selling your own clothes and things can be this difficult and even emotional. Seeing those clothes brought back memories and feelings I have long forgotten. I couldn’t help but keep some of the things we were meaning to sell. I just couldn’t sell the shirt I was wearing during my first date with Ruy. =)

Last week saw me depressed and Ruy managed to change that with his Valentine gift. I’m now happier…and more efficient. I was able to bug people into doing what I want effectively tonight. Thus, the DSL, phone and aircon are all working now! So back to the gift, what did Ruy do exactly?

January — “Hon, on Feb. 14…” this was how Ruy started his sentence and I was so excited “Oh my God, he’s planning in advance” was the thought which popped into my head, imagine my chagrin when the next words out of his mouth were “…punta tayo sa Storyland, birthday nang anak ni _____ and it’s on a Sunday….”. Can you imagine how frustrating that is?

February 1-7 — Some time around this period he told me that he and his batch mates at work are going to have dinner on the 13th. I was already thrilled with this. I like going out and I know most of the people we’ll be with so I figured it should be fun.

February 8 — I told my Aunt that we’re going to have a Valentine’s date and we’re going to Annabel’s. We kinda snickered at the location cause it seemed like the kind of place old people go to.

February 8 - 12 — Tried on different kinds of looks using all sorts of lipsticks and I shadows….that was how excited I was.

February 12 — Ruy told me he needed to go to an affair at work cause someone’s leaving the office. I said ok. I needed one more day to practice my look for tomorrow’s dinner.

February 13 — We got to the resto early and Ruy and I stayed in the car to talk. I was crying cause I was feeling bad about something and I was having such a hard time making sure my eyeliner and mascara stayed on. We fixed our issues and went in.

I was surprised when they led us to a small enclosed room, sort of like a function room.

Ruy and I decided to check out their buffet which was quite a walk from our room. We decided to try their buffet and the waiter offered to set up a table near the buffet for us. When I brought the idea up to Ruy and his colleague they were both not up for it and so I just shut up and figured that at least I’ll lose some calories while walking to the buffet.

We had appetizers and after appetizers the men mysteriously disappeared. The ladies started talking and one girl hinted that there’s a surprise coming. I was shocked. Really? Wasn’t the fact that they set up this dinner already more than enough? (Ruy said my expectations were painfully low) No one knew what it was exactly though but one lady said she was forbidden to check her boyfriend’s mobile phone last week. I was curious but I figured it’s probably just flowers. Boy was I wrong.

The men went back carrying several musical instruments. They were going to serenade their wives? The first guy even had an emotional prose for his partner. Wow. I was chiding the next singer about having a dedication for his wife then I realized that Ruy was probably going to sing to and I really wasn’t ready for public declarations of love (I’m shy that way) so I shut up after that.

Ruy sang. I was happy. The entire thing reminded me of our first Valentine’s. He was singing a solo in one of their concerts in Ateneo and I surprised him by showing up. Now, 9 years after, I’m watching him sing again. It was really sweet.

I was giddy with happiness. Having your partner sing for you while surrounded by food from a buffet is as close to perfect as life could get. So we all ate dessert and suddenly the men disappeared again. Stupid me thought “Oh they’re probably smoking…” only to realize that none of those men actually smoked! They all walked in carrying roses. Awwwww….

Apparently one of the guys was tasked with going to Dangwa the night before, buying the flowers and transporting it to the resto. It was then revealed that Ruy’s affair the night before was their main practice session for their “gig”, I can’t believe I had no clue that something was going on!!

What exactly did I love about this entire thing? Let me enumerate:

1. That there was preparation and planning involved.
2. That they were ready to show their feelings to their partners in front of others. There were no machos in that group.
3. That Ruy’s friends value that kind of thing.
4. THE FOOD. Wahahaha
5. The talk in the car before the entire thing.

I have been having bouts of depression these past couple of weeks and it really takes a lot for me to kick myself in the rear and tell myself to get over it. I have, in the past 5 years, redefined myself to be an amazing employee. I found old notes from previous jobs and I realized how good I was in managing things. Now that I am not working I find myself practically without an identity. I need to redefine myself but I really don’t know how. Frankly, aside from my family and some friends, I don’t really like the other aspects of my life.

Ruy took the time around a month ago to remind me of how lucky I am with our family. We’re doing okay, I get to spend time with Andrea and according to Ruy “I’m still the same faithful guy as before”…so I should be extremely happy. Sad to say, emotions seldom follow logic and while I’m extremely happy some times, I become extremely sad a few moments after.

I decided last Sunday to approach my day to day life with the same vigor I did work. I started mapping out my days and my goals and by golly it made me feel invigorated. I LOVE IT!

I accomplished everything I set out to do yesterday but I’m sadly a few hours late today because Ruy left home late and because the internet went out for a couple of hours. I can’t believe how happy going down checklists make me feel. Am I abnormal?

I can’t believe she has the audacity to run for office. GUSTO KO SIYANG MURAHIN. How many other people running for office have the same mentality? What was she thinking? Does she think that all she needs is for people to know who she is and that would be enough for her to be qualified? What does she plan on doing once she’s elected?

If the video doesn’t work, the original is here Disgusting

2009 marked the year where Sabrina transitioned from being a toddler to being a kid.  She went through so many milestones this year and I can’t help but get emotional when I look back on all the changes.

Her social skills have improved dramatically in one year’s time. She still cannot be considered sociable now but those of us who have witnessed the changes know that she has changed dramatically. She started communicating with other people and is less agitated when faced with strangers.

Her communication skills are above average…but only when she’s talking to us. She still clams up when with strangers but WILL NOT SHUT UP when with me. She has started asking questions and absolutely hates it when I tell her I don’t know something. Her sentences have become more complex and she now likes associating new information with things she already knows….for example she told me that my bookmark looks like a lollipop or that a certain hat looks like a donut.

She has grown closer to my mom for some reason or another. She keeps wanting to go to my mom’s house and keeps talking about her grandma.  She is also idolizing my little sister (who’s turning 11!!!!), she would follow my sister around and copy whatever it is she’s doing.

She is now 3 ft 4 inches tall and has become a bit slimmer after she stopped drinking milk from the bottle.

She’s completely weaned from her bottle which lead to her being completely diaper free for the past 2 months…even at night!!  We put diapers on her when we go out but she refuses to use it and so we end up having to run to the nearest restroom so she can pee there. I decided that we’ve wasted enough diapers so last week I stopped using diapers even when we go out and I just say a little prayer that I might not be showered with pee that day.

She’s such  a good girl! She doesn’t throw tantrums, she obeys, she is not materialistic…I’m really so happy! I only hope we find out how she turned out that way so we can replicate it once baby number 2 comes…

My new year greeting to my favorite ladies went like this:

“Closing time every new beginning is some other new beginning’s end. Here’s to our wonderful new beginnings in 2010. I just know 2010 is going to be fabulous. Why? Because we freaking deserve it after everything we went through in 2009″

Yes, 2009 was difficult — very difficult! It’s not even just one event but just the combination of things which happened last year which made for one heart-wrenching year. 2009 made me question mortalities, moralities, friendships, relationships, parenting, and my self-worth.  It was as if God was telling me that he gave me so much and yet I’m still dissatisfied and ungrateful so he decided to shake things up a bit and show me just how much I had by taking a lot of things away.

The brutal method might have worked on me. The amount of difficulty in 2009 was tantamount to the lessons learned that same year. I think 2009 was a year of lessons not only for me but for most of my friends. I surely hope I learned the lessons 2009 wants to teach me because I sure as hell don’t want another beating like that of 2009.

I’m ready to for the fabulous like 2010…bring it on!

Ruy and I have been blessed with Andrea. Yes she’s a bitch and she has occassional tantrums as any normal two-year old would but she’s generally well adjusted and very disciplined. One thing which helped her I believe is the daily ritual she established with my grandmother. Unfortunately I am not very good with rituals and I felt that Andrea was not blossoming because of the lack of structure. Last week I gave schedules a try and boy did Andrea love it.

I generally wake up earlier than Andrea so that’s when I come up with her schedule. I try to think of our activities for the day and then draw them. Yes, DRAW. I needed Andrea to understand the schedule so we had to use drawings.  When Andrea wakes up we talk about the schedule and she reads/interprets it herself and she makes changes in case there are things she doesn’t like.

Let me tell you what this schedule is all about. 1. Eat cookies, 2. Swim in her wading pool,3. Bathe (yes that’s a soap, excuse my ugly drawing), 4.Practice writing.

Here’s page 2 of her schedule

Next is drinking milk in a cup with a straw, then watching TV, and then eating lunch.

Andrea adores her schedule. She makes sure to check each activity once it’s finished and I feel her days are better utilized. We’ve been doing it for around 8 days and so far she’s loving it. Let’s see if we can keep this up.

(p.s. I’ve started including words in the recent schedules as I plan on teaching her how to read soon)

I woke up at 3 in the morning and I haven’t been able to sleep since. Ruy is snoring softly here beside me and I got to thinking about how lucky I am to have found somebody I still genuinely liked and liked me back even after being together for 10 years and being on our 4th year of marriage. I thought I’d share some trivia about Ruy and myself.

• We still remember exactly what we wore on our first date together. He wore these HORRIBLE green shades. YES, they were GREEN! I told him after he looked like a fly. =)
• I kept on lying to Ruy about having watched movies already because I wasn’t comfortable watching movies with guys I didn’t know so well (oh ha, conservative!)
• Ruy and I were both dating other people when we met.
• When I was in highschool I made a list of non negotiables when it comes to the guy I’m going to marry. Ruy has everything on my list.
• Here’s my list: 1. Speaks English VERY WELL, 2. Really intelligent, preferrably smarter than me, 3. Treats drivers, yayas, vendors, well, 3. Religious, 4. Has a great relationship with mom and family, 5. Faithful, 6. Loves me more than I love him (courtesy of my mom), 7. Is not physically aggressive (with anyone but specifically with me)
• I used to ask God for signs and I made this prayer when I was 16 that if God has chosen a guy for me, this guy will sing a particular song for me. This song was not popular at that time (it was revived recently), it was an OPM song and was released in the 80s. Ruy sang the song to me even before we started dating. When I heard him sing the song I didn’t put two and two together instead, I was pissed and said “Damn, now I need to find a new song to turn into a sign”…only when we were engaged did I realize that the sign was given to me early on.
• The first 3 years of our relationship were CRAZY. Probably cause I had so many issues and I was crazy. I can’t believe Ruy didn’t leave me at that time.
• Ruy’s infamous line is “I’m not going to leave you just because you’re screwed up”
• In college, I would go to school with bruises up my arm because my little sister (who was a toddler at that time) would be biting me, etc. Everyone thought Ruy was beating me up.
• I once fell flat on the floor and had a big wound across my eyebrow…Ruy’s family thought he beat me.
• Contrary to what everyone seems to think…Ruy has never beaten me…intentionally. He has hit me while he’s sleeping…FREUDIAN?
• Ruy’s definition of dessert consist of eating another meal…
• Ruy claims he married me even if I didn’t know how to cook then because my lola’s excellent cooking more than makes up for my lack of cooking (bwisit!)
• Ruy and I are both happy staying at home or eating out. We just can’t do the bar scene or the party scene…we’re boring that way.
• When we reached our 4th year as a couple, breaking up started becoming a non-option. We would fight knowing that we’re just fighting about the issue but we weren’t going to separate…it made a world of difference in terms of our feeling of security within the relationship.
• We don’t check phones or emails…we both know each other’s passwords but looking at his email is just too tedious and too boring that I’m not even tempted to look
• I didn’t want to change my surname but that was the only thing Ruy was absolutely resolute about was that if we were going to marry then I had to get his surname, hyphens weren’t allowed either.
• We don’t curse or shout when fighting.
• Ruy’s exes all had beatiful voices…which is why I didn’t allow him to hear me sing up until we were married.
• Ruy’s very shy…he’s not even comfortable holding my hands when we’re with my family or with his family.
• Ruy’s MAKULIT. Sobra.

I LOVED DOING THIS. Made me feel all warm and mushy inside. =) Hey married people….tell me about your husbands.

I can’t get over how my daughter is so much like me. She really has my disposition and my innate ahm Bitchiness?

She and her yaya were playing with her megablocks and they made a toy dog. Here’s their conversation:

Yaya: What’s that?

Andrea: It’s a dog

Yaya: Is it Cinammon (Cinammon is my sister’s yorkshire terrier)?

Andrea: NOOOOOO

Yaya: Is it Sandy? (Sandy is little orphan Annie’s dog in the musical)

Andrea: NOOOO. Just a dog okay?

I couldnt’e believe she was responding in that way at 2 years old. May okay pa talaga sa huli eh.

This morning Ruy made my day by telling me that I’m doing an awesome job at being a house mom. The compliment came out of the blue and I was surprised and happy at the same time. I don’t know what prompted him to say that but I’m just going to take that compliment, my self-esteem needs it right now.

It’s always so hard to say if you are doing a good job as a mom. First, there is always that difficult balance between discipline and impinging a child’s creativity and freedom. Next, you are never really sure if you’re doing things because of your issues regarding your childhood or if it’s really best for your kids. Third, I’m not sure if this is the case for all but I have around 3 people breathing down my neck at all times telling me how I’m raising my kid wrongly and that doesn’t help a first-time mom at all.

I personally believe that the only way you would know that you did your job as a mom is by seeing: a. How well your kids treat others, b. How well your kid reacts to changes, c. How well your kids raise their own kids. So up until I can use those indicators I’ll take Ruy’s word and Andrea’s peals of laughter as a sign that I’m on the right track…somehow.

This is Andrea’s cabinet. Isn’t it so cute? Her walls are light lavender and I think the white and yellow stripes work beautifully with the walls. It gives the room a very playful feel.

The hardware we chose also added to the playfulness of the room. I chose swirly handles for this cabinet:

Aren’t they so cute? So with handles that cute, we needed equally cute drawer pulls right? I was looking for stars but I couldn’t find any so we settled for these:

As you all know we were one of the unfortunate victims of the flood. While most of our appliances worked fine, our furniture were not all as lucky. Our cabinets were all damaged. We’ve replaced some of them but some still need changing. Ruy’s mom was having things done in her house so she offered to have a cabinet made for Andrea.

2 weeks ago we all trooped to Ace Hardware to get everything we needed for the construction. We bought paint and hardware for the cabinet and that already cost over 1000 pesos. That didn’t even include the wood and the cost of the painter and carpenters. Sheesh. I have forgotten how expensive construction is. I was literally drooling with envy at the Ace Hardware coupons of the lady beside me. I WANT THOSE COUPONS! I can already imagine the things I’m going to have made if I had those coupons. It took every inch of my willpower not to grab them from her.  I’m drooling just imagining the savings and discounts those coupons would give us. Oh well…thsoe of you who want to give me something for Christmas, here’s a not so subtle hint =)

I’ll post pictures of the cabinet later. You’re going to love it. It’s cuteness personified…err cabinet-i-fied.

There are so many life lessons happening in my life right now. I feel like this is my rebirth. I have to reflect on everything negative that has happened to me and see what life lesson I can learn from them. I need to do this devoid of emotions and ego.

Ruy drives me crazy sometimes but he’s really such a big blessing. He’s really helping me through this period and I can’t help but thank God for choosing this guy for me.

My daughter now responds to Sabrina. I have been calling her Sabrina and she seems to like it better than Andrea. Yay.  She’s growing up so fast. I am now trying to be more strict in terms of disciplining her but it’s getting harder. She’s becoming as stubborn as I am.

This morning I heard screaming and crying. I went to the sala where Sabrina was and she ran up to me crying. She was wailing and saying “Nian (that’s her yaya’s name) said NO”.  Now this is not a rare conversation between Sabrina and myself, she hates it when we say no and ends up upset specially when it’s her yaya saying no. Usually I don’t interfere cause I don’t want to undermine her yaya’s authority. I believe that for Sabrina to be disciplined everyone has to be on the same page. I usually tell her “You’re sad because Nian said no? Why don’t you talk to Nian and tell her what you want”….this way she knows that she has to talk to the person who’s upset with her and she won’t get out of trouble just by running to someone else. This morning was different though, I had to interfere. Sabrina took her blue crayon and scribbled all over the floor of the sala and her bedroom. I’m not talking about small lines but I’m talking about major graffiti!

I sat her down and explained in a very angry voice that crayons are for papers only (oh and trust me we’ve had this conversation before). I then told her that yes, Nian is mad because she’s not supposed to do what she just did. I then took her with me and told her she can’t play anymore cause she has to help Mommy clean the crayons. She followed! So there we were holding wipes while scrubbing away on the floor. Thank goodness the doodles came off very easily.

I know that this is partly our fault. Why would you leave a toddler with a crayon and without any paper. Of course she’s going to doodle. I just really wanted to teach her about consequences…she needed to know that when she does things she’s not supposed to then there’ll be uncomfortable events after.

TRUST ME, no toddler was harmed during the entire thing. =)

So speaking of Sabrina I am loving her at this stage. She’s becoming independent and quite funny. Here are some random things about her:

- She can be quite OA…she says things like “How will we ever find it?”…OA di ba?

- She’s so headstrong. Aaarrrgghhh

- She’s like me, she ignores everyone around her when she’s not in the mood.

- She loves me sooo much. hahaha. YIHEE! I’m her favorite. =)

- Knows her ABC’s, planets, colors, shapes (thanks to my mother-in-law she knows trapezium, sphere, oblong, etc) and can count from 1-30 in English, and 1-10 in spanish. She can also count backwards. 

- She can count things in her head. Ask her how many balls are on the table she can look at it very quickly and tell you how many there are.

- Sometimes she will give you the wrong answer because she likes it when people say “Noooooo” …

- She drinks one cup of fresh milk a day, one cup of choco milk then she eats yoghurt. That’s it. BYE formula!! Can you imagine the savings?

- She hates brushing her hair. We have crying fests everyday because of it. Crazy!!!

- She likes choosing. She chooses her breakfast, her snacks sometimes even her lunch or dinner. When we’re in the grocery and I can’t decide which brand to take I just ask her and she happily chooses for me. =)

- She’s a very simple girl with very simple likes. She doesn’t go crazy over toys. She likes books.

- She only watches a couple of shows on TV (Blues Clues, Olivia the Pig, Dora, Pocoyo, Mickey Mouse). She’s starting to sound like those shows she watches…her expressions are priceless. From “Oh my”, to “Oh dear”, to “Oh my goodness”. Hahaha

- Despite being stubborn like me she’s still a very well-behaved girl. Ruy and I have been trying really hard to make sure she doesn’t end up becoming a spoiled brat. She’s the first grandchild on both sides and you can just imagine how much she’s doted on and so the risk of becoming spoiled is very high.

All in all, Sabrina’s doing well. I know Ruy and I will be faced with more challenging years in terms of discipline but I really believe that if you start the discipline early then the next couple of years will be easier for everyone.

Saw this in Leah’s blog. It looked interesting and I haven’t done anything like this in a while so I thought I’d give it a try.

A- Advocate for: beating mediocrity in life.

B- Best Feature: physically my nose (I can’t believe how petty that sounds)

C- Could do without: fats!! wahahah

D- Dreams and desires: more security, another child, a house that doesn’t get flooded

E- Essential items: FOOD and chocolate. I just need to point out that I had to single out chocolate because I believe chocolate is above and beyond FOOD.

F- Favorite past time: reading, playing with Andrea, talking/chatting with friends (the smart ones, hahaha)

G- Good at: strategizing…

H- Have never tried: drugs, and I don’t intend to try it ever.

I- If I had a million dollars: I’d be happy…oh and I’d be helping people. Heaven knows how many people I know need help

J- Junkie for: chocolate

K- Kindred spirit: Ruy

L- Little known fact: I can remain expressionless during meetings but not during conversations with friends.

M- Memorable moment: Giving birth to Sabrina and the flood last September 26

N- Never again will I: be flooded in….please God!

O- Occasional indulgence: Ninyo =) a restaurant Ruy and I both adore

P- Profession: ahmmm…talk to me again in a couple of months. =)

Q- Quote: “It’s better to be boldly decisive and risk being wrong than to agonize at length and be right too late.” ~ Marilyn Moats Kennedy

R- Reason to smile: Andrea’s developments, my relationship with Ruy, my relationship with my family and my very young relationship with God.

S- Sorry about: hurting the people I love most. I have done this several times either intentionally or unintentionally…why do we do this?

T- Things you are worrying about right now: The coming typhoon….the future

U- Uninterested in: anime

V- Very scared of: another flood

W- Worst habits: Errr…I don’t know. Annoying people?

Y- Yummiest dessert: I love my choco chip cookies and the truffles Ruy got me for my birthday.

X- X marks my ideal vacation spot: Greece.

Z- Zodiac sign: Leo

I don’t have a lot of books at home. I probably have 10 pieces, tops. I left all my books in my lola’s house and what do you know…her house was also waist deep in flood. I know I lost hundreds of books from textbooks to novels to coffee table books. I can’t remember all the books I lost but these are some which I remember.

- My psych textbooks
- Complete Harry Potter Collection. All hard bound, all first edition.
- Twilight…
- My self-help books.
- My business and management books….ulk. These are so expensive!
- My Jane Austen books. I have over 15 of these. You see I love Jane Austen so much I would buy the same book as long as the publisher and/or the cover is different. Sigh.
- A coffee table book featuring the best art works from the Louvre.

=( I know these are all material things but I can’t help but feel bad. Maybe this is the first step to my simplifying my life.

There was a time when my biggest problem was how to get rid of acne or what to wear to school. A few weeks ago I was faced with a devastating problem — Ondoy.

In hindsight, I know Ruy, Andrea and I were very lucky. Our homeowner’s association really took care of us, We received more relief goods than we knew what to do with (I gave them to my former driver and one of the janitor’s at work) and we were all alive. I didn’t feel so lucky when it was all happening though. I seriously thought we were going to die. It reached the point when I was already trying to figure out how to make sure Andrea would stay alive if ever Ruy and I died.

I know it’s over, I know we’re lucky but I still feel my heart pounding at the slightest sign of rain. I always wonder what if…what if we’re not as lucky next time?

I’ve always kept my spiritual life as private as possible. I have never been comfortable with discussing these things with anyone — not my family, not my friends, not even my husband.

I have always found myself turned off by people who become too preachy about their faith. Faith for me is private, it’s personal. It’s very strange therefore, that I am writing about praying/prayers. I guess I am just overwhelmed by the changes that I felt the need to share.

Prayer. I never really knew how to pray. This is a weird statement coming from a woman who spent more than half her life in Catholic Schools.  Technically of course, I knew how to pray. I knew the important prayers, I have written prayers for the whole school to pray. When it comes to my personal prayers though, I struggle.

I never know just what I should be praying about and how exactly. I used to find things too petty to bring up with God. I guess I imagined God to be like a boss who has so many things on his plate and cannot be bothered with all the other trivial things. There are also times when I’m praying and I’m wondering if I’m asking too much and if I’m dictating God, etc, etc, etc. 

I was reading this book called Love Dare (which is linked to the movie Fireproof - a Christian movie about marriage) and it said something to this effect.

- When your husband does something that annoys you or that irritates you pray about it. Offer it up to God. We’re often arrogant enough to think that we can change people’s attitudes, habits, personalities just by nagging them or by getting upset. It doesn’t work that way. We need God’s help. Pray about it.

This is something new to me. I never thought about doing that but I figured, what the hell. Let’s give it a try.

The thing that was annoying me at that time was how Ruy was at home. (I usually don’t like airing dirty laundry but I need to be specific to prove a point) I felt that Ruy didn’t spend enough quality time with Andrea.  (this WAS my FEELING. i don’t know if it was true or not at that time) So instead of nagging him, I prayed about it. I realized that the good thing about praying about it is it allows you to get the weight of your chest. After praying about it I felt a bit better and by the next day I’ve forgotten about it. Ruy surprised me when out of the blue he said “You know what. I’ve been thinking. I’m going to make a resolution. Starting today I’m going to change. I’m going to become the person I really want to be. I’ll start by making more time for Andrea”

I WAS BLOWN AWAY.  That one incident started my transformation. I started praying more. Sometimes more than once a day. Sometimes in the middle of the day out of sheer happiness I close my eyes and thank God for my awesome daughter. I thank God for the support of my mom, my aunt, my grandmother.  And I ask for things.  And so many more little miracles have been happening.

Not all my prayers have been answered. I don’t really care. I know they will be in a way that’s best for me.

A few months after leaving my job I have become a very different person. I love myself again. I am proud of the things I do on a daily basis. I’m proud of how well Andrea’s growing under my care. I’m proud of cooking for my family. I’m proud of  the fact that I’m praying more. I have grown more in love with my family, my life, my extended family, my in-laws, my God. I am jaded no more. I hope this won’t change when I join a new company.

Throughout my adolescent years my mother was a sort of antagonist in my life and now that I myself am a mom I find myself seeing her in a different light. Cliche? Maybe, but it’s definitely true for me. One thing I have forgotten is just how funny my mom is — in her own little odd way.

Last Monday while having dinner my sdad wondered aloud why the smaller fish called Biya (which we were eating) had eggs while the bigger ones didn’t. My mom replied saying “Ah ganun ba? Ewan ko kung bakit di naman ako Biya”. I found this so funny that I almost snorted my dinner through my nose. My thought bubble was “OMG that’s so freaking funny. I’ve forgotten how funny my mom is”

I wonder if Andrea will realize that her mom is funny too — in her own little odd way.

It was beautiful and peaceful…haaay.

My birthday came and went without much ado. It was a nice and peaceful day and my celebration would be coming today and on Friday.

I was so surprised by the number of greetings I received this year. I have been cocooned in my house for almost a month that I thought for sure no one would ever remember my birthday (or me for that matter). Thank goodness for Facebook birthday reminders huh? =)

Andrea greeted me!!! Several times actually. Sometimes she’d say the complete phrase “Happy Birthday Mommy”…other times she’d be trying to say everything in a second or two and it would come out sounding like “Hubedei Mommy”….beautiful.

Spending your birthday at home as an adult is humbling. You realize that the world goes on just as it normally does on your birthday…no change. I’m not as special as I thought I was after all.

I reflected a lot and I realize I have the best support group in my family — immediate and extended. I’m so lucky to be born and married into these families.

I watched the Princess Bride on my birthday. Why? I wanted something light and that’s what I had lying around. I really enjoyed it. I laughed so hard when I realized the Inigo Montoya is Mandy Patinkin! OMG! Gideon from Criminal Minds? HILARIOUS!!

May the soul of our former president Cory Aquino rest in peace. I hope she somehow saw the outpouring of concern and love coming from everyone. I don’t know if she knew of the yellow ribbons tied around villages, cars, offices –even profile pics on the internet! But if she did, she would know that she made an impact on the lives of people.

RIP Mrs. Aquino.

I have been eating like crazy lately. Blame it on the fact that I know how to cook now (I cooked edible versions of Bistek, Mechado, Stir Fry and Sinigang) and that Ruy spoils me like crazy with all the food I want. Waaaah. And I wanted to get back in shape during my break. Damn it! I wish there was a way to burn fat while eating foie gras or chicharong bulaklak I would totally follow it.

So I took a 2 week break. When I mean break I mean BREAK! I met up with friends, went shopping, went on trips, spent time with my family. I did all of that and more. I think it’s time to start going back to my old normal. I need to start being productive again (as you can see from my posts, I am doing just that =)). This week I will finalize my resume, contact head hunters and start applying here and there.

I will also get my two blogs back in good condition. Enough trips to the mall for me….=)

Another one makes THE list. The list of things I want but don’t really need. I have a long list of these things and the latest addition? digital camcorders! I came across the latest ones while searching for ipods earlier and I can’t help but lust over them.

Experience tells me thought that I’m not really someone who would be using camcorders generally. I know people who are brilliant with them but I’m not one of ‘em. We had 2 before and they were practically always inside the cabinet and rarely do they have battery when we need them.

Last night, I talked to Ruy about my iPod dilemma. I told him why I think we need it for Andrea and the pros and cons for the different models. He then told me that there are other options. Like a cheaper brand of mp3 player or maybe a portable dvd players.

This morning I went through different electronic websites such as Circuit City (our bible for all things electronic), cd r king (for cheaper mp3 players) and even eBay.

I have not even finished going through the sites when I found out that Ruy got me an iPod already!! OMG….it will be here tonight. =) Woohoo!!

Last night, while at my mom’s house, Andrea bumped her forehead somewhere on my sister’s bed. She looked at me whiel rubbing her forehead. I asked her “Andrea are you okay?” she looked at me intently and said “Are you okay ‘in the name of the father’?”

Wahaha. I laughed so hard. From now on, the forehead will now be called “in the name of the father”

We have always teased my mother about her hypochondriasis.  Ever since I was a kid my mother has been spouting of names of diseases left and right. My mom has also undergone practically every common medical test out there. CT Scan, MRI, ECG, she even undergone a cytokenesis and karyotyping for her bone marrow. BEAT THAT!!

How obsessed is my mother with this? She has medical dictionaries containing thousands and thousands of reading…and she reads this for fun. I bet that she can even debate on mesothelioma with the Mesothelioma lawyers out there.

Now, my sister seems to be following her footsteps.  As a kid when my sister would get hurt she would start crying and ask “Am I going to die?”, strange reaction from a 5-year old huh? Now, whenver she would eat a lot of something she would ask if she would develop cancer or any other scary disease. It’s a bit funny and slightly disturbing as well.

…fever that is. Andrea has been watching Annie for almost 18 months now and the obsession has not dwindled. Not one little bit. I don’t understand how something she has seen over 100 times can still be exciting to her. Yes, she sometimes still giggles while watching Annie.

I wonder how much longer this is going to last because my DVD is beginning to buckle under the constant use.

90% of the people I know own an iPod and I have never felt the urge/compulsion to own one — until now. I am preparing for our beach trip, the first long trip we’re taking with Andrea and I need something handy which can keep Andrea entertained for hours.  I am anticipating waiting for hours for our flight, the ferry, etc. and travelling with a (very heavy and) cranky toddler is not really something pleasant.

So the first question would be if I should buy an iPod or not?

Then, if I should buy an iPod nano or an iPod Touch.  I really don’t care much for the apps of the iPod touch. I don’t think I’d be using it a lot, what I like about it though is the size of the screen and the fact that Andrea will be able to watch movies without having to wear earphones. I don’t think she’d take to kindly to earphones. The iPod nano on the other hand is cheaper, smaller and just exactly what I need…save for the fact that the lcd is the size of a postage stamp and that Andrea can’t listen to something without the earphones.

What to do, what to do? Who knew choosing ipods would be so complicated. I’ll update you once I’ve made my decision. =)

My resignation technically takes effect on the 6th of August but I was luckily allowed to leave earlier. In effect, I have been staying-at-home (or in malls) for over two weeks now. You would think that office furniture would be the last thing I would be checking out but the thought of converting a little corner in our room into a home office is nagging me.

Should I?

We went to Ocean Park last week and Andrea really enjoyed the experience. She particularly liked the starfish and actually held and attempted to carry one away. Here she is posing with the sting ray

Around 3 years ago I consulted an endocrinologist for my hormonal problems. He gave me a cocktail of drugs and diet pills which helped me reach a healthier weight in record time. As timing would have it though, I got pregnant and all thoughts of dieting flew out of the window.

An old colleague, Numi, has the same condition I have and is now undergoing treatment and hearing her stories inspired me to give this treatment another try…this time without getting pregnant yet. =) It’s quite pricey but I know I should do it.

It’s been 10 days since I left my job and I’m slowly getting used to life at home. I found myself cooking several days in a row. Can you believe that? The food was actually okay, I think I can attribute this to the fact that I was calling my grandmother every 30 seconds or so for instructions.

–0–

Andrea developed so much while I was here. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the constant communication we have while I’m here.

She suddenly sang the alphabet by herself. I had no idea she memorized it. From A-Z. She has never sung it before. I realized that Andrea is a perfectionist and will not do anything unless she knows she can do it perfectly. No one has heard her sing her alphabet so we just assumed she didn’t know the song. She would continue watching and listening to the video playing the alphabet song but she’ll never sing along. I was content with her being able to identify her flashcards until 3 days ago she started singing along. I caught part of it on video and I’ll post it on my multiply in a couple of days.

–0–

Andrea has become even closer to me now that I’m around her practically 24 hours a day. This is how we watch TV now.

Doesn’t that warm your heart? (Thanks Ruy for that photo) Please ignore my uncombed hair and eyebags. Focus on the emotions…wahahah

While I love this closeness I’m a bit afraid for her. I don’t know how she’ll be adjusting when I do decide to join the corporate world again.

–0–

I miss my old boss.

I daydream as much as I breathe. This is something I can say for sure. My daydreams range from detailed descriptions of my desires–such as mags for my dream car or glass tiles
and wooden furniture for my dream home– to pulling the hair of the person I don’t like. Yes…my dreams are a great source of solace and joy…I just realized now that as fun as my dreams are, reality is even better.

I have the most amazing daughter. It’s amazing how her personality perfectly complements mine. AMAZING.

I have GREAT friends. I am not very sociable. I normally keep to myself and I find it amazing that I somehow found these awesome friends.

My inlaws are great. They adore my daughter and they’re supportive of me and Ruy. I really can’t ask for better inlaws

My family, while being irritating and intrusive, is a major source of strength and security. These are people who will support you through ANYTHING.

Lastly, my husband. We have been arguing more lately. You see, when you put Olivia at home for a long period of time you get an irritable Olivia. That is why we somehow keep on snapping at each other. It’s amazing though how easy it has become for us to smile and patch things up. Ruy has also replaced my grandmother and has become my number one fan.

Looking at that…everything else becomes gravy. Although I would still want those glass tiles for my bathroom =)

Strange things have been happening in my universe. It’s as if leaving my company has cause a disturbance in the force and now things are all out of whack.

- I was somehow able to accidentally give myself an upper cut. It all happened so fast and I don’t understand how or why I did it.

- My water bill just arrived and my amount due is — Php -537.29. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? This becomes doubly puzzling when you find out that my water bill last month was Php - 30.87. Once again…how could this happen?

- I asked God for signs regarding work. I’ve prayed really hard about this for the past month or so…I didn’t get a sign. I got a firm hand on my wrist leading me away.

- I am now free to play FB games all day…but I don’t want to.

At around 9:30pm last night, I found myself staring at some middle-aged guy’s ass for almost 5 minutes.

I could have, at any time, looked away or at least focused on something else. But somehow the fact that he was cycling in front of me wearing an almost indecent pair of hot pants, paired with the fact that his butt crack was positioned directly at my eye level made it impossible to look away.

I now know what people feel when they see crime scenes. It’s gross, disgusting, disturbing and wrong yet you can’t look away.

I was in my car together with my sleeping daughter and her yaya and I found myself cursing and shouting yet still looking. It’s so sick.

Got this from Ben. My results were eerily accurate so I thought of looking at Ruy’s as well.

Here’s mine (which is practically 98% accurate)

You Were Born into the Water Element

You are an open, receptive person who values communication. You believe in staying flexible. You are thoughtful and philosophical. You are still trying to figure out the meaning of your life.You have to watch out for your own judgments. You often change your mind, and you should avoid clinging to dogma. You are calm and passive. You don’t rush to make things happen in your life. You accept things as they are.

And this is Ruy’s (very accurate as well)

You Were Born into the Earth Element

You are a responsible person who values the joys of working hard. You are practical, stable, and (obviously) down to earth. You have to watch out for boredom. Your life needs more romance, adventure, friendship, and fun. You are a solid friend and an ideal partner. You are honest, nurturing, and loyal.

I am forever grateful that Ruy and I have our own house already at this stage in our lives. I know we’re very lucky in this sense and that we really have a lot to be thankful for.

I can’t help but long for a bigger house every once in a while so I can have this:

Ruy spends so much time in the kitchen and having something like this would practically turn our kitchen into a family area where we can all hang out.

I also want this:

A wonderful walk in closet which can contain all of Ruy’s junk…hehehe yes, all Ruy. Then I would want to have an exercise room where we can have great exercise equipment which we now WILL USE…wahahah. I want this in particular.

Oh well…soon Olivia, soon.

I am giving myself 2 more months of trying to control my intake and exercising and then I’m going to raise the white flag and I’ll try to look into appetite suppressants already. I was given one 3 years ago by my endocrinologist in order to aid in my hormonal therapy and it was extremely effective for me. It may not be the cheapest thing on earth but I really can’t put a price on health can I?

This morning I met up with fellow moms I bonded with through PLURK. It was such a wonderful experience…rarely do I have the chance to interact with people who are at the same point in life as I am. People who ask the same questions (to praise or not to praise, to spank or not to spank, another kid now?) and who are faced with the same challenges.

We enjoyed ourselves so much we ended up chatting from 12-4pm. Yikes! Till next time ladies.

My daughter is a little, ahmmm, unique. She loves painting and coloring but for the past couple of days she has been insisting on using only the color white while painting on white paper. I could not believe she was wasting paper that way….was the paper not white enough?

I also tried to let her finger paint but the moment she feels the sticky paint on her hands she gets grossed out and shouts “Eww, eww, clean hands”. She also gets disgusted when her teacher tried putting stamps on her hands using custom rubber stamp. You should have seen the look on her face! It was hilarious.  I really don’t get it because the custom rubber stamp had the image of her favorite clown, Gymbo but she just didn’t want anything to do with it. So different from me, I loved putting stamps on my body when I was a kid.

So many people have said that a couple who laughs together stays together longer than those who don’t. If this is true, Ruy and I have gained a few more years of togetherness after laughing our asses off last night while watching this video (and others like it)

The Grind, Les Mills Body Jam, Belly Dancing, Hiphop Abs, Winsor Pilates — what do all of these have in common? They are all exercise videos I have tried at home in the hopes of one day going back to my weight when I was a teenager.

So far nothing was addictive enough for me. I saw another one, which I think is an emerging trend using Kettlebell (it’s almost like a dumbell but it has handles) and it’s called Kettleworx. It promises long, lean muscles which is exactly what I need…will I be able to do this regularly?

Ruy has, in the simplest and most ordinary ways, made me feel that I am his first priority. I can’t put my finger on the specific thing he did but in his own little ways he made me feel so special this week.

–0–
Last Saturday, Ruy announced that he downloaded a movie for us to watch on Father’s day. It’s about a girl who’s in jail cause she killed the husband, the girl was set free but was placed on house arrest. The problem is the ghost of the guy is in their home and he wants to kill the wife.

After Ruy explained that to me, our conversation went something like this:

Liv: Wow. What a heartwarming story Ruy. It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy about relationships.
Ruy: It teaches you lessons.
Liv: And what, pray tell, are these lessons?
Ruy: That you shouldn’t anger your husband cause his ghost will haunt you.
Liv: I think it teaches you not to anger your wife because she will kill you and turn you into a ghost…

–0–
Before getting married, I came up with a list of rules for Ruy. These are basically things he shouldn’t do while driving. Everything on that list came from things he has indeed done in the past. The list includes (but is not limited to)

1. Closing his eyes while driving
2. Pretending to sleep on my shoulder while driving
3. Dancing (this was further broken down into the different types of dances)
4. Tickling me

He now claims that this list does not apply any more cause this was something we agreed on before we were married. Now that we’re married, the contract has been broken. =( Haaay.

Can you ever really have it all? Can anyone at one time claim that they’re happy with every single aspect of their life?

I was tagged by Numi so I’ll be doing what she did in her blog which is basically listing down things we ALWAYS have at home.

1. Mess — hehehe

2. Wipes — Andrea uses several brands our new favorite is the SM Bonus brand. It’s cheap, thick and the smell is quite nice! I personally always have a pack of SoSoft Peppermint Refreshing Wipes in my bag.

3. Hand Wash — We use the house brand from Watson’s…particularly the Magnolia scent.

4. Medicine — we have tums, imodium, mefenamic acid, paracetamol, vitamins for the yaya, and yes even a diet pill or two. Ruy and I have a mini drugstore. 

5. Hershey’s Choco Powder - I use this for baking and for making choco mousse. =) Yum yum

6. Baking Stuff - Cake Flour, AP Flour, Confectionnaire’s Sugar, Brown Sugar, White Sugar, Honey, Cream of Tartar, Baking Soda, Baking Powder. You name it we have it.

7. Spices and other insane ingredients - Ruy is CRAZY about this.  He likes knowing we have everything we need for anything we feel like cooking. Rice wine vinegar, Red Wine Vinegar, Mirin, Hoisin, Fennel, the crazier it is the greater chance that we have it.

8. Baby Stuff - for Andrea of course.

9. TV Shows and Movies - Ruy’s obsessed. He panics when we don’t have new dvds or new downloads.

Wow, that’s it. We’re low maintainance pala!

It’s early in the morning and in a few minutes I’ll have to get ready for work. My emotions about going to work today are a bit complicate. On one hand I am excited cause I have a lot to do and on the other hand I am dreading having to go to work because…I HAVE A LOT TO DO!

This is one of my greatest regrets to date. I was looking at our company’s website and one thing the executives have in common is that they all have degrees in either finance or accounting. Look at the list of the highest paid jobs out there and you can be sure that jobs in finance top the list.

As if those things I stated earlier is not enough for me to fully regret my choice in courses. My team is now in charge of a lot of things related to Billing and I am pretty sure knowing some thing about finance would have been able to help me a lot. Grrr…

I spent some time with my family this week and I was once again reminded of how annoying they are and at the same time how much I love them and vice versa.

It’s sad that I had to get married and be away from them before I realized how loved I was at home.

It’s also somehow ironic how the more I spend time with my family the more I realize that they don’t know me very well. I am always going to be “odd” even in my family. Ruy knows me much better than my family does. Is that normal?

The way I act, the way I speak, the way I think, the songs I listen to and the food I eat are all considered “weird” by my family. I think that’s weird.

A few weeks ago (in Plurk) I talked about the feeling of sadness which rushes over me when I start removing my make up.  I was accused of PMS-ing and of being overly dramatic (duh people as if you didn’t know this already) but no one ever said they too felt the same way. I wonder if that feeling is normal?

I grew up looking fairly normal. I’ve never had huge skin problems nor did I ever require treatment for acne. I consider myself okay looking but there are times when I find myself gross and disgusting. I heard that Dawn Zulueta feels the same way sometimes so I guess I’m not entirely alone in this situation.

The interesting thing for me is that I have gained so much weight now but I have so much less of these situations. I felt more disgusting when I weighed just right. I felt more disgusting when I was dating around and there were more men who say I looked pretty. Why is that?

Now, when I look in the mirror, I like what I see. I like the person staring back at me. Do you?

A topic circulating amongs the moms in plurk is that of dads not spending enough time with their kids. Time of course does not mean watching TV together but it means actually doing things together.

Ruy has always been very willing to help out with Andrea but I have  a feeling that it’s not enough. Andrea is currently obsessed with me so whenever I’m around she ends up going to me. The solution was for Ruy to be solely responsible for Andrea for 2 whole days a week. (we only have 6 days a week, our Mondays start very early and end very late) So I get 2 working days, he gets two working days and we share the weekends.

Ruy had two days this week and I must say that both he and Andrea are now hooked on each other. It’s extremely heart warming!

I still have so much I want to do and want to have. I don’t know if I’m being greedy but there are just so many things I want.

1. A bigger house. (with the corresponding money to maintain it of course) I want one with a big yard where Andrea can run to her heart’s content. I also want a short office area for me…plus a nice nice kitchen for Ruy.

2. A big time vacation or a cruise for Ruy and myself.  We’ve never gotten around to going anywhere fun since we’ve gotten married. I’m not sure if I will have the heart to leave Andrea for a long period of time so this one is not so urgent.

3. A day with Mac (my favorite stylist) with nice hair color, hair cut, manicure, pedicure, etc. I somehow feel guilty every time I plan on going to a salon. I feel like that should be time I’m spending with Andrea. It’s sick I know.

4. MONEY!! Sometimes I just want to take my entire family and Ruy’s family out on a trip…but I can’t afford to do that. It’s so frustrating.  Sometimes I see people who need huge amounts of money and I can’t give it to them…that frustrates me too.

5. Good food! Well I eat good food every weekend but you can never have enough of this …hehehe

Hmmm, this wishlist is kinda short.

Ruy and I were engaged for 2 years before we finally got married. It’s not like it was something we rushed into. We talked and talked and talked a lot before settling down. We attended seminars and read books on marriage and relationships. With that being said, I would have to say that we had absolutely no idea what we were getting ourselves into when we got married.

A lot of people who are thinking of getting married do so with a feeling of invincibility. Yes, they know that a lot of married couples have problems but they also think that they are somehow going to be exempt from these problems. “Oh it’s not going to happen to us cause we respect each other” , “Oh we’re deeply in love and we won’t make those mistakes”…etc, etc, etc. To a certain degree, I too felt that way.

The first 2 years of our married life (at least for me) was a series of reality checks peppered with some rude awakenings.  There were no skeletons in the closet, no huge drama it was just REAL LIFE.

I guess all those disney movies and romantic movies condition you into expecting bells to ring every time you kiss. And when they don’t, you get frustrated and disappointed.

I was frustrated, disappointed, annoyed. You name the negative emotion, I probably felt it. It took me a while before I realized that I was approaching our marriage with a completely wrong mindset. With the help of 2 books (Getting the Love you Want by Dr. Harville Hendrix and 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman) I was able to view my feelings and my relationship with Ruy in a new light.

3 years into our married life and I would have to say that I love Ruy more now than I did when we got married. Each day I’m realizing what a nice person Ruy really is. Nice is such an overused adjective and I’m not sure if it even conveys what I want to say. Basically Ruy is just a good good person and I’m just really blessed that somehow amidst the insanity of my youth, I found someone like him.

My friend Dee left a comment asking about Andrea’s milestones to date. I realized that I haven’t done this in months. I was starting to feel guilty when it dawned on my that I have excuses err reasons for not doing so.

First, the milestones for Andrea’s age are more abstract and less ‘tangible’. It’s harder to actually point them out. Next, I’ve stopped caring so much. I have listed down my goals for Andrea and being advanced is not one of them. My goals are for her to feel secure, feel loved, well-adjusted, simple (not materialistic) and happy. I have focused so much on these that I’ve practically forgotten to think about her milestones. I have read several times that kids who were advanced as kids did not exactly have higher iQs than those who were considered delayed. Lastly, I only check for her delays now. Why? Because if she has any developmental delay it’s the best time to have it checked and to have therapy.

The purpose of this blog though is to make sure Andrea can also read about her development when she grows up. (Oh and also to learn how insanely in love her parents are over her) So I will try to document Andrea’s most recent milestones now.

1. She converses well. Although it seems it’s only Yaya and I who can understand her 98% of the time. She speaks in sentences sans the articles and the prepositions.  For example “Man carry baby”. 
2. She still refers to herself in the 3rd person. “Give Andea purple crayon”
3. She knows all the colors, all the letters, knows how to count in English and Spanish. Can name the planets and can label the pictures of the planets.
4. Her gross motor skills are great. She can climb up and down the stairs. She can hoist herself up 8 steps on a vertical ladder. She can hang on the monkey bar for around 3 seconds.
5. She is daring when she is with me, Ruy and the yaya. But clams up when there are other people there.
6. She shows restraint already. She understands when you ask her to wait. She understand when you say no. (I think this is the best development ever).
7. Fine motor skills are not as good. She can use the fork for soft solid objects. She can put coins through the tiny slot of her coin box. She can’t button or zip yet.
8. She understands the concept of making a decision. I am terribly excited about this and teaching her has not been easy. I started out making her choose 1 minute clips to watch. Then she is ‘forced’ to sit through the show she chose even if she changes her mind in the middle. The shows grew longer to 6-7 minutes. Until now she chooses movies she wants to watch and sits through her choice for 2 hours. (In the past, when she would change her mind I would tell her. Okay, you can watch that AFTER you finish this show)
9. Pretend play is more active now. She loves plastic toy animals and makes them “eat” “ride the boat” “sleep” “dance”, etc.  She once put her plastic circle on her head and started running around saying she’s an Angel who’s flying.
10. She has mastered doing #2 in her potty (she started this quite early). I love seeing her sad face every time she says “Mommy poo poo”. I don’t know why she looks sad.
11. She still doesn’t use the past tense.
12. Has the funniest exclamations. “Oh no!” “Oh boy!” “Oh man” “Nice!”"Alright!” She doesn’t always use them correctly too!
13. She follows directions like “Get the box, it’s on top of the red doll”
14. Is extremely curious about glasses and mirrors. She would spend minutes in front of them, put her hands on the other side and get all confused.
15. She’s become a bit more patient with reading. Although she prefers pointing out things over listening to the story.
16. She somehow finds her nighttime prayer funny. She would be giggling everytime we get to “Amen”

Got this from babycenter.com. Here’s a list of the things 2 year olds generally are able to do.

Point to an object that you name.

Recognize the names of familiar people, objects, and body parts.

Use short phrases and two- to four-word sentences.

Follow simple instructions.

Repeat words he overhears.

Find an object even if you hide it under two or three blankets.

Sort objects by shape or color. –> not yet. I tried guiding her but she’s not interested at all

Play make-believe.

So there you go, these are her milestones. I think it would take me another 6 months before I post the next one. Ciao!

2 nights ago Andrea asked to be put on her high chair so she can color her books. I carried her to the chair, zipped her up and sat on the sofa.

I was watching her from across the room when I realized that her foot goes way beyond the foot rest of the highchair and her head extends way beyond the back rest. Andrea looked terribly out of place in that baby apparatus. I can deny it all I want but I know that she is slowly becoming a little girl.

I felt a bit panicky upon this realization. I have mastered the art of being a mother to baby Andrea but I’m not sure I know what it means to be a mother to a little girl. I don’t know if I know how, I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I’m ready.

I am 26 years old. What business do I have raising a little girl? I’m practically still a little girl and God knows I still haven’t learned all the lessons I should have learned from my childhood.

I used to console my fears about motherhood by saying that there are so many stupid people out there who are able to raise kids, I should be able to do the same. The problem is I don’t want to raise Andrea like a stupid person would. I am not satisfied with just barely raising her. I want to raise her with values, with morals, with faith. How do I do that when I’m not even sure how much of those things I have (if any at all?).

I’m scared. I don’t know if I’m the best person for this job, problem is I am the only person for this job.

Songs play an important part in my life believe it or not. I am not very picky when it comes to songs. I just like songs with lyrics I can relate to…that’s it. I don’t care about the genre or the nuances…just give me words.

Let me talk about some things related to songs:

• Do you remember the song Never Ever? It was sung by All Saints sometime in the 90s. There’s a short monologue which goes like this “A few questions that I need to know, how you could ever hurt me so?….”. Somehow, everytime I sing this I find myself doing so in my awful British accent. It’s horribly embarrassing.
• You would know how my work day was when you listen to the songs playing while I drive home.
• When I’m terribly stressed I belt out to U2 Elevation while driving.
• I used to hate country but now love Carrie Underwood.
• I have this annoying habit of singing sentences. For example instead of saying “I love you Andrea” I sing it. My baby sister used to find it so annoying.

I have this boxed set of Winsor Pilates DVDs from years and years ago. Sad to say they’ve barely been used.

Last week, I decided to give it a try once again. Hooboy, I had no idea I was this out of shape. I was practically in tears by the 15th minute. It was torture! That scared me. I used to be extremely flexible and now I can barely do the basic pilates movements. This motivated me to do it again, and again.

I’m going to try this for one month and see what happens. I’m really trying to delay having to buy the best diet pills out there. I would rather go the natural route first. Even if that route hurts like hell

I don’t know why trips stress me out but they just do. We have an upcoming Cebu Trip with Andrea in August and I am already stressed out right now. I already know I can’t bring my sterilizer so I have been looking at disposable Avent bottles (Avent Tempo looks really good) now my problem is how do I sterilize the nipples? I know there are sterilizing tablets out there but I really feel uncomfortable about having Andrea use nipples which have been soaked in a tablet filled with chemicals…I don’t care whatever chemicals those are.

How do people travel with babies? What do you feed the kids? Are they going to be eating at fast food places all week? Am I supposed to bring mineral water with me? I know Cebu has groceries and all but what if we don’t get to go during the first day or so?

All these decisions just for a 5-day cebu trip. Can you imagine how I’d be if I were planning month-long Orlando vacations? I’d probably have to be institutionlized already!

“Don’t act the way you feel, act the way you want to feel!”

I came across that wonderful saying in one of the blogs I stalk (hehehe, I have stalking tendencies) and I completely agree with it…in theory. I tried practising that last weekend and I was successful for the most part. My weekend was 90% wonderful because of it.

It’s a lot easier said that done though. I found myself lying in bed pissed and trying so hard to tell myself…act the way you want to feel, act the way you want to feel. I was able to calm down a bit but it took me a full night’s sleep before I got over it completely.

Yesterday my yaya proudly told me that Andrea can name and label the planets. Can you believe that? I can’t even do that! The funny thing is she can’t pronounce the names of the planets, they all get bastardized somehow. Neptune becomes Nyeknyun and Venus becomes Veyon, you get the idea.

While I was about to park my car last night, we were watching the yaya open the gate and Andrea suddenly shouted “Abre! Open the gate” I laughed so loudly I think I scared her a bit.

When we went down she looked up and saw the stars. She said “stars!” and then she said “Mommy count the stars!”. I wanted to say “Okay Andrea, I will count the stars and you make a presentation about Total Merchant Services. How about that?” Geeesh.

It’s funny how much faith our kids have in us. They think we can do anything and everything. I’m kinda scared of facing her when she realizes that mommy can’t do everything, and that mommy makes mistakes too (lots of them). Haaay, I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

Warning: This post will have the word Awesome in it more times than any surfing movie out there. More than Dumb and Dumber and Dude, Where’s My Car?  combined. If you can’t stand that, get out of my site.

Okay so let’s start with the main point. Ruy is an awesome person. The more I stay with him the more I realize what a genuinely nice guy he is. He’s just plain awesome.  I know he’s not perfect and he has his flaws but I really think I would be hard pressed to find another guy who matches me as well as his personality and quirks do.

Case in point. I threw a tantrum last Monday. Why? Cause I was PMS-ing and I have been hungry for some quiet conversation about meaningful things with anyone and I didn’t have anyone to talk to during that period. I was grumpy the whole night. The next day he took me out on a date so “We can just take a break and be together”…awwwwwww. That’s a capital AWWW for AWWWWESOME!

So how was the date? Well, I’m surprised you even asked. It was awesome of course! First he made reservations. That’s a HUGE deal for me. I like thinking that he really prepared for this and thought about it. That makes me feel special. =) Then he chose a resto with a great ambiance and  even greater food.

When we got there, he was all “gentlemanly” in the most OA way I had to hide my snorts of laughter. He tried to help me down the car with a slight bow while saying “After you my lady” who the hell will not snort after that? 

One thing that annoys me about Ruy is the amount of time he spends texting. I know it’s part of his job but I sometimes get frustrated by the frequency of texts. You know what he did during our date? He said he’s not going to text that night. And he didn’t! He didn’t even look at his phone the whole night! Isn’t that so, hmmm what’s that word again? AWESOME!

He had nothing to do with the food but if you know me you would know that food is my weakness. I’m not talking quantity here, I’m talking about quality. I mean moan-inducing food. The kind that would make you close your eyes because it’s just so good. That’s the kind we had. Which of course made me think that Ruy was …AWESOME.

That date aside the best thing I love about Ruy is how he is with Andrea. I love it when I see Andrea giggling and getting excited when they’re playing. I like how he deals with people, how nice he is with everyone. I love how I know that if anything happened to me then I’m sure Andrea will never need for love. I also love that I always always feel like his number one priority no matter what. Doesn’t that just make him awesome?

Naiyak ako sa inis sa pagbabasa nito. Ano na ang nangyayari sa Pilipinas?

Cheche has been charged for wiretapping by GSIS, when her Probe Team tried to do a story on unfair compensation practices. Cheche had explicitly told GSIS that she was recording their conversation beforehand. She had offered them all the airtime to present their side of the story. In the end, because the story was negative, GSIS chose to charge her with wire-tapping.

—–

Cheche Lazaro’s Statement
May 8, 2009

It is mind-boggling why I am being singled out for prosecution for following the tenets of responsible journalism. If raising the concerns of underpaid public school teachers deprived of their benefits by a publicly accountable government institution and giving my accuser the airtime to explain her boss’s side of the story are now considered crimes under our laws, then I plead guilty.

This is a small price to pay for bringing a perfectly legitimate public interest issue out in the open. Probe will not be intimidated into submission. I just wish my accuser will play fair and hire private lawyers instead of using government lawyers (from the GSIS), whose salaries are incidentally paid for by, among others, the teachers shortchanged by the questionable policy of the GSIS and private citizens like me who pay taxes.

In the last 22 years, Probe has carved a niche in the industry and won recognition here and abroad for consistently adhering to time-honored journalistic values of accuracy, fairness and objectivity. My team and I have no plans of changing the way we work just to accommodate the personal agenda of people in power.

That is not what a baby looks like. That is a little girl right there.
(This was taken 2 months ago, she has lost a bit of weight since then. She has also grown a bit taller)

My mom expressed her surprise at how talkative Andrea is. You see while playing she keeps on talking about what she’s doing and what’s happening. She does the same while watching TV. She tries to talk to whoever is taking care of her and tells that person whatever is going to happen with Dora or Blues Clues.

The funny thing about her is that she gets seriously excited as she tries to tell us what will happen before they happen. When we don’t understand what she’s trying to say she would repeat it around 3 times. Then if it still fails she will try to find another way of saying it. I actually love how interactive this baby has become.

My mom said that she understand how she can be so talkative when both Ruy and I are so quiet. (no, there’s no need for ancestry dna testing just yet. we’re certain she’s ours) I am quite surprised that she finds my quiet I have never seen myself as quiet.

This is not the first time I’ve been called quiet too. My lola’s sister has called me the woman with a few words. I was also considered quiet at work. I almost burst out laughing when I realized that the reason I don’t find myself quiet is cause I have conversations with myself all the time. hahaha. PSYCHO!

Sorry for the delay. My mother’s day weekend was crazy and I didn’t really have much time to update this blog in between the food preparations, shopping, etc.

Let me talk about my mom. I very rarely mention my mom in this blog. I really don’t have any reason not to, I guess I just have this image of my mom as a very private person.

Ruy just reminded me a few weeks ago about how lucky I am with my mom. I thought hard and I realized that yeah, my mom’s pretty cool. Here’s some trivia about my mom.

• She would take me to bars at 8 yrs old.
• She let me drink wine at around 13…it was just there at home all the time. It made me not so excited to get drunk at parties (unlike my classmates).
• She told me that I had to have my gums coterized (burnt) to make it smaller, if I didn’t want to do that I better practise smiling properly. I did! My smile now does not show my gums anymore despite my tiny teeth.
• She’s a dentist and when her patients are her relatives she goes crazy…she obsesses over our whiteheads and blackheads. She wants to remove those too.
• She still finds it hard to get used to having 2 daughters. When she goes to the grocery she only remembers to buy for one of us.
• She has this constant urge to help everyone. I don’t know why.
• She gets into the most insane conversations with beggars, gas attendants, etc. For example during the Edsa Dos period she would provoke reactions by asking beggars “Kawawa naman si Erap ano?” (she was anti-Erap ah) and then the beggars would start professing their support for Erap.
• She has charity days when all she does is work on the teeth of maids, drivers, guards, janitors, etc.
• She gets urges in the most insane hours. She once stood up at 3am to fix her cabinet. The scary part? I find myself with the same urges.
• She EATS A LOT! The only reason why she doesn’t gain weight is because she exercises around 2-3 hours a day.
• She used to have a dance called the Spider Dance. It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Her arms would be flailing up and down…she would be running around the room and her head is bobbing from side to side. She can’t dance…but she belly dances. I don’t know how she managed to do that.
• She has such a low voice. We all sound alike over the phone though. My grandmother can’t tell us apart. I have a higher pitched version than she does.
• She didn’t know I could speak in English till I was around 11. I refused to speak in English till I was 11.
• She has a cyclical style. She goes from hippie, 70s, classic, trendy, missionary look. She’s currently in her missionary look. I HATE IT. I feel like it’s a waste of all of God’s gifts for her. That’s why I bought her a dress for mother’s day.
• She has the worst pose when she knows her picture is being taken. That’s why she doesn’t look as pretty in pictures. I took the picture above was taken without her knowledge, she was not able to pose that’s why she looks nice. Hahahah.
• She gave me a huge make-up kit when I was 11. All my friends were green with envy. Their moms wouldn’t even let them wear lip glosses and my mom gave me make-up!
• She got me addicted to hair colors. She told me that my features are so dark that I need lighter hair to make myself look nicer.
• She can cook, but she forgets her recipes. Up to know I’m still craving for the stuffed bell pepper she cooked when I was in high school. She claims never to have cooked such a thing. AAAARRRRRGGGGHHH.
• She would take me with her when she would go out with friends. She would also take me with her when she would go to classes. This probably explain why I’m more comfortable with older people than people my age.
• She is unlike all normal mothers…trust me. Yet she is motherly in her own unique way.
• She is one of the strongest people (not physically ah) I know.
• I don’t look like her.
• I hate how I didn’t get her height, her color, her built. I’m happy I didn’t get her hair…hahaha
• I think she’s an awesome dentist cause she’s so artistic. She also is very gentle and very clean. I have tried some of her colleagues and I swear my mom’s awesome.
• Her mind never stops churning out to do lists for everyone around her.  She somehow hates seeing other people idle…
• She can sleep and eat all day.

So that’s my mom!

There are only a handful of people who I love so much that they can annoy me to death. My grandmother is one of them.

She drives me crazy sometimes that I have literally had to shout inside my car to let off steam. Yet I still love her to pieces.

She’s annoying. She’s makulit. She turns every one’s business into her own. She loves tsismis and she’s the epitome of a housewife if ever there is one. She has devoted her entire life to her family and boy is she ever protective of it.

Here are some fun trivia about my grandmother:

• She calls my grandfather “native” because he’s not tisoy like her family.
• She knows what’s inside the refrigerator of my in laws.
• She calls Diego (the cousin of Dora) Rico
• She was such a pampered wife that my grandfather would wipe mud off her legs when they had to walk on the streets…
• She and her sisters claim that they used to stop traffic with their looks. We think it’s cause they don’t know how to cross the street.
• She loves her blood family so much. ONLY HER BLOOD FAMILY. She insists on having family pictures without the in laws. (yes, even those who’ve been married into the family for over 40 years)
• She was so loved by my grandfather and so spoiled that she thinks all our husbands cannot compare to my grand father.
• She has been watching Dora regularly and asked me the life changing question “Kumukurap ba si Dora”
• She works on crossword puzzles and sudoku all day long.
• She’s still being spoiled by her children and grandchildren.
• Her memory is so much better than mine.
• She gets sad when she’s Andrea’s empty playpen during the weekends.
• I don’t know why but she seems uncharacteristically fond of Ruy.
• She didn’t talk to me for almost a month after I got married. This is considering that I was engaged for almost 2 years na ha!
• She is stubborn as a mule. When push comes to shove her argument is “Ah basta”…how the hell do you win against that?
• Her happiness lies in having her family all around her.

Mother’s Day is coming up and I thought I’d talk about my mothers. I have 3 amazing women in my life who have acted as mothers in their own ways and I thought I’d feature them one at a time.

Let’s start with my Abap.

Her name has an interesting story. VERY INTERESTING. Her name was supposed to be Maria Victoria, that was her name in her birth certificate I believe. She wasn’t allowed to be baptized by the church under that name cause it’s not a name found in the bible or the name of a saint. So she was named Rebecca instead. Her friends called her Rebecca she was called Marivic at home. Until she changed her name to Gretchen…just because.

We cousins would call her Tita Vic. As a child I couldn’t say that name and ended up calling her Ta Bip. Her name to me became Ta Bip. Then when my sister was born a few years ago she couldn’t say Ta Bip as well…so her name became Abap.

The woman with a dozen names. =)

She is the most motherly person I know. When she was in college she would commute all the way to my pre-school just to see me. We lived in the same house most of my life and she pampered me like there was no tomorrow. I would have to say that I was spoiled to some extent but I sure as hell was afraid of her.   I wasn’t the only one, even my high school friends were scared of her.

She was probably the person who was most present in my life growing up. She taught me how to read (complete with a pencil hitting if I may add), she tried reading to me every afternoon when I was a toddler (she would often fall asleep though), she took me to ballet lessons, she attended my PTAs. She basically did everything you could think off. She didn’t stop even when I was already a teenager. She would talk to all my high school teachers EVERY SINGLE QUARTER. Can you believe that?

She is the most nurturing and generous person I know.  Here’s a picture of her with my little sister. She’s also the one in black in the other photo. (Oh, she’s Andrea’s Ninang as well!!)

Guess what happened to me today? I was on my way to work, I boarded the elevator, reached the floor where I was supposed to exit and then the elevator doors won’t open. Then, the elevator descended oh so slowly.

There I was stuck in an elevator jam packed with people (without any fans or a/c if I may add) and getting more and more annoyed. Do you know what makes this doubly annoying? The fact that this happened to me exactly a week ago as well.

I don’t understand why a building with lots of corporate clients can’t find the budget for decent industrial equipment.

Carrie Underwood croons about remembering to remember. Unfortunately for me, remembering is easier said than done. I don’t know what is it with me that makes me forget EVERYTHING except conversations and life stories.

It seems as if I have a micro sd card specifically for life stories and conversations. I can’t remember what I ate last week but I can tell you about a conversation with my boss from 4 years ago.

Weird huh?

=)

It’s embarrassing to admit that I often have to have people remind me just how lucky I am to have the people in my life.

People constantly tell me how lucky I am with Ruy.
Ruy had to remind me a few weeks back just how lucky I am with my mom.

I guess it’s human nature to assume that the grass is greener elsewhere and not to notice that not only is the grass on my side green, it even has flowers. =)

Every morning I find myself having to fend off motorists who are a tad too aggressive when it comes to maneuvering their bikes. I don’t understand why they’re so confident, don’t they realize how tiny they are compared to every other vehicle on the road? Don’t they know they’re relatively unprotected out there and most accidents would result to their death?

It’s not like it would matter whose fault it was if they died. The sympathy would always be on their side cause they would be the ones with major injuries. They don’t even need a good motorcycle accident attorneys, all they need is a medico legal to state their injuries and voila the innocent driver (aka me) will be the one paying damages.

This happened to me 2 years ago. I was stopped when suddenly a motorcycle came sliding down the road and it got wedged between my car and the floor. Guess who had to pay? ME! Grrrr…

We have always been taught that we should be grateful for things we have and for what we are. As a child, gratitude did not come naturally. I guess there is a certain arrogance that comes with youth. My looks are mine, my talents are mine, who is there to thank for the things I have?

I have felt a certain sense of unease when I hear people say things like “Oh I’m grateful my husband is not like that” or “I’m so thankful that I don’t have those problems”. It seems very snobbish. It reminds me of the parable of the Pharisee (God, I’m not sure if I’m using the proper parable here), the one who saw the sinner and thanked God for not being like the Pharisee.

–0–

In the audio file Vicki gave me one line says “Stop thinking of yourself as more blessed. Thinking this way means that others are not blessed. God doesn’t work that way, we are all special and blessed in our own ways”

I’m finding it hard to follow this as I cannot help but think that way sometimes. When I see a sick kid I can’t help but say a silent prayer thanking God that Andrea’s not that sick kid. I feel bad that I am somehow finding something positive in me in other people’s suffering. Isn’t that somehow selfish?

–0–

Ruy said there’s nothing wrong with that. He said something like if seeing other people’s suffering can help show us things in our lives then somehow there becomes more value in the suffering. It becomes a little bit more positive. It serves a purpose.

His example was. If I see a man with no hands, it should help me reflect and think about what I do with my hands. His suffering can help me in my realization.

It makes a weird sort of sense but I cannot fully own this explanation.

–0–

While I was in line at the grocery last night I found myself extremely irritated. There were two very noisy and giggly teenagers behind me (pretty much exactly like how I was when I was a teenager) and I didn’t have the patience for them. I was tired from work and I still had to rush home to bake and the last thing I needed was to listen to teenagers giggling about…NOTHING.

While the cashier was ringing up my purchases I glanced at the teenagers to see that the gigglier (new adjective here) one of the two only had one hand. I literally and seriously felt chills run down my spine. (I’m feeling the same chills as I type this).

She literally transformed right before my eyes. From a stupid giggly teenager to a brave, happy soul who chooses to look at the brighter side of life.

Wow. Ruy, it makes sense now.

N-O. I am not pregnant! I have been asked that question 5 times today alone (and I thought I was losing weight). Why? Do I exude pregnancy?

Look at Ruy’s gift for me last Christmas!!

One pendant says “seek beauty” while the other has Ruy and Andrea’s names. =) I love it so much I haven’t taken it off!!

Make your Stick Figure Family at FreeFlashToys.com

I was reading one self-help blog and it talked about people not liking themselves and how it manifests in the way they lead their lives. It suggested writing down 25 things you like about yourself and I thought I’d give it a try.

1. I like my wit.
2. I like my openness
3. I like my family
4. I like my husband
5. I like my daughter.
6. I like my integrity
7. I like how I always try to improve myself
8. I like how I’m surrounded by such strong and wonderful women from whom I can draw inspiration.
9. I like the concern I have for people.
10. I like how my painful past experiences have somehow left me relatively unscathed.
11. I like my lips
12. I like my nose
13. I like my boobs
14. I like how I am as a mother.
15. I like my decent math skills
16. I like my logic
17. I like my multitasking skills.
18. I like my new found appreciation for the simple things in life.
19. I like my quest for positivity.
20. I like how I can remain relaxed despite being in a stressful situation.
21. I like my curly hair.
22. I like my strategic mind.
23. I like being able to identify the wants from the needs (this is super new)
24. I like the new commitment I have to my marriage.
25. I like the overwhelming love I feel coming from my Ruy, Andrea and my family.
26. I like my calm and relaxed demeanor.

This has got to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. It’s quite sad when I realize that it would have been so much easier for me to write the things I don’t like about myself. I bet if I did that list it would reach up to 70 with no problem! Wow.

I would love to see your lists guys.

I can’t get over the kinds of dishes we had last Easter!

Lunch was spent with my inlaws where my BIL cooked crab using Ruy’s family recipe (which is AWESOME), we also had prawns, clam soup and tandoori chicken. I was so full I wanted to roll down the street to our house.

Dinner was courtesy of Ruy.  Ruy found this awesome disposable grill which inspired him to cook ribs. RIBS! I have always wanted to eat ribs with my hands and not care about the sauce all over my face and this dream came true last Sunday. We had this huge rack of ribs with Ruy’s home made barbecue sauce. Ruy paired it with grilled japanese sweet corn and grilled pineapples (both from our Tagaytay trip) and I was in heaven. During the meal I kept telling Ruy “Omg, this is insane. I can’t believe we’re having this meal at home!!”. I was telling Ruy that a meal like that would easily cost us 2,000 in a resto and it cost us less than 500 because of Ruy. Snaps for Ruy!!!

So what is the result of this? Ruy didn’t lose any weight this week and neither did I. Do I hear weight loss pills calling our names? I think I do!

Last Friday, Ruy surprised us with a daytrip to Tagaytay. And oh boy were we ever surprised. We found ourselves with only 2 pieces of diaper, 3 bottles for her milk and one puny bottle of water for Andrea…we forgot her brush, and her shoes too!

You would think that with all of that this trip would be a disaster right? Wrong! It was so much fun!!! Here are some pictures.

Here’s Andrea playing somewhere in the grounds of Calaruega.

This is Andrea with her yaya. This yaya is such a blessing. Andrea loves her and she’s extremely patient with Andrea. She also get terribly excited when Andrea learns something new.

And of course, we wouldn’t leave Tagaytay without our mushroom burgers!! Andrea was not so keen on the burgers so she just ate their pancit canton. Cost of merienda for 3 adults and 1 baby? 296! Imagine that?

Ruy was really awesome during this trip because:

1. Well, just because he thought of going in the first place.
2. He was extremely patient with Andrea who kept trying to tickly him while he was driving. She even tried tickling him with her toes.
3. He carried Andrea up Calaruega….can you imagine?
4. He insisted on visiting practically every single corn vendor in Tagaytay just to find the particular kind my grandmother likes. This was without any prodding from me okay? I was so touched.
5. He thought of pasalubong for my family! He said we should buy more pineapples for my family’s dinner.
6. He was super attentive to what we wanted. Andrea wanted fries? Olivia wanted buko pie? Go go go!
7. He insisted that we take the yaya along so she can see Taal. I love it when Ruy’s nice to our yaya.

It was a short, inexpensive trip that we all enjoyed. I’m still smiling right now just thinking about it.

Mr. Romantico did it again, and he didn’t even know it.

When I go to work I usually have my mp3 player on and my mp3 player is ALWAYS ALWAYS on shuffle mode. This way I never get bored cause I always have a different line-up to listen to every morning. This morning while parking I suddenly heard Ruy’s voice singing an Eric Bennet song (sorry the title escapes me at this moment). This was a recording he made a week or so ago and he sent it to my phone through Bluetooth. I had completely forgotten about it until I heard it playing this morning

I had to smile…

A few years ago, I decided to give my mom a really nice “adult” present. What does that mean? I was around 19 and I felt like I should move away from giving her ugly house decors she doesn’t really like anyway…hehehe. So I thought, and thought, and thought about it until I came up with a perfect plan. I was going to get our baby pictures and frame it.

Problem number one. Our pictures were of different sizes

Problem number two. Our pictures were of different colors. My mom’s was black and white, mine was almost sepia and my sister’s was colored.

Problem number three. I had no scanner.

Problem number four. I had no budget. WAhahaha

Despite all the problems, I was able to come up with this: (Thanks to all my friends who helped me, with the scanning, printing, framing…I swear a lot of begging was involved in the creation of this gift.)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this frame cause we’re all 2 years old here. Isn’t that great? The best part is that Andrea will now be a part of this frame cause she’s now 2!!! Yey!! I’m so excited. Here’s a closer look at our photos.

That’s my mommy!! Hahaha…my grandmother said that she was perpetually silaw as a kid cause her eyelashes were super light, that’s why she’s frowning.

This is me. Grinning stupidly as usual. They used to call me mickey mouse cause my cheekbones and small chin make me look like mickey. I kinda have to agree.

And lastly, my baby sister Helena. The grumpiest of them all. Hehehe

Miss you dear!

I’m pretty content with where I am and more importantly with who I’ve become right now. I realized though that there is this tiny part in me which will forever feel like a failure for not pursuing med school.

This feeling is very illogical. I know I’m not cut out for med school…I know I won’t be happy telling people they have cancer or mesothelioma, yet somehow I still feel that way. I guess the idea that I should be a doctor has been ingrained in me for so long that it’s really so hard for me to shake it off.

I had the best night last night. We talked for a really long time. We talked about interesting things like relationships and priorities and psychology and child rearing (the topics I love in other words). We talked facing each other without a toddler yanking at our hands.

Most importantly, WE talked - not I talked. It was awesome.

(I just realized it’s our wedding monthsary today)

…lest you be judged. We all know this saying, yet somehow we all find it so easy to be judgmental.

Here’s a chance to see how well you really know your significant other. Cut, paste and fill in the answers, then forward . . . shoot, you know what to do. The real challenge is to send it to your significant other to see how right you really are.

1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
Horror (Supernatural or any scary movie) or Anime!

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
Caesars

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?
He generally doesn’t like raisins on dishes but he would eat it on his own. He’s not a fan of sour fruits and sour things.

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?
Cherry Coke. If there’s a macho mug for beer, he’ll have that just because he likes the big mugs.

5. Where did he go to high school?
Eeeps…I’m not sure

6. What shoe size does he wear?
11-13…he usually needs the bigger shoes for rubber shoes (Cause he has to insert an arch support thing pa)

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
OH GOD. He’s a hoarder! He’d collect anything…liquor bottles, books, he once collected stamps pa.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
Spicy sausage with everything on it, if there’s a horseradish spread it would be better.

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
He wouldn’t. He really likes variety and finds it hard to eat the same thing for two meals.

10. What is his favorite cereal?
He’s not really a cereal guy but he has been trying to eat oatmeal lately.

11. What would he never wear?
Short shorts and sandals

12. What is his favorite sports team?
He prefers playing basketball to actually watching.

13. Who did he vote for?
I’m not sure. I think he was choosing among Macapagal, Villanueva and Roco. I’m not sure who he eventually voted for.

14. Who is his best friend?
Cy!

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?
Bitch and Nag

16. What is his heritage?
Manilenyo

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
He used to like my choco mouse thing

18. Did he play sports in high school?
Don’t think so

19. What could he spend hours doing?
watching DVDs

20. What is one unique talent he has?
His talangka dance…wahahaha

(As if we needed more shoulds!!)

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…

enough money within her control to move out,
rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to… –> check

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
something perfect to wear whether the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour… –> NO, I don’t have anything like this. Damn it…will have to work on this soon.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
re-telling it in her old age…. –> Hell yeah! My life could be a Mexican Telenovela

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
one friend who always makes her laugh…and one who lets her cry… –> I have several who make me laugh, but I think only Ruy lets me cry, does that count?

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored… –> Nope! The last time I had people over I had to ask them to bring their own plate…wahahaha. This is sad

A WOMEN SHOULD HAVE…
a feeling of control over her destiny…. –> Yup I do.

…and

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself… –> Never had problems with this.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job, –> I’ve done this
break up with a lover, –> I suck at this
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship… –> Yes, I’ve done this many many times.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder…and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…  –> I think this is still unclear for me.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.. –> Oh my Lord. I’ve known about the hips thing since I was 8, the calves thing since I was 16…the parents thing? Since birth! Doesn’t mean I’ve given up hope though. =)

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over… –> Yes, yes, yes.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more… –> I once thought I knew what I wouldn’t do for love. Now that I have Andrea…everything is being questioned again.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to live alone…even if she doesn’t like it… –> I’ve always known how to do this.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust, whom she can’t, –> I’m a horrible judge of character. I trust practically everyone.
and why she shouldn’t take it personally…  –> I know this in theory.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go..
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…
or a charming inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing… –> I know, it would be in my grandmother’s house…or anywhere with Ruy.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year… –> I honestly don’t

My bestfriend tried to pull one on me last Tuesday. I received a text from her at around 8pm.

BF: I think I’m gay
Me: Yeah right, april fool’s!
Me: Aren’t you a bit too old to be playing these tricks after all in a couple of days you’ll be turning **.
BF: I’m sooooooo HATING YOU right now!!!
Me: You f*cking started it!
BF: Well you didn’t have to rub my age on my face.
Me: Sometimes I love how annoying I can be. How can anyone be as annoying as me?
BF: I don’t think that’s possible.

In high school, I had this reputation as this person who can’t be teased. If anyone were to try, I would just throw it back at them and they end up being more annoyed than I am.

I think this is a skill. Do you guys know any job out there which can use this kind of skill? (no I don’t want to be a politician)

My hair has always been very easy to manage. I basically just wash it, brush it (occassionally), pull it up or leave it down. No products, no rituals, nothing. I am beginning to worry though if maybe what I’m doing is not enough? You see for the past 3 weeks I’ve been experiencing serious hair loss and I’m bothered by it.

This is not the first time I’ve had problems with falling hair. I’ve experienced this twice before, once after an extremely high fever and next after giving birth. In both cases though the hair loss can be explained and so I didn’t have to undergo any hair loss treatment. (Although I did consult dermatologists).

My old derma said that these things happen around 3 months after severe stress. Could that be the reason for my hair loss? Can I once again blame my company for my physical problems? This is an interesting idea!

Hehehe

Our summer plans are currently non-existent. Ruy and I are both so busy with work that we haven’t even thought about going anywhere. Ruy’s family has been trying to plan something though. My mother-in-law was offering to take us (Ruy and me) to Singapore with her. This offer came with free air fare and free stay at hotels. The downside, Andrea won’t be going with us so I wasn’t sold on the idea.

The plan fell through for one reason or another and now it’s my father-in-law who’s trying to come up with something. He wants to go to the beach. This one I kinda like cause I’m pretty sure Andrea would enjoy it. I hope the beach we would choose would not be so crowded…

I personally just want time to stay at home. Though it seems that even that is not possible….sigh.

While staying in a San Diego hotel I was feeling really good about myself. It was as if I was on top of the world. I was young, independent. All alone in a country thousands of miles away from my family — this might seem like a bad thing but to a teenager it’s a very good thing.

I remember approaching a man and asking him where the comfort room was. He then looked at me with the sleaziest eyes and said “Well honey it depends on what comfort you’re looking for”.

The words don’t really mean anything bad but at that moment I felt terrified. It was then when I realized that I don’t really want to be that far away from the people that matter. If that guy was a serial killer (yes people, I’m paranoid. I think we’ve established this already) it would take my family around 3 days before they could confirm that I was even missing and a lot longer to know that something happened to me.

That memory was so useless, yet somehow it altered my way of thinking. I’m being weird again I know….

Pardon me. I’m in a very lazy mood and I cannot even imagine writing paragraphs. I will be using bullet points again today.

• I finally realized what I’m really good at and what I really want to do with my life. This is a very exciting thing for me.
• I don’t know what it is about Sunday meriendas but they really make me feel good.
• I wonder if Andrea would ever know the extent of my love for her. I guess that’s my role as a mom huh? To make sure she understands this.
• When I was in a bad state of depression and wanted to do bad things to myself, what stopped me was the thought of my grandmother and Ruy crying.
• I had two criteria for choosing a boyfriend among my suitors before. 1. They should love me more than I love them (which was something my mother said in passing and really stuck to me somehow) and 2. If they’re worth the fight I would have with my mother if ever she found out I had a boyfriend. Needless to say,  a lot of guys didn’t make it because of these two.
• I never really understood just how influential a mother can be until I wrote those down. Wow, my mother unknowingly chose my husband.
• When I see my old team sad, it literally breaks my heart.  It also makes my want to buy Macky’s….hahaha
• I’m beginning to enjoy cooking.
• I always try to annoy my grandmother by insisting that I cook better than her.
• I can only cook around 5 things.
• It’s ridiculous how fiercely loyal I am. It takes a lot of really bad things before I will even consider ending friendships or relationships.
• My old job and motherhood has taught me so much about who I am and what I really want.
• I sometimes worry that Andrea might end up exactly like me…and it makes me sad that this thought worries me.
• It has crossed my mind in the past that maybe there is someone out there who would be better equipped to raise Andrea…then I realize just how ridiculous that is.
• I don’t think Ruy knows that I am really looking forward to watching American Idol with him every week.
• I love love love watching Iron Chef and Top Chef but I always end up so hungry after. =(
• Expectant mothers should all be required to attend a motherhood training thing before giving birth…it should be in the law or something.
• It amazes me that one of the most motherly person I know (my aunt) does not have a biological child.
• Andrea’s 6 chicks are turning out to be really matakaw teenaged chickens…if Ruy ever pulls another stunt like that (bringing home pets) I will throw a serious tantrum…and not sleep in the house till he returns the pet.

You see how messed up my thoughts are?

• When I go shopping I usually take a basket and dump everything I see (which I like) in the basket. I then edit my selection while I walk around the shop.  Sorry sales people, I am that annoying person who leaves stuff in different parts of the store.
• Ruy sometimes gets shocked when he sees the number of things inside my cart or basket. He doesn’t realize that those have not been screened.
• I do the same with books. Last week, I had 8 books in my basket and I ended up buying 2.
• Speaking of books. I went to National Bookstore last Sunday with Ruy and Andrea. Ruy came up to me holding 2 books. One was a small coffee table book about handbags which was marked down to 200 and another is a book about motivation which was marked down to 150. I had to keep myself from smiling…these were the books I ended up not buying last week. Imagine he was able to pick these out of the thousand of books in the shop. Amazing huh?
• I prefer going to shops on my own. I really take a lot of time when shopping and only a handful of people have the patience to stay with me. Ruy tries but he still gets impatient sometimes.
• Ruy offered to buy me Crocs last Sunday. I told him not to bother. I love how comfy they are but I cannot stand looking at my feet when I’m wearing crocs. We spent the money on clothes, shoes and nipples for Andrea…then we bought food from the grocery. I think that’s money better spent.

Switched on. All the time. No breaks.

This is what I seem to be. This is what I have been since giving birth. There’s not a second when I can just kick off my shoes and lay there. I have to worry about a million things all at the same time.

When’s the milk going to run out? Do we have enough water? Has the electricity bill been paid? Have my work emails all been sent? Are there any replies? Do we have food for later? Does Andrea have food for later? Does Andrea have enough stimulating activities for the entire day.

Every single second these thoughts are in my head. If I were an electronics device…errr electronic device I mean, I would have short circuited by now. I need a break, not necessarily a break from work but a break from the responsibilities and a break from having to be the one in control.

I think this is why I enjoy going home to my mom, grandmother and aunt. There, I can literally let go and not think. For a few minutes I can be switched off…and somehow the world doesn’t come crashing down on me.

Happy Birthday Yoyin and Kuya!! (Nani, Abap and the rest of the family are sending out their greetings as well)

p.s. Give Gab a great big kiss for me

Growing up, I’ve always detested trips. My family always manages to sabotage our trips with one family drama or another. When I say always, I mean ALWAYS. I guess this is why the thought of trips always leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I guess childhood memories really have a way of creeping up on you in adulthood.

Ruy is another story altogether. He loves trips, he loves driving, and would always try to come up with an excuse to go somewhere.

In college we decided (or rather he decided and I grudgingly went along with it) to go to Tagaytay together. It’s our first out of town trip and while Ruy was excited I was terrified. So many things were coursing through my brains…what if this guy is an asshole and leaves me dead somewhere (yes I swear the thought really did cross my mind, my mother, grandmother and aunt did an excellent job in making me paranoid), what are we going to talk about during the entire trip? can i stand the awkward silence? etc, etc, etc. 

A lot of people think I’m makulit…these people haven’t experienced the convincing power of Ruy. He was somehow able to convince me to go. So with only around 1000 pesos in both our pockets, we headed to Tagaytay.

We didn’t go to Antonio’s, we didn’t go to Highlands, we only had mushroom burger and other things we made baon. Yet somehow when asked to name the best trip I’ve ever taken, that one comes to mind. Strange.

“And the best way to know who we are is often to find out how other’s see us” - Paulo Coehlo (The Witch of Portobello)

When I read this line I had to put down the book I was reading. I’m not quite sure if I agree with this but the implications if it were true are quite scary.

Ruy and I were watching a TV show last night and the man said “It breaks my heart that we can’t afford to have a kid cause my wife deserves it…”

I felt a tug in my heart cause it sometimes break my heart too that I have to wait till I can afford to give another child the kind of life I want my kids to have. If money weren’t an issue I’d want around 4 kids…but money is an issue. =(

I then realized how arrogant it is for me to think I deserve something. Why the hell do I deserve it? I am now living comfortably enough with one child…isn’t that more than enough?

I have been feeling guilty these past weeks regarding the quality of Andrea’s mornings.  She usually spends an hour to an hour and a half watching TV while I rush to finish everything I needed to do in the morning. I feel very strongly that this is not how a toddler’s morning should be.

Friday, I woke up early with Andrea. She said she wanted to watch Dora…I asked her if she wanted to read a book instead and she ran to her bookshelf and got all her books. We read for around 30 minutes then she got restless. 

Puzzles were next on her agenda. She spent the first 2 minutes trying to say the word PUZZLE (it ended up sounding like pushle) and then she concentrated on it.  Next was breakfast, followed by her bath.  I thought she would have had enough of me by that time so I said goodbye so I can go to work. To my surprise she started crying. I’m not talking about toddler whines or fake cry but this one is real crying complete with tears. It broke my heart but I had no choice but to go to work.

Imagine my glee when my dinner plans that night were cancelled. I rushed to my grandmother’s house, picked her up and we went to a small mall near our place and went to Timezone to play basketball.  We then went home where Andrea found her Dad waiting for her with 6 CHICKS!!! 6 chicks = one happy baby = one unhappy mommy. Aaarrrggghh.

Saturday was spent swimming, playing, etc. No TV the whole day for Andrea and No internet for Mommy.  I think Andrea enjoyed the day so much she refused to sleep…she didn’t sleep till 3am the next day.

Sunday was family day. She ate her favorite egg pie for breakfast, then she started painting. Then we went to the mall where she spent 2 hours inside the grocery cart “fixing” our groceries. Then we went home, she napped for a few minutes. As soon as she woke up it was off to the play ground with Mommy and Daddy.

She was so happy during the weekend that I can’t help but feel guilty about having to work and not devoting that much time to her every single day. (that guilt didn’t last long, I know I need my work for my sanity…i’ll go crazy if I had to stay at home)

“…all suffering of mankind is produced by attachment to a previous condition or existence”

Reading this quote was a light bulb moment for me. How many times have I lamented about how difficult life is now compared to the past? How much fun my childhood was, etc. I have been making myself suffer with my attachment to my old life…it’s time to move on now. I think I’m ready.

I have been trying to keep a positive attitude for the past couple of weeks and today proved to be extra challenging.

I called home at 8pm to check on Andrea. I was told that she’s still awake. I told them I’ll be leaving the office at around 8:30 so I can catch Andrea awake. Needless to say, I was not able to leave by that time due to a last minute file I had to edit.

I was rushing to the car to try and salvage the situation. When I was about to pay for my parking I realized that I left my wallet inside my laptop bag (I brought my laptop when I had dinner with Vicki). Aaarrrggh!! I had to park my car again and walk back to the office. It was at that time when I knew I wasn’t going to be able to play with Andrea anymore.

While stuck in traffic I felt an intense frustration. I can’t believe I won’t get to play with Andrea…again. I was so frustrated my eyes were tearing up.

When I got home, Andrea was indeed sleeping already. I carried her to my car and she started fussing. I started whispering to her (that usually soothes her) telling her that I’m carrying her to the car so we can all go home. She suddenly spoke in a very loud voice and said “Truck what happened?” (there was a pick-up truck in front of us)

She tried to stay awake during the entire drive home being very responsive and talkative. When we got home we went straight to the big bed where she put her head on my lap and started drinking her milk again. When I saw that she was about to fall asleep I told her. I think it’s time for you to sleep with Minnie and Donald so I’ll put you on your bed now okay? She smiled excitedly…then fell asleep.

I can’t explain just how happy I am to have those few minutes with her…nothing like a natural high at the end of a work day.

Wow, Ruy and I have been together for that long. WOW!

It was 98 months ago when we started dating. That was when he told me that he sees me as someone who is vulnerable. No one has ever called me that. No one has called me that since. I never understood exactly what he meant then, it still boggles me up to now.

Girl, this totally cracked me up and reminded me of you. I got it from my friend’s blog:

Dear God,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;

Love to forgive him;

And Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,

I’ll beat him to death

 

“When you choose to be pleasant and positive in the way you treat others, you have also chosen, in most cases, how you are going to be treated by them.”

~Zig Ziglar

Wow. It would be so much simpler if I just agreed with the quote and tried to follow it from this point on. Knowing me though, you should know that I don’t necessarily go for the path of least resistance. I am going to use this to look back to the people who didn’t treat me well in the past…and think about how I treated them. 

I am scared I might not like what I’ll remember.  

Andrea used to scream like a banshee when bathing. We were living with my in-laws then and their neighbors found out I have given birth cause they could hear Andrea’s WAILS all the way to their house.

A few months after, she began loving her baths and the water. She usually goes crazy when she sees her pool being set up. Last Saturday, while Ruy was having a rendezvous with his dentist I decided to take out Andrea’s pool which has been hidden for months (cause of the rain). As soon as Andrea saw it she went wild. She started saying “sim poo” excitedly and repeatedly. I was still pumping air into the pool but Andrea was already trying to climb it. She also kept repeating the word swimming pool over and over. I am happy to announce that when I was done inflating the pool, Andrea has learned how to say swimming pool properly.  (Have you ever tried inflating a pool with an excited toddler circling around you? not easy!)

When she was finally able to go inside the pool she was shrieking. She was that excited. She then started pretending to “eat” the water. At this point I was having a nervous breakdown of course. Around 30 minutes after, I started draining the water.  Andrea noticed that the water was going down and that the hose which supplied water to the pool is nowhere to be found. She started saying “Where is it?” ,  I would always reply “I don’t know”…this went on for around 11 times until she found the hose lying a few feet away. She excitedly told me “There! Get Mommy Get!”…I said “What? I don’t see it”. She of course didn’t know what it was called so she was having such a hard time trying to explain what she wanted, she eventually said “the pink!”….wahahaha!!

The hose thing didn’t pan out for Andrea. I refused to give her the hose cause I told her it was time to stop swimming. She then tried distracting me by naming all the animals all over her pool…she started pointing at each one and said “Opus (octopus), shehorse (sea horse), fish, fish, bubbles, bird (no there wasn’t any bird there, it was just a fish which looked like a bird)”, I told her “Okay great job Andrea.”

She looked very pleased with herself until she saw that I was already holding a towel. In her last desperate attempt she did the unthinkable, she pointed at each animal again but this time she labeled the colors so she was shouting “Orange, blue, blue, pink, orange, yellow”. I couldn’t help but laugh, she would NEVER EVER answer me whenever I would ask what color something was and now she’s doing it on her own just to stop me from getting her.

I told her “Wow Andrea that’s good. Come it’s time to dress up”. She looked at me, saw I was serious and she stood up and ran to me. 

I had so much fun playing with her in the pool I’m going to try and bring her to the big pool again very soon.

I grew up thinking I was ruthless. I once thought morality was just one big gray thing I can choose to color black or white depending on what fits me. I thought I’d be okay with doing things which others would consider questionable. I was wrong.

At work, I saw a lot of people do things I could not swallow. It has since bothered and confounded me, how did these people become like these? I believe we all start out pure and innocent (sorry for those who subscribe to Freud’s philosophy, I don’t believe man is innately evil) and for people to suddenly think it’s okay to do things which harm other people…well it’s just something I cannot fathom completely.

Last week , Ruy and I were talking about money and our future. We have a big decision to make next year and we need to prepare for this. Ruy suddenly started becoming thoughtful and told me about an opportunity he had to earn LOTS of money but he couldn’t find it in himself to do it cause it wasn’t technically legal. I say technically cause there are loopholes which could be used to argue his case if he did decide to do it. I loved it when he said “Hindi kaya nang loob ko”, I felt like my insides were bursting with pride.  

I personally don’t want Andrea growing around someone who can do these things. That’s just not the kind of person I want Andrea to become.

My indulgences last year pretty much revolved around 4 things. Andrea, books, food, and road trips with Ruy (which leads to more food, you get the idea!). I didn’t really spend much time or money on myself. Not much clothes, make-up, gadgets…not even trips to the salon (I went 3 times max last year).

This January though, I surprised myself with an impulse buy. I got myself this.

I’m in love with this phone. You know why? Cause it’s so pretty!! I nicked the picture from the Nokia website, I also nicked the specs from that site. Check it out:

Size

• Form: Monoblock with full keyboard
• Dimensions: 114 x 57 x 10 mm
• Weight: 127 g (with battery)
• Volume: 66 cc
• Full keyboard
• High quality QVGA display

Display and 3D

• Size: 2.36″
• Resolution: 320 x 240 pixels (QVGA)
• Up to 16 million colours
• TFT active matrix (QVGA)
• Two customisable home screen modes

Email

• Easy email set-up
• Support for Active Sync for Microsoft Exchange via Mail for Exchange
• Supported protocols: IMAP4, Microsoft ActiveSync, POP3, SMTP
• Support for email attachments
• IMAP IDLE support
• Support for Nokia Intellisync Wireless Email
• Integrated Nokia Mobile VPN

Keys and input methods

• Full keyboard
• Dedicated one-touch keys: Home, calendar, contacts, and email
• Speaker dependent and speaker independent voice dialling
• Intelligent input with auto-completion, auto-correction, auto-punctuation, and learning capability
• Accelerated scrolling with Navi^TMKey
• Notification light in Navi^TMKey

Colours and covers

• Available in-box colours:
  - Grey steel
  - White steel

Connectors

• Micro-USB connector, full-speed
• 2.5 mm Nokia AV connector

Power

• BP-4L 1500 mAh Li-Po standard battery
• Talk time:
  - GSM up to 10 h 30 min
  - WCDMA up to 4 h 30 min
• Standby time:
  - GSM up to 17 days
  - WCDMA up to 20 days
  - WLAN idle up to 166 hours
• Music playback time (maximum): 18 h

Memory

• micro sd card slot, hot swappable, max. 8 GB
• Approximately 110 MB internal dynamic memory

I must admit though, I barely use most of it’s awesome features. I end up using it for solitaire…hehehe. Oh and the camera SUCKS big time.

I consider myself quite young. I know the best years of my life still lie ahead of me but there are times when I just feel…ancient.

This usually happens when I find myself unable to comprehend the behavior of teenagers in public places. I end up muttering “Kids” under my breath while shaking my head…when does this happen? It happens when:

• I see hoardes of young kids being rowdy inside malls.
• When I see teenagers dressed like they’re going to a party when they’re inside the church. And why are they in church? To meet other teens of course!
• Fridays in Eastwood. This is when you see kids, like tiny prepubescent kids who haven’t even developed breasts and hips, dressed in clothes which closely resemble corsets and lingerie more than clothes.

I hate seeming like an old fart who has become so set in her way and ends up judging everything different, but I swear these kids really scare me. I don’t want Andrea turning into something like that. =(

This photo inspired me to work harder and make this dream become a reality. 

I love the thick, dark frames around the doors and the windows. I’m not crazy about the kind of wood used for the cabinets though. What I love most about this is the layout, this layout can definitely be done in a small house.

It’s one of those days when you just want to answer a Blogthings Quiz, so here it goes:

You Are the Leader

You are inspiring and uplifting. You bring out the best in people, through both nurturing and challenging them. You always can see the big picture in life. You are very philosophical and deeply spiritual. You understand people, and you can look at their lives objectively. You can help others grow and heal. People feel comforted by your presence. You help them gain perspective on their lives.

Take That Ruy

Huh! Who’s sexy now?

I asked my yaya last night to come up with a grocery list and here’s what she came up with:

• Milk
• 2big
• Tide Pwder
• Ajaz Cleanzer (d$oesn’t this sound so Ghetto?)
• Jhonson Baby Bhat (if Kimora Lee has her Baby Phat then JHONSON has his Baby Bhat)
• ……

It’s priceless!

I need a break.

I realized that I haven’t had a break since working. The closest thing I’ve had was a 5-day road trip with Ruy around 4 years ago. I think I deserve another one.

I don’t need a fancy schmanzy Outer Banks vacation. I just want peace and quiet…and no bills. =) Yup that would be absolutely perfect for me. I’m seriously considering taking a 2 week break sometime in the future. I still need to weigh the pros and cons though…that 10 day break if converted to cash can buy me two more of my new phones….hmmm money or sanity? What will I choose?

This weekend was a weekend spent with our extended families.

Saturday was for grocery and staying at home. Dinner was with my family to celebrate my grandmother’s birthday.

Sunday was spent in Duty Free cause my mother-in-law just arrived from a speaking engagement in a university somewhere in Asia and she wanted to shop in Duty Free.  This was followed by dinner in Dampa (yey!) where Andrea decided it would be fun to get cheesy…

I love this picture for several reasons. First…she’s smiling! Next I have a picture when I was 2 and I looked exactly like this!! In that picture though I had bangs and I was sitting on my potty but everything else from the tilt of the head to the sparkling eyes to the cheekbones and of course the smile…perfect match!

I AM THE MOTHER!

Who would have thought that these two things would have something in common. You know what it is don’t you? They just keep on coming…and coming…and coming…(okay fine the energizer bunny keeps on going…but you get the picture).

So last month we had to pay for major car repairs and vaccination.  Next month would be vaccination. April would be enrollment for Andrea’s play school. May would be our mortgage insurance payment. June would be more enrollment for Andrea. July would be my car registration and my car insurance (which reminds me that I need to look at site where I could purchase auto insurance online). August would be birthday gifts and September would be when we’d pay for our fire insurance….

I could go on but I think you catch my drift. I can’t believe I was so excited to become an adult. Being an adult is basically all about paying all these freaking bills.

I’ve been tagged by so many people but I’m such a terrible taggee that I lost track of all the tags I received. Anyway here are the things I want for my birthday:

1. Win the 300++ lotto jackpot price
2. My dream house
3. Enough money for baby #2 (and possibly 3 or 4)
4. Huge LCD TVs
5. Complete pearl jewelry set
6. Trip to Greece with Ruy
7. Tokyo Disney with Andrea and Ruy
8. 1 ct. diamond solitaire earrings.

That’s it!! Hahaha damn…I don’t think I’ll get any of these this year. The pearl set maybe…but the rest? NO WAY

Have you guys been to the market lately? Have you seen the astronomical cost of every single commodity there is? I now understand why people want to be vegetarians. Pork and chicken are just too expensive…and don’t get me started on beef.  I swear looking at those prices makes me want to get some cattle supplies and raise my own cows. I bet Andea would love sleeping beside cows. =)

I used to define romance as grandiose acts or someone professing his or her love to another. In my mind it would involve dozens of flowers with petals scattered all over. There would be beautiful Votive candle holders creating a warm glow throughout the room. There would be oysters and champagne and strawberries and truffles.

Not anymore. The flowers would be a waste of money. Scattered petals are messy…who the hell would clean that up? Votive candle holders are still okay, but let’s limit it to one or too. I don’t want the house to burn. Oysters, Champagne and Strawberries, and Truffles….okay but one at a time.

Romance has been completely redefined. Romance is a guy who asks you out on a date cause he feels like the time you have together is not enough. Then he researches on possible dinner places to ‘impress’ you. Then he lets you choose anyway and doesn’t whine when you choose a resto not included on his research. Then it’s shopping for things for your daughter together. That my friend is romance.

I am often surprised by the number of people associating adjectives to themselves or to their daughters. Have you ever noticed how practically everyone you know claims to be a shop-a-holic? What about a bitch?

Here’s my own list of things everyone claims they are:

Shopaholic

Baghag

Cook

Photographer

Foodie

Kikay

Bitch - (guilty, I have claimed to be this many times in the past. I can’t believe I would attach such a negative label on myself though…I’m so over that)

OC

Mataray

I guess one thing I find astounding is how people take pride in a lot of the negative words here. Is it because a lot of them don’t realize the real meaning of these words? It would be disturbing to think that these negative things now seem okay just because a lot of people do it…

Got this from this site:  

Horse Overview

The Horse may have a challenging year ahead. You may become frustrated with the lack of progress in your career, but you will have to be patient to see the results of your hard work. Beware of your energy levels, as you tend to swing in accordance to your success. You will have to work hard to steer yourself out of ruts with healthy activities and other projects that keep you active. Take comfort in your loved ones and friends who will provide support for you in times of need. Be open to try new things and heed the advice of others in the year of the Ox.

Horse Rating

32% (4 neutral and 8 unfavorable months)

Horse Career

The Horse may not see the success that you have become accustomed in the year of the Ox. You may have to revise your usual tactics and maintain steady discipline to see small gains. Don’t allow the lack of results to steer you away from your efforts, as they may not be apparent until next year. It would be wise to gain the confidence of your co-workers, as they may provide a useful means to furthering your pursuits.

Horse Relationships

It would be wise to take caution in your relations. In order for the Horse to have success with personal relations in the year of the Ox, pay attention to the needs of those around you and listen. Hesitate before expressing what is on your mind to spare the feelings of others. At times, you may be so preoccupied with your own activities that you forget the needs of those around you. Step outside of your own world to take care of the ones you love. The single Horse may have trouble this year finding a meaningful, long lasting relationship.

Horse Health

Hard work doesn’t come without a price. Your health may suffer due to stress. You may experience periods of low energy, which may leave your immune system vulnerable. You may find that you need more sleep to maintain a functioning level of vitality. It wouldn’t hurt to implement a routine of daily exercise, possibly jogging, to allow your endorphin level to keep you running with a high level of energy.

Horse Wealth

One positive area this year may be with your finances, as long as you spend wisely. Don’t succumb to lavish spending or any extravagant whims. Plan your spending throughout this year and you will be able to amass a sum that is suitable for making some improvements in your life in the future. With care, you will do well in your financial matters.

Got this from here:  

Dog Overview

2009 will present the Dog with a number of challenges. Your patience will certainly be tested in more than one instance. You may not necessarily gain the notoriety you desire in your career, but certain advancement opportunities will surface throughout the year. You will find comfort with your family and solidify bonds that are necessary for your well being. You may have issues juggling your family life with your work schedule, but you will make great strides in both areas by the end of the year.

Dog Rating

52% (5 favorable, 4 neutral and 3 unfavorable months)

Dog Career

Your work will play a large role in the year of the Ox. You may find yourself working long hours to achieve a promotion or to further your pursuits. Though you may only see minor results this year from your hard work, your ethics do not go unnoticed. Later in the year, you may be offered a step in the right direction, which will flourish sometime next year. Stay focused and be willing to listen to the advice of others and you should have a promising year with your work.

Dog Relationships

Domestically, the Dog can achieve new levels in a relationship this year. People who know you think highly of you, as you are a well respected individual for your work ethics and your devotion to the ones you love. Be open to communication, as you may, at times, be unwilling to change your views even when your partner has a valid point. If you can work on this issue, then you will find your relations with family members and friends very gratifying this year.

Dog Health

Your strong work ethics leave you working long hours, sometimes denying the warning signs of the effects on your health. Take the proper breaks and give yourself the time to recuperate from your busy work schedule or you may be out longer than you desire. You are instinctively a very active person and exercise is not something that you need to remind yourself to do.

Dog Wealth

Financially, you may not achieve the results you seek, but you are well on your way. Keep your spending within your budget, even though there may be items that you desire to purchase to enrich your home. The time will come to make the changes, just focus on the basics for now. There may be a change for the better towards the end of the year, so be patient and exercise care when it comes to spending.

Take the stress of this month, mix it with the hormones brought about by my monthly visitor…equals an Olivia who’s not fun…not fun at all.

I’ve been losing weight!!! I don’t really know how much weight cause I’m just using my clothes as a guide. I was able to wear clothes that didn’t fit a few months back…and the shirt I had made 3 weeks ago is now too loose. It’s a complete and utter waste of money but who cares…I lost weight!!

I still have a loooot of weight to loose though so my quest for diet pill that works is still ongoing. 

I asked Ruy not to give me flowers for tomorrow. I think there are stages in my life when I need that kind of affirmation but right now I don’t need jewelry or Nixon watches or flowers. Ruy has been making me feel very secure already.

These past few weeks have been extremely difficult. Starting from the death of my cousin to some professional issues…Ruy’s been so supportive through it all.

Two days ago I was stressed about a presentation I had to give on my strategy for my new team. It was extremely hard because I’ve only been in this post for 3 days and coming up with a concrete strategy is difficult. I worked on the presentation at home (imagine I was working instead of spending quality time with Ruy) and spent the night tossing ideas with Ruy.

I woke up the next day to find that Ruy spent the night researching online and found a paper on the strategies for insourcing (my new department is involved in insourcing). Isn’t that awesome? 

So really, who needs flowers when you have a husband like that.  

My cousin was buried last Saturday and I surprised myself with the intensity of the sadness I was feeling. I cried for the loss of chances, of possibilities, of reconciliation. 

I remember a time when Ruy and I were on a date. I saw a man riding the escalator and I said to myself “Wow, that man’s handsome”…only to find out that it was my cousin. When he got sick I remembered this scenario and I cried knowing that the chances of me ever running into him anywhere is slim to none.  We would never be able to have our old trips to Tagaytay, EK, etc.  I cried for this too.His burial last Saturday reminded me once again of my own mortality and the mortality of the people around me.

 I used to not be afraid of dying, but now I’m terrified of it. I don’t want to be just another story that people will be telling Andrea when she grows up. I don’t want Andrea to “think” that her mom might have loved her based on the storied of other people. I want her to experience her parents…My fear of dying has reached such irrational heights that even just looking at  term life insurance quotes makes me nervous.

I saw this site which offers a very interesting perspective on the nutritional content of the Baconator:

Sodium (1920 mg)180 Pringles potato chips
132 Doritos Cooler Ranch chips

Calories (830)

10 Rolling Rock Light 12 oz bottles
4 Dodger Dogs
5 7-Eleven Cola Slurpees 12 oz
3 Chili Dogs from The Varsity in Atlanta
33 tablespoons of Oscar Mayer Bacon Bits
83 Life Saver Five Flavors candies
166 Starbucks coffees of the week 12 oz
4 Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnuts
Enough Pam No-Stick Cooking Spray to cover 138 10-inch skillets

Fat grams (51)

10 Dolly Madison Zingers
3 orders of A&W cheese fries
4 Dairy Queen banana splits
22 Oreo cookies
51 cups of Froot Loops
10 servings of KFC mashed potatoes with gravy
22 Mrs. Paul’s Crunchy Fish Sticks
23 3 Musketeers funsize snacks
1 Sara Lee frozen cheesecake
6 ounces of Oscar Mayer hard salami
19 Chips Ahoy cookies
4 Jimmy Dean Pancake and Sausage on a Stick, chocolate chip flavored
68 Aunt Jemima microwaveable pancakes

After reading this, I decided not to try it anymore.

Something really sad happened over the weekend. I don’t want to blog about it yet. Writing it down somehow makes it feel all the more real..

Here’s the fantasy for the week:

“I just received a memo, we’ll be receiving a 14th, 15th and 16th month bonus this year. “

One day, in the middle of a 10-day long road trip, the boy and his girlfriend were fighting. Then the boy pulled over and went down to stretch his legs. The girl didn’t join him cause she was still pissed (never mind that her legs felt like lead).

When the boy went back inside the car he gave the girl a bunch of wild flowers he picked. The girl was happy….and they drove happily ever after.

This happened almost 3 and a half years ago….why is this story relevant? Cause I found a picture of the flowers:

And yes…the boy in the story was Ruy circa 2005

Since imagination is a wonderful thing, I thought it would be fun to have a fantasy of the week. Here’s today’s fantasy: 

Somehow, the more I eat the thinner I become! 

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.  - Dr. Seuss

I like walking. If I could I would spend around an hour a night just going around our subdivision. One of my fondest memories was walking around the subdivision with Ruy. Ruy hated it of course but that’s a different story altogether.

I always thought of saving up for a treadmill but when I look at the treadmills in shops I know that I’m only fooling myself. I’ll probably only use it for a week or two and then it would start gathering dust…lots of dust.

The thing I like about walking is the feeling of being outside. The air on my face, the detachment from my house. I also love hearing myself think…okay fine I admit I also hear the conversations I have with myself. =)

Since I just talked about Andrea’s imagination in the previous post, why don’t I do the imagining this time?

I’ve always dreamed of going home to find our bed has somehow turned into something which looks like this:

Doesn’t it look so luxurious? Who would want to get up after sleeping in that kind of bed right? I’ve always had better bed linens on my list of things to buy but whenever I get to the store I end up not buying anything good. Why? Cause I’m cheap! I just can’t rationalize spending over 5k on bed linens. I guess I’ll just have to keep on dreaming for Sferra bed linens.

Andrea’s imagination has been working overtime.

• I was feeding her with little sandwiches (i cut one sandwich in 4 parts) and she took two pieces, covered her eyes and said glasses.
• She got her tambourine, sat down and started driving.
• She was in her crib when I started hearing her talk to herself. She said “Andea ride boat. Jump Jump Jump. Yey”. Her crib somehow became her boat.  She then saw me and was pulling me into her crib saying”Mommy ride boat.” (trust me my child can be very persistent) and I had to tell her I couldn’t ride her “boat” cause it was too small. I went to my bed and told her that the big bed was Mommy’s boat. That made her very happy.
• She took her grocery cart and told me it was a bus. She then said “Andea ride bus” while trying to climb into the tiny grocery cart. I almost had a heart attack.  I told her she can drive the bus instead of riding it. That left her satisfied.

I AM SO PROUD. I really think imagination is important and I think the show blues clues really helps her in developing her imagination.

#1. Get severe hyperacidity. The kind that makes you writhe in pain.

#2.Go to the doctor.

#3. Have the doctor forbid you to eat practically anything which has taste.

Simple isn’t it? In 4 days I lost quite a bit. I don’t know exactly how much right now but I have a lot of loose clothes. It’s almost like taking a fat burner like Anoretix. Except you have to live with the torture of not eating anything you like. Oh well…losing weight is losing weight so I’ll stop complaining now.

So, I spent my mom’s birthday with my maiden family and while it was fun something happened in the middle of the day which really freaked me out. At around 5pm I started writhing in pain. It’s really hard to explain what happened all I know is that I experienced severe pain and nothing I did could alleviate it.

I don’t want to get into the boring details but the end result is this. I can’t eat the ff: food for the next 6 weeks:

- Dairy

- Cheese

- Vegetables (uncooked)

- Fruits

- Oily food

- Fried Food

So guess what? I’m on a forced diet. I think this is God’s way of grabbing me by both shoulders and shaking me while shouting “When will you learn to eat the right food you stupid girl”.

While I will miss the things I listed above I am quite excited because I’m sure to lose weight (this happened to me in High School and I lost A LOT of weight). So I guess no need to buy Leptovox just yet.

I was listening to Carrie Underwood as she professed her love for small towns in one of her songs. She sings “I’d rather be tipping cows in Tulsa than hailing cabs in New York” while some of my friends might laugh at this sentiment, I actually understand what she’s saying.  I myself love small towns.

I guess this love afair with small towns stemmed from my childhood. When you grow up in a small town you realize just how different city folks are. Everything is just more laid back, more relaxed and a whole lot friendlier.

My past travels almost always lead me to huge and bustling cities and I thought of looking at small towns as an alternative travel destination. Ruy’s main concern with small towns is usually the lack of activity. “What the hell are we going to do there? ” is his constant contention. I think he’s going to be in for a shock when I tell him about .Branson Missouri

There is an insane number of activities for such a small town. There are over a dozen shows for those who like music, magic and such. I was so surprised to see Andy Williams among the performers in Branson. This is a man I listened to a lot while growing up! There is also this show called Legends wherein impersonators copy old legends and sing the legend’s most popular songs. I’m a sucker for old songs which is why I like this one. 

There is also a theme park for those who want to enjoy the town in the morning. It actually sounds really exciting.

I looked at this site with several packages and I was initially drawn to their Titanium package which costs around 800++ per couple when I saw that they had a Family Package as well!! For less than a hundred dollars more you can include two kids already! I can’t believe how economical these trips are. I’m not sure if taking Andrea would be a great idea at this point (i’m iffy about the long travel) but this definitely is something worth remembering for the future.

I’m getting a bit freaked out when I think about how much info there is about me on the web.  I think I’m going to lay low for a while and try to remove some of the things I’ve posted online.(p.s I’m thisclose to deleting my facebook account)

There are days when I feel so grown up. When I feel so cosmopolitan. These are the days when everything is going smoothly and I understand everything that’s thrown my way.

Then there are those other days.

Those days when I’m forced to realize that I don’t really know anything about grown-up stuff. I don’t understand the stock market, I don’t know anything about term life insurance, I don’t know anything about money in general.

I really wish Filipino kids were forced to take up some sort of finance course instead of a Rizal and sewing.

Followed this link from Aggie’s site:

Sunday Stealing: The Cannon Fodder Meme

1. Is there someone you’d like to be kissing right now?

Andrea and Ruy of course.

2. When you’re being extremely quiet, what does it mean?

I’m analyzing something or I’m trying to piece together things in my mind.

3. What are you listening to right now?

Carrie Underwood.

4. Are you a big fan of thunderstorms?

Yes, but only if I were at home. I’m beginning to not like them though because I can see how destructive they could be and how many people suffer when there are thunderstorms.

5. Do you believe in perfect?

My daughter is perfect so yes. =) Seriously though, I believe in the power of perception and how if we just seek beauty we can view a lot of things as perfect.

6. Are you a jealous person?

Not at all.

7. What was the first thing you thought this morning?

Olivia don’t forget to prepare for your meeting tonight.

8. What do you think about when you are falling asleep?

How badly I want a hug.

9. Are you satisfied with what you have in life?

Hmmm. This is a tough one.  I guess I could say yes I’m generally satisfied but what brings me more satisfaction is knowing that I have the capacity to bring more in my life.

10. Do people ever think that you’re either older or younger than you actually are?

People usually think I’m older than I am. When I was in high school my mom used to call me a batang matrona….aaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhh

11. Do you think men truly understand women?

I think men try….but women are just too complex and fascinating and wonderful that men become overwhelmed when they try to understand us. =)

12. How about women understanding men?

In a heart beat.

13. Did anybody ever call you handsome or beautiful?

Yes.

14. What is one fact about the last person that called you?

He’s madly in love with me. =) (Oh and we don’t have internet connection at home so he can’t read this)

15. Other than your current one, what’s the longest relationship you have had?

I don’t remember if it lasted a year and 10 months or 2 years and 10 months. I just know that it was long!

Vicki told me about a book one of her friends read which talks about the 5 love languages we all use. I found the concept really interesting (y’all know I’m a self-help junkie) so I googled the book and landed on this site.

I took the test to find out what love language I use and here is my result:

Quality Time
Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

An important aspect of quality conversation is self-revelation. In order for you to communicate with your mate, you must also be in tune with your inner emotions. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate.

Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.
Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.

AMAZING. This sounds just like me. I wonder what Ruy’s result would be. I have my guesses but I’d rather he take the test himself.

If you look up the word ridiculous in the dictionary you would see PLDT’s logo right beside it. I can’t get over how silly this company is. (I also can’t help but feel bad that I have no choice but to subscribe to such a silly company) Why are they ridiculous you might ask? Well let me count the ways:

1. If you want to get a landline from PLDT you can only do this by calling 171 using a PLDT landline.  Isn’t that insane? If I had a PLDT landline then I wouldn’t be subscribing now would I?
2. If you look at their flyers….it’s practically impossible to find a contact number.
3. I was able to find a landphone I can call using my Bayantel line but I had to enter so many numbers in the process. I wanted to avoid this so I asked the CSR what number I should call in order to speak to her directly. She said 171. I said I can’t use that cause I have a Bayantel line. She said I can’t reach her then….I took a deep breath. I told her “I’m talking to you now so obviously I can get in touch with you even without going through 171, I just want to know what the direct number is”…she said “Ma’m, ano po bang number tinawagan niyo”. I gave her the number I called and she said that I’m not supposed to call that number cause that’s an internal number….Haaaay
4. They say you can apply online. I did. The lady did not forward my application so there’s no SO…(that’s service order for you) the new CSR I was talking to said that I should just wait indefinitely IN CASE the old CSR forwards my application any time in the future.  They have no record of my old application. They said I should just go to the Business Center to make sure….wasn’t that the whole point of doing things through the phone? So you don’t need to go to the freaking Business Center?
5. I waited 3 hours in the Business Center.
6. The lady in the Business Center said that I couldn’t have possibly applied since she can’t see my name online…. AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH.
7. I now have to wait indefinitely AGAIN….before they allow me to go back and line up AGAIN so I can pay in case they decide I’m worthy of their product and of their wonderful customer service……AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH.

I swear the first minute another service provider becomes available in our area I’m switching.

I got this from  Numi’s blog…very interesting!! (and quite accurate too!)

  Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz…
 

You Are a Joan!

You are a Joan — “I need to succeed”

Joans are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal oriented.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Leave me alone when I am doing my work.
• * Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback.
• * Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.
• * Don’t burden me with negative emotions.
• * Tell me you like being around me.
• * Tell me when you’re proud of me or my accomplishments.

What I Like About Being a Joan

• * being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat
• * providing well for my family
• * being able to recover quickly from setbacks and to charge ahead to the next challenge
• * staying informed, knowing what’s going on
• * being competent and able to get things to work efficiently
• * being able to motivate people

What’s Hard About Being a Joan

• * having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence
• * the fear on not being — or of not being seen as — successful
• * comparing myself to people who do things better
• * struggling to hang on to my success
• * putting on facades in order to impress people
• * always being “on.” It’s exhausting.

Joans as Children Often

• * work hard to receive appreciation for their accomplishments
• * are well liked by other children and by adults
• * are among the most capable and responsible children in their class or school
• * are active in school government and clubs or are quietly busy working on their own projects

Joans as Parents

• * are consistent, dependable, and loyal
• * struggle between wanting to spend time with their children and wanting to get more work done
• * expect their children to be responsible and organized

  Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy  

This would be the first time that I would be admitting in this blog that some things which happened last year bothered me deeply. I would sometimes lie in bed thinking about these things and asking myself all the questions you could think off….all the questions I could not answer.

I am deeply disturbed by the things which happened. I am also deeply disturbed by the thought that I might have an inherent flaw which caused these problems.

I was surfing lazily when I came across this saying from this site:

There comes a point in your life when you realize
who matters,
who never did,
who won’t anymore…
and who always will.

So, don’t worry about people from your past,
there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.

Wow. Thank you….these words are really soothing.

I wish I could say something extraordinary happened for me to realize just how happy I am. My happiness started with a smile from Andrea in a mall.

We decided to take Andrea to the toy store last night and Ruy was taking care of her while I looked at some things. I was looking for them when I saw a little girl running very very very quickly from the opposite end of the aisle (followed by a tired looking Ruy, hehehe). I caller her name and she suddenly stopped turned to me and smiled the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. She then started running to me with her arms outstretched (with matching high pitched and over excited screaming). Then about 2 feet away from me she stopped. She saw dozens of bikes and cars which she wanted to ride. She looked at the bike and looked at me.  She slowly stepped away from the bikes and then stopped and looked at the bikes again.

This went on slowly until she reached me. I found this hilarious and heartwarming….if your toddler willingly gives up her toys for you then you can be certain you are loved.

“The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved — loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”~Victor Hugo

I have none. A lot of people drool over cars and luckily I am not one of them. Why do I say luckily? Well simply cause drooling over a Ferrari would be useless considering I can barely afford Ferrari parts let alone a whole car. I’m glad to see that Ruy is not into cars this way as well.  I just can’t imagine being so attached to something that’s functional. I have a cousin who’s so in love with his car that it’s his avatar, wallpaper, etc. Yup, he chose his car over his wife and child…. 

Last night Ruy, Andrea and I  went to church last night. We usually go to the church near our house but we decided to go elsewhere due to our plans for that day. When I stepped into the church I felt a surge of overwhelming emotions. I cannot believe that I am stepping into that church with my husband and my daughter. I used to go to that church when I was Andrea’s age and now I’m hearing mass there with her.

I was so overwhelmed that my eyes started tearing up. I hid my tears from Ruy as seeing me cry would open up a deluge of questions starting with “What did I do?”…I just didn’t want to deal with that at that point. I don’t know why but at that very moment everything felt right. I realized how much I have going for me. I realized how lucky I was to have the support system I have. I realized how loved I am by Ruy, by Andrea, by my family. It made me even more emotional. 

I sometimes wonder what has become of the old Olivia. So much has happened which has shaped the ‘new’ Olivia…an Olivia who is almost *gulp* domesticated. Hahaha. True I was this close to pulling my hair out during the long break but I find myself looking at furniture, appliances and home fixtures more and more.

It is somewhat disturbing that I find myself more excited at these beautiful Grohe faucets compared to makeup. WTH?

A lot happened during the holiday season, but I can’t remember most of it now. I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it….hehehe. Ruy and I gave awesome gifts to each other. I LOVE LOVE LOVE what he got me (true it’s not the latest Sony Vaio which would have been awesome but this gift is even better trust me) and I think he appreciates what I gave him. I think he’s regretting not choosing the Ipod Touch I was offering to give him. He got jealous when he saw my sister’s new Ipod Touch. I’m going to be posting the picture of his gift in a few days.

So, gifts aside, what else happened? WE MOVED!!!!!!!! It was one big messy, tiring and expensive process but it’s over now. Whew! Ruy and I have stayed in our own home during the holiday break and it was refreshing. Imagine we had no internet connection, no phone and no cable. It was my heaven and Ruy’s personal hell. I would have to admit that I missed the internet A LOT. So here I am back with a vengeance (insert evil laughter here).

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday season!

Ruy and I have no internet connection in our new house so I will be unable to post before January 5.  Merry Christmas to you all from Ruy, Andrea and myself.

1. January
   1. I was offered a job in another company and turned it down.
   2. Andrea started becoming more social and communicative
   3. I started becoming more domesticated. I chose to buy a food processor over shoes
   4. My mom celebrated her birthday and I completely forgot to greet her. That still haunts me up to this day.
   5. I made a New Year’s Resolution to take care of my brain this year.  I promised to read 12 books.
   6. Ruy and I worked on a family budget, that went pretty well.
2. February
   1. We disovered Andrea’s love for basketball
   2. We took Andrea to Timezone for the first time and she loved it there!
3. March
   1. My baby turned 1!! We celebrated it the way we all wanted to. Together, eating and playing.
   2. For her birthday, Andrea got to visit the Ocean Park and ride a kalesa.
   3. I felt overwhelmed with everything I needed to do.
   4. I tried walking as a form of exercise. I liked it but never really found enough time to do it regularly.
4. April
   1. I handled recruitment for our company and it could very well be the most challenging thing I’ve ever done.
   2. Madonna released her album. I didn’t like it…oh no.
5. May
   1. I was offered the chance to join another company. It was for a senior position and I turned it down yet again. I started becoming afraid that I was being stupid.
   2. Ruy gave me the best Mother’s day gift ever.
   3. Andrea uttered her first phrase (”No more bubbles”)
6. June
   1. I was already able to read 7 books at this point. Yey
   2. A ferry sank taking one of her helpers along with it.
   3. Mar Roxas pushed for a new tax computation which was signed into law.
   4. We re-started the work on our house. 
7. July
   1. Times were quite hard for me this month. A lot of things were going wrong in practically all aspects of my life.
   2. Andrea started doing number 2 on her potty. Isn’t that amazing?
   3. Graduated from a management training and came up with a three year plan.
8. August
   1. Started learning how to cook. Was able to cook adobo and beef steak.
   2. Met JEN!!!!!!!! This really made me happy, wish I could have seen her more though.
   3. Joined a job fair.
   4. Lost my phone. Lost all of Andrea’s baby pictures.
   5. Was interviewed for a TV show…never got to watch it.
   6. Had painful meetings after painful meetings.
   7.  Ruy and I celebrated our birthdays
9. September
   1. First of my many heartbreaks this year.
   2. Have some personal issues.
   3. It was a busy busy busy month for me.
10. October
    1. Accidentally saw an episode of Oprah with Harville Hendrix. This seriously changed my life. It made my relationshiop with Ruy so much better.
11. November
    1. Andrea counted to five all on her own!! Of course she doesn’t want to repeat it when we ask her to but she does it whenever she feels like it.
    2. We went to Tarlac and Andrea saw all the farm animals.
    3. Took a one day break and just went all the way to Pampangga. LOVED IT
12. December
    1. Finally moved into our own home.
    2. Got Ruy a cool gift.
    3. Got an even better gift from Ruy.
    4. Am realizing how many blessings I have.
    5. Am dreading some decisions which might have to be made.

How was your year: Van, Vicki, Jen, Numi and Affie?

Vicki told me that this song remined her of me. I got curious and looked and my goodness…it is me!!

Mandy Moore Lyrics
Can’t You Just Adore Her Lyrics

I went crazy at the furniture shop I am officially BROKE!!!!! OMG. I bought so many things….all of which we need but still I bought so many.

Here’s my loot:

1. Chest of Drawers with 5 chests

2. Entertainment Center

3. Computer Table

4. Jr. Cabinet for Andrea’s Yaya

5. Microwave Stand ( We’ll be using this for the microwave, Oven Toaster and Rice Cooker) 

Here are more things I would like to buy from there in the future…like in the far far far future.

1. Bookshelves

2. Patio Furniture

3. Cabinet to act like a sort of pantry.

4. Shoe cabinet

Meanwhile,  here are the things we really really really need.

1. 2 Wall fans

2. Mattress for the yaya

3. Extension Cords and AVRs.

4. Shower Caddy 

5. Clothes Hanger

6. Hangers

7. One Curtain Rod and Curtains

I’m dying to get personalized books for Andrea but finding them here in the Philippines is so hard.  Ruy and I ended up getting her some educational stuff, some barney flash cards and some toy pots, pans and plates.  Ruy stopped me from getting her a big toy kitchen. He had to remind me that we’re still getting her something big for January….good thing I listen to reason or at least I try. I’m still so tempted to get her something else. SOMEBODY STOP ME!!

The winds of change are blowing. I cannot quite put a finger on it but I know that somehow this is the beginning of the end of  our lives as we have grown accustomed to.

This life might be far from perfect, but at least we’re comfortable with it.  

Change is scary sometimes. Change always starts with some sort of discord, of things being out of order and during that stage you cannot imagine it being okay again. I am now asking myself if these changes will be for the better. I guess that depends on me, life is what we make it after all.

Yesterday, while playing, Andrea bumped her head on the window. She stopped what she was doing and suddenly looked like she was about to cry. She looked at me while rubbing her head and then she ran towards me.

I hugged her and asked her what’s wrong and if she hurt her self. She made several whining sounds then stood up and ran away.

I have never felt more like wonder woman. I am the woman with the healing touch. I am awesome. I felt invincible…then I realized this is just temporary.

I totally dread the day when I am unable to soothe her with a hug. Haaa

I went to my friendly neighborhood furniture shop to ask some questions from a friend and I left with an entertainment console…damn it. Why do I have such low EQ? Why? I told Ruy about my latest purchase and he asked “Pang plasma ba yan?”….

Errr, no Ruy! Don’t go buying home theater sconces yet. I just bought a teeny tiny table for our teeny tiny TV.

Few reasons why a lot of girls love Edward Anthony Masen Cullen: 

A normal guy would say: I love you baby!

Edward would say: You are my life now

As you would leave the house

A normal guy would say: Bye. See ya!

Edward would say: Hurry back to me.

While you’ve gone far away

A normal guy would say:  I miss u.

Edward wud say: It’s like you’ve taken half myself with you

I know the Twilight fanatics would call me strange…but I kinda like the normal guy better.  

a.k.a what makes a Liv, Liv.

We all have those little quirks which somehow make up our unique and wonderful existence. Here are some of mine.

1. I don’t like lotions - I have tried again and again but I just don’t have the discipline and the patience to put on lotions daily. Give me soap and water…then a perfume any day.

2. Motherhood is so natural to me.  If I had all the money in the world, I’d want 4-5 kids.

3. I don’t use promotional pens. There’s no logical explanation but I just don’t like using them. Every time I get one I give it to my grandmother who’s an avid collector. =)

4. I am dying to spend a day alone in a mall, just going around and around and around. I haven’t done this in ages.

5. I get sad when I’m not hugged for a long time.

6. I like baking more than cooking…cause baking is simpler. It is however easier to repair things you cooked when they are not yummy

7. I don’t like Christmas….

8. I pray…I really do.

9. I never really remember who sang what.

10. I have a very mushy side which I keep well hidden.

11. It’s very rare that I actually ask for something, and I get sad when I don’t get it. This is wrong I know.

12. I am not addicted to coffee, cigarettes or alcohol…I am addicted to desserts.

If you would look at some of my posts here and in my other blog, you would see that I have been thinking about relationships a lot lately. There are lots of notions presented to us by media: by romantic books(i.e. Twilight), romantic movies and romantic shows that make it so easy for a normal woman to be dissatisfied with what she has. I was lucky enough to stumble upon helpful books and sites such as these that are…well, really helpful. Here’s one thing I got from that site:

What is happening that so many couples are falling out of love?

Could it be we expect too much? Do we think marriage is about living in a constant state of extreme passion and euphoria? Are we wanting our spouse to solve all our problems, fulfill all our dreams, and be the perfect man or woman?

Or maybe we forget that our marriage is only as successful as the couple makes it.

Perhaps we don’t feel love because we have stopped loving?

Interesting isn’t it? 

When Ruy and I were dating we were talking about the situation of another couple and he said something which struck me “The best way to make someone fall in love with you is by showing that person just how much you love her.”

I think that in our relationships we often try to look at what we’re getting instead of what we’re giving.  We look at how much we are being loved instead of how much we are loving. If everyone thought that way…no one would be happy at all. 

I swear I’d be a better woman
I’d listen to him
Cause I don’t know everything
I would always try to tell him that he needs to treat me better
Like I don’t gotta change at all
If I were a girl
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say it’s just a mistake, think I’d forgive you like that? (I don’t)
If you thought I would wait for you,
You thought wrong (I did wrong)
But you’re just a boy
And you’re just a girl
You don’t understand
No you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
And you don’t listen to him
You don’t care how it hurts (you don’t care how I feel)
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you’re just a boy
And you’re just a girl

Putsa! It’s horrible. Why do men even try. It just never works when guys try this.

EVERY SINGLE TIME we see any relative we are hounded about our house. Everyone is just dying to see us move to our own house already. They keep on asking both Ruy and myself when we’re moving and then eventually they ask why the hell we haven’t moved.

We still are missing a whole lot of storage stuff like kitchen cabinets, shoe cabinets,  tv stand, etc.  A lot of people say that these are not important and can be bought later and I tell them: You try living in a house the size of a matchbox where nothing has proper storage…then take your 2 year old daughter and have her rummaging through everything, let’s see how manageable that is.

I spent most of yesterday with my mom, aunt and sister. My mom was telling me about her newest bag.

Mom: Have you seen my new bag? I have LVs.

Me: Really what kind?

Mom: Ewan. The hard one which is a bit shiny. Oh and I have an evening bag too….

WALA! It’s totally wasted on my family. No one in my family cares about those things. It’s so funny how my mom treats these bags like any parisian or secosana bag.  

When we were in college Ruy and I would hang out in National Bookstore a lot. Yes we were (and still are) bookworms and since the nearest bookstore to Ateneo was NBS that’s where you would find us.

One time Ruy showed me a poem which he said was his poem for me. It sent chills down my spine at that time and thought it would be interesting to see if it would still have the same effect on me. I found that poem again today and I can’t believe it still made me swoon….

To a Stranger by Walt Whitman (1819-1892)

 

PASSING Stranger!  you do not know how longingly I look upon you,

You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me as of a dream,)

I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,

All is recall’d as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,

You grew up with me, were a boy with me or a girl with me,

I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become not yours

only nor left my body mine only,

You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass, you take

of my beard, breast, hands, in return,

I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake

at night alone,

I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again,

I am to see to it that I do not lose you.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

…is really hard sometimes.

The male and female side of a computer

Top ten reasons why computers are male 

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

9. A better model is always just around the corner.

8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.

7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

6. They’ll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.

5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

3. The lights are on but nobody’s home.

2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

1. Size does matter.

Top ten reasons why computers are female

10. The instruction manual is mostly wishful thinking.

9. Even after you’ve turned them on, they just sit there waiting for you to make the next move.

8. Incorrectly worded commands are completely ignored, or worse, taken literally.

7. They reveal all your secrets to anyone who wants to know.

6. Upgrades react badly to things left behind by previous versions.

5. Rules are absolute and there is no possibility of compromise.

4. Whatever you buy for them, there will always be a newer version that they want.

3. Nothing is ever “really” deleted… obsolete files will be brought up out of nowhere just to annoy you.

2. Error messages always translate to: “Well if you don’t know I’m not going to tell you.”

1. Despite your best efforts to prevent it, they continue to permit unauthorised entry.

Went to this site which was recommended by Toni…my results were very disturbing. WHAT THE F!

Presently, you are trying to break away from a situation that is causing you considerable worry and concern. Things are getting on top of you and you are feeling depressed almost to breaking point. Obviously there must be a way out - but at this time the solution seems to be escaping you. You want to ‘get away from it all’ and as a consequence you appear to be sullen and introverted and refuse to get involved in any discussion or arguments which could aggravate the situation. Accept the fact that ‘as you feel - so your body will respond’ and ‘pretend’ to the world about you that everything is going beautifully as, if you act as if ‘all is going well’ everything will, whether you believe it or not, work out as you would like it to.

Enough is enough. Nothing seems to be working out as you would like it to and it has got to the stage where you feel as if you can’t be bothered anymore. The way you feel is that it would be great if you could be cut off from everything and take it easy - be it only for a short time.

It is amazing that you yourself believe that old ‘adage’ that you are a misunderstood person - and you feel that because of this you are being left out in the cold. It is because of this lack of believed understanding that you feel the need to conform to society in general - but this situation leaves you ‘cold’ knowing that you are not appreciated for your true self. Any relationship that you are developing at this time does not seem to involve any true emotional commitment, you seem to be just playing along.

Whatever you strive to do, something always seems to be holding you back. There is no subterfuge in you. You are a clear thinker and all you demand from life, in a relationship, is a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can, together, develop a foundation of trust based on understanding. You are your own person and you demand freedom of thought to follow your own convictions. You have no interest in ‘two-timing’ and all you seek is sincerity and ’straight-dealing’.

You are fed up with other people trying to influence you and you also feel that it is necessary to protect yourself from the threat that your independence and freedom may be restricted. You would just like to be left alone.

Woohoo…someone went crazy with pictures again. =)

During our Tarlac Trip Andrea had a BLAST seeing the animals. My cousin’s house has pigs, lamb, ducks, dogs, carabaos, etc. It was like being in a petting zoo!

Here Andrea is trying to find away to catch those ducklings…I stopped her because I pitied the ducklings. =)

Here’s Andrea doing what she loves to do…pick leaves. Doesn’t her hair just remind you of Beyonce in Goldmember? Hahaha

This shot convinced me that she really is a big girl now. =(

The toy that she’s holding now is the best value for our money EVER. Ruy got that for 30 pesos (including a plastic shampoo and a plastic tub) and Andrea has been playing with it for months. She calls the baby, baby doll and she takes it with her when she goes swimming. Here she tries to make baby doll sit

Here she is telling me something…I never did understand what she was trying to say.

And what do you do when your mom gets mad at you for throwing the crayons off the side of your chair? You look at her this way

And then you do it again

I was tagged by Vicki. Here we go:

Here are the rules:
1. Each blogger must post these rules.
2. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write ten facts about themselves. You need to choose ten people to tag and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged and also to read your blog.

10 Random Facts/Habits about ME:
1. I am very much into family.  My immediate family, my extended family, my inlaws…love them all

2. I have control issues.

3. I have a soft spot for old people.

4. Saturday morning to late afternoon are 100% mommy and kids time.

5. I get bored when I’m only doing one thing.

6. My ideal day would start at around 6 am…I like early mornings

7. I absolutely need my peace and quiet. I get grumpy when I’m exposed to too much noise and jabber.

8. I am one hell of a stage mother when it comes to Andrea’s milestones. When she counted out loud for the first time last Saturday I felt like my heart was going to burst with pride. I am extremely OA about this…

9. I NEED alone time. I get excited at the thought of being alone.

10. I love love love breakfast

This was easy: I am tagging Jen, Van, Ruy, Litzie, Numi, Affiekins. Ack! I only have 5 people. Oh well, have fun ladies!

A friend once told me that according to her dad only stupid people get bored. I took this to heart and would do everything within my power to try and avoid admitting that I am indeed bored. Unfortunately nothing works right now, I have tried to do so much and yet I am still bored. I tried watching DVDs, reading books, even tried reading alli reviews but to no avail. I am still booooooooooooored.

I love love love reading books. I don’t know why or when it started I just remember always being mesmerized by the books owned by my aunt who lives next door.  My aunt was a preschool teacher who would take home lots of children’s book and being a child I was happy.

I remember feeling so frustrated at not being able to read the books myself. I remember bringing the books over to where I was living and asking my aunt to read for me…she would end up falling asleep more often than not and I’d be left with a book with a lot of pictures and with me not knowing what it’s about. 

This strengthened my resolve to learn how to read. Which I did pretty early and I have never stopped.

Vicki asked me (okay fine, ask is not what she really did but in the interest of niceness I will use this word) to list down the things I can’t live without. Here’s my list:

1. Andrea - amazing how someone who just came into my life practicallybecame my life.

2. Ruy - this is going to be mushy okay….he shows me my worth by how he treats me.

3. Good food - I would be really really sad if I had to eat yucky boring food all the time

4. My extended family - I’m really into family, my in laws and my own extended family are soooooooper important to me.

5. Wonder - I used to have a ‘been there, done that’ attitude and it made my life boring as hell. Having a sense of wonder makes life fun and exciting.

There Vicki…done. =)

I have already established in this blog that Andrea doesn’t follow us when we try to teach her things. She just stares at us or, worse, ignores us completely. 

We’ve been trying to teach her how to count, but to no avail. She just stares and runs away. Imagine our delight when yesterday while in Pancake House…she took the crayons out one by one and said…

“One, two, tyee, fohr..yey”

Ruy and I were beyond thrilled.  She can count!

• Yes, everyone around me is right, Andrea is no longer a baby. She’s a little girl.
• My extended family can be overwhelming.
• Ruy doesn’t like pokpok red lipstick…I do. =)
• I love silence.
• Despite what people think, I am a simple person. (except in the food department, i’m not simple in this area)
• I like Sunday afternoons.
• Andrea is the smartest baby in the planet…this is my blog and I am the mother so no one can dispute this. =) You are free to exalt your kids in your own blog hahaha
• I love my grandmother to pieces but she drives me nuts as well. Every single day she bugs me to exercise and to look for the  best diet pills out there. She also wants me to take Gluthatione to make me fair. It has never occured to her that I am actually satisfied with how I look…flaws and all.
• This has been a really really really tough year…but I’ve never been happier specially with my little family.
• I am so lucky to have found Ruy…that guy loves me to pieces, sometimes I don’t even know why he does. 
• I read in a book that people usually want attention, affection and love but once it’s being given to them they reject it cause they don’t think they’re worthy of it. I am sooo guilty of this.
• I think I was born in this world to make Andrea feel as loved as she really is. That way she can spend her life spreading that love around…this thought came over me while I was brushing…weird huh?
• I’ve been practicing how to be honest about my feelings about things with Ruy…he’s having a hard time believing, sad cause he’s gotten to used to my hiding my feelings in the past.
• I actually dread Mondays now…I also am taking advantage of offsetting all my extra hours and I really look forward to going home. Am I loving my family more or beginning to hate my work? Hmmmm
• I still adore my team and my boss…
• I created my dream Christmas Gift list for the people I love and like…I’ll share them later.
• I should answer Vicki’s tag or she’ll be pissed. She might stop baking cupcakes…then I’ll be pissed. tsk tsk tsk
• I now see Ruy’s family as my own. Ruy still has a long way to go…he doesn’t dislike my family he just is not as comfortable…my family really takes A LOT of getting used to.

Can you see how many thoughts are buzzing around my mind? They’re all not connected to each other as well.

I’ve been officially on break for a day. On break from my life in general. No baby, no extended family, no work and for the most part no Ruy.

It was much needed and if I may say so myself…well deserved.  With that being said I must say that I’m glad the break is only a day long. In a few hours I’ll be at work, and after that I’ll see my baby and my extended family. I was able to connect with myself enough to have the energy to do the things I have to do….

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
true?              
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t
waste them on  exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will
not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by
driving it faster.  Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Shouls I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logic efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.

And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient

mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.

Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop

can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they

take the water out of the fruity bit so you can get even more of the goodness that way.

Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ration?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.

If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some fo the advantages of participating in  a regular

exercise program?

A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain…good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A: You’re not listening!! …Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.

In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for
you?  

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?            
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing  sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

 A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best
feel-good food  
around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

 A: ‘If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

 A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!

One thing about a budget is that it may appear to be set in stone, but it’s really not. Whenever you put a figure in your budget spreadsheet, that’s the actual value that some good or service cost you, right? But it doesn’t have to stay there. In order to find the extra money in your budget in this tight economy, it’s necessary to go a step further and bring out your inner tightwad.

What Is The Average Cost Of This Good Or Service?

Just because you’ve spent $80/month on cable for a year now, it doesn’t mean that’s an average rate. You can find cheaper services. If you’re willing to give up the service entirely, that column in your budget spreadsheet can have a very pleasing zero in it. While some people fear a drop in the quality of life, that doesn’t have to be the case. When you decide to start cost-cutting seriously, you have to make a commitment to review your lifestyle too, which eventually becomes habit-forming.

Frugality Is A Way of Life

When you’ve committed to find your inner tightwad, you will find that frugal habits are important to change your lifestyle and continue to reap rewards in your budget. That means that you know that turning off the lights when you’re not home is a money saver, even if it doesn’t feel any different. You can filter your own water at home on tap instead of buying filtered water. You can make do without stopping at the local Starbucks for coffee. All these small ways of saving money end up adding up to big bucks over the course of the year.

Vicki thought I made up the part about the white horse…ah the people from Makati don’t know what it’s like to live in a small town hehehe

This picture shows Andrea getting very excited over her discovery…a dried leaf. It’s hard not to get excited with her and to take delight in the tiny things she notices.  I realized that when we stop looking at things with jaded eyes then it’s easier to seek beauty in everything. 

Seek beauty, my new mantra.  Something I see Andrea do everyday. Something I have forgotten to do…amazing what kids can teach you huh?

Just this morning Andrea was awed at what she saw, a white horse running along my lola’s street. She was so excited she wanted to jump on the horse and ride it. We literally had to restrain her so she wouldn’t run to the horse (we can’t have her jumping on horses without proper equestrian riding apparel right?). I admire that courage…I admire that persistance. I can count on one hand the number of times I went for something I wanted that way…without worries, without second thoughts, without wondering if it’s right or if it’s safe, and without caring what other people would think. I wish I could do things with such wild abandon…ah the toddler delights I wish I could experience.

 Ruy and I were engaged for a year and a half before he even gave me my engagement ring.  While this is just an accessory and has no bearing on the future happiness of the couple women (myself included) just can help but obsess over engagement rings.

I got curious and looked into the latest trends in engagement rings and this is what I saw:

Colors, colors and more colors dominate next year’s engagement ring market. While fancy colored diamonds can cost more, they also make a great investment as the demand for these colorful gems continue to rise steadily. In addition to the very popular pink diamonds, you can expect to see more yellow and neutral colored diamonds sold to be mounted on a modern bride’s engagement ring. In addition, weddings themselves will have more colorful themes, making the colored engagement ring a perfect fit.

Other style trends for the engagement ring includes twisted bands, more diamonds on the band, and raised settings. The trend towards more custom looks is bringing forward an appreciation of vintage designs too. Today’s couple is interested in values that will appreciate and make an individual statement. Having a unique diamond setting, as well as a colored diamond gem, is seen as a way to maintain the value of the investment over time, as well as having an heirloom piece that can be cherished for more than one generation.

For some, the value of an engagement ring also has to resonate with their eco-friendly values. For these shoppers, it’s not enough that diamonds and metal settings are natural materials. Instead, they seek to make a social statement through buying conflict-free diamonds and recycled metal settings. This may have a very satisfying personal value, but probably won’t affect the genuine value of the diamond ring, as most diamonds on the retail market are conflict-free these days.

You Are Scrabble

You are incredibly clever and witty. You can talk your way out of (and into) situations easily. You are an excellent decision maker. You are good at weighing the options in front of you. You’re the type of person who can make something out of nothing. You are very resourceful. You know a lot of things. Most importantly, you know when people are wrong - even when they won’t admit it.

I love scrabble, I use to make up words just to win…hehehe

There Are 0 Gaps in Your Knowledge

Where you have gaps in your knowledge: No Gaps! Where you don’t have gaps in your knowledge: Philosophy Religion Economics Literature History Science Art

Uhuh…but there are certainly gaps in this quiz.

You Are Most Like Liv Tyler

“I don’t want to spend so much time obsessing about myself.”

What Modern Bombshell Are You Most Like?

Well…my name is Liv..

In our hearts!! Wahahah

Ruy dreams of celebrating Christmas in our own house. Can you imagine the hassle? We will have to decorate and cook and decorate and cook. I want a hassle free Christmas, just like a friend of mine who was so smart as to make plans of staying in a hotel in las vegas during this season. Isn’t that brilliant? You’ll be surrounded by lovely decors which you didn’t have to pay for and you’ll be eating food which you didn’t cook. Sounds like paradise to me.

Trust me to make the simplest thing complicated like say frying bacon. A task which should be so easy a grade schooler can do it….sigh.

So I cut those bacon slabs as thinly as I could…put a teeny tiny bit of oil on the pan (i had to put a bit of oil cause the bacon slabs were so thick…) and gently placed the first slab of bacon. This caused the oil to start popping and a few drops landed on my hands and arms.  This scared me into taking drastic measures, I decided to stand back and sort of throw the rest of the bacon into the pan.

What happened? I am now a spotted Liv with marks all over my chest and cleavage area. The worst part? Since I now weigh as much as two Jonas brothers…that part was supposed to be the only part I can still show with confidence. Hay. Next time I try remind me that I’m not cut out for this house wife thingamajig

I came across an essay I wrote while in high school. The question was “How do you see yourself in 10 years”. I was practically peeing in my panties when I read my very detailed plan.  Here are bullet points detailing my plan.

- Just finished med school…

- Divorced or Separated

- With a kid

- 1 yaya and 1 maid

- Living far away from my family

- Driving my kid to school every single day

- Driving a periwinkle Rav4

Oh well, I got one thing right…I have a kid now.

I read the Christmas list I posted a few days ago and I was surprised at how simple my wishes are.  What has happened to the woman who wanted anything and everything? Why am I not asking for cars or European cruises?

Have I stopped longing for material things? Have I become satisfied with what I have? Naaah…I still long for some things. I guess regardless of things going wrong I’m still simply happy.

- Last Sunday Andrea said “Again Daddy pis?”, needless to say Ruy and I were bowled over.

- She ate…and loved ampalaya. Yey. She kept on saying “More pis!”

- She responds to complex questions. Here’s our conversation last  Sunday while in church

Me: Andrea where’d you go?

Andrea: There (while pointing to the small altar)

Me: Oh really? And what did you do there?

Andrea: Pey (which means pray)

- She ate pizza for the first time last Sunday. She liked the meatball and cheese but didn’t particularly like the pineapple.  

- Is becoming more and more affectionate with me and Ruy. She just keeps on embracing and snuggling…it’s wonderful.

- Likes dancing and listening to music (not particularly singing). We spend hours watching musicals like Wizard of Oz and Annie.

- Is very confident with her ability to do things…yet is generally careful. She pauses before climbing a step, looks for a place to hold before going down a step.

- Hates shouting. Whenever people shout she gets upset even if the person’s not shouting at her.

- Likes silence…very much like me. Andrea and I sometimes lay at night just hugging without speaking.

- Likes playing pretend. She pretends to cook, to eat, to feed her dolls, to bathe her dolls.

I’m pretty sure I forgot a lot of things so I might do this again in a couple of days…meanwhile here’s my big baby girl.

Ever since I started working my christmas list has practically disappeared. I guess it has something to do with the fact that I work for my money now and a whole lot of things seem too impractical to even think about let alone to wish for.

I decided this year though that I will make my Christmas list once again. Maybe I will be the one to give myself the things I want, maybe it will come from other people, or maybe I will not get these things at all. The important thing is, whatever I want…I deserve it and I deserve the chance to wish for it.

1. Philosophy Line from Beauty Bar — I want the body wash or the perfume. I still have the rest of the line.

2. Slacks - I currently have 4 slacks (brown, pinstriped, gray and black)…I want more

3. Polo Shirts/Blouses - for the office

4. More shoes - I’ve been on a buying frenzy lately but I want more

5. Quiet Time somewhere without TV

6. Mini Laptop - (this will tie in with my big plan for next year…I’m definitely getting this. I’m already looking at wholesale electronics shops to get the best price)

7. Quiet Time for Reading

8. Time to hang out with my friends

9. Dinner with my team without any work talk

10. DVD of the show Coupling

That’s it…that’s my wish list. What’s yours? (I’m asking Van, Jen, Aves, Numi, Vicki)

Last week I was chatting with two colleagues who were visiting from France.

GP: Have dinner with us. We’re going to Makati

Me: I can’t

GP:  Why?

Me:  You know I have a baby…I need to go home to my baby.

GDM: Oh you have a baby? How old’s your baby?

Me:  She’s 19 months

GDM: Pbhht…she’s not a baby. A baby is below 1 year.

Me: SHE’S A BABY

GP: Until when?

Me: Until FOREVER!

Now as I look at Andrea’s pictures though, I can’t help but wonder if they’re correct.

Ruy and I are homebodies. We really would rather stay at home and relax. I know my family would scoff when they hear me say this because they think I go out too much but I honestly enjoy staying at home and watching DVDs while Andrea bounces up and down the bed.

Our current obsession is Iron Chef. We were lucky enough to come across a DVD of the show and we are hooked. We are backseat chefs you see…we like commenting on how the chefs cook and how they could have done things better.

The problem is we get so engrossed that we end up craving everything they’re cooking. Last night they  cooked buffalo and let me tell you they made the most sinful dishes (no boiling or healthy grilling there, most are cooked in butter, wine, oil or deep fried. ) which got me drooling. Now my quest is to find any resto which serves buffalo here in the Philippines. Any ideas?

I was 16. My aunt and I just came from our regular grocery shopping in Unimart and we were walking back to our condo.

I don’t remember what we were talking about. I just remember opening up to her for the first time. I told her “I have no feelings. I know what I should be feeling at any given situation, but I don’t know what I really feel.”

I knew then that it wasn’t normal. My friends in high school were all high strung and very emotional. They cried when their crushes became involved with other people, they became giddy with happiness when these crushes glanced at them. Meanwhile, I couldn’t even develop a crush.

I’ve changed a lot since then. I can feel now…honest. I still don’t feel things as passionately as other people, but I do feel things. I was lucky enough to have a mother who willingly paid for therapy…Ruy who took me to most of these sessions and Ruy who patiently endured my mood swings as I learned how to moderate the emotions I was feeling for the first time.

10 years after that confession however, I am still curious about my lack of emotions at that time. I couldn’t understand what made me different from other people. Was I just weird?

I am so happy I came across a certain book that offered me an explanation which really made sense. What I had at that time was the Good Girl Syndrome. Okay the term is something I made up but it basically means that I have repressed all of my emotions. Why would I do that? This usually happens when kids realized that only their positive emotions are rewarded and accepted. I am only a good girl when I don’t cry, I’m only a good girl if I don’t argue, I’m only a good girl when I don’t get mad.

The child then learns to repress these negative emotions. The problem with emotions however is that it’s practically all or nothing. You can’t repress one and not the others. I was then able to repress all my emotions.

The psych major in me is reeling from this discovery. Finally I have an answer. One question down…a million to go.

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you’re a dreamer, but you’re not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?Take the Test to Find Out.

Ruy and I had a very busy weekend. Saturday was probably our busiest weekend this quarter. Yes we did have fun but my goodness were we stressed out of our minds. 

Andrea had her second  Jollibee birthday party and she had the time of her life. This is actually her first time to see a live Jollibee mascot and boy did she work that mascot. She was hugging the mascot, touching the butt of jollibee, kicking jollibee, trying to climb the poor mascot. You name it, she tried it. 

Mommy was of course trying to capture each and every moment of this and was extremely happy that she got a 4GB memory stick to make sure she has enough space for every single moment. Imagine my chagrin when I realized that the card I bought was faulty. I had so many beautiful shots which disappeared. The person I bought memory stick from suggests formatting the card. I will try to do this tonight. I hope it will work. 

Here’s one shot from last weekend’s party.

Times are hard. I think this is something we really can’t deny. When you have a country filing for bankruptcy…you know rock bottom isn’t too far away. Times are scary that’s true and I just try to look at the small blessings I have.

I know it sounds simple but sometimes looking for small blessings can be sooo hard. So here are my small blessings for the day:

1. Ruy (I realized yesterday what a genuinely nice guy he is)

2. Andrea

3. Gas prices (the gas station near our house sells unleaded gas for 46.9, that’s 12 peso less than around 8 months ago)

4.  group health insurance rates I was able to get courtesy of my company.

5. My job

6. A family who really dotes on my daughter.

7. A team I adore.

I’ll leave it at 7 for now, that should be enough for the week. =)

You hardly hear me talking about my husband. Some people tease me that he’s not being given enough air time here in my blog. I would have to say that my husband is not very comfortable with this kind of attention. He doesn’t like having people talk about him or people reading about him.

I will now go against my husband’s wishes by talking about him…just a tiny bit.

Ruy is trying hard to be healthier by being more involved in sports. He has basketball on Mondays and bowling on Fridays. It often frustrates me to see him playing basketball because he ALWAYS ends up limping home. He has Plantar Fasciitis and the normal basketball shoes don’t support his heel enough.

I couldn’t understand why he would subject himself to that kind of torture every single week. Luckily he found a gel cushion to be placed inside his basketball shoes which alleviates some of the discomfort.

Ruy claims that he needs this exercise to be healthy. I personally think he needs it for the socialization, I think he needs time away from his wife and 1 year old daughter.

I have been feeling out of sorts for the past couple of days. I think it must be the stress and tension brought about by the last couple of months. I have been trying to make sure I won’t snap and that I manage everything I should be managing. I think now that it’s over my body and mind really really need a break.

The stress is showing on my face too. My skin is not clear and I’m beginning to break out. My pimples are not bad enough to warrant acne treatment but they are very much visible.

I was lucky enough to be given a half day leave today and hopefully that would give me enough time to sort things out and to be back in top shape by tomorrow.

YEAH RIGHT.

I am the living proof that this doesn’t work. I have been doing nothing for 3 years and I just keep on gaining weight. I think it’s time I change my game plan don’t you think? A little alli and a whole lot of exercise should do the trick.

The only problem is trying to get my lazy ass off this chair.

A lot of people say that Ruy and I are so lucky to have a house which everyone thinks is an asset. Robert Kiyosaki would disagree though, and I think I’m on his side. We have yet to move into our home and yet the amount of money we’re pouring into it is incredible.

The paint which we spent a lot on is beginning to chip. The ball lock pins used for the french doors magically disappeared. Aaaargggh. So many things to spend on.

I found the name of the therapist I was talking about in my previous post. His name is Dr. Harville Hendrix. He wrote the book “Getting the Love You Want.” THere I feel better now.

I have at one point confessed through this blog that I am addicted to Oprah. It’s not Oprah herself that I love, it’s her guests and the wealth of wisdom they bring. I think of Oprah as a buffet of insights and ideas. I just pick the ones which tickle my fancy and ignore the rest.

The Oprah Buffet stuffed me with relationship insight last night.

The show I watched was a follow up show on a couple who wanted to quit smoking. During the first show, the couple gave their sides of the story on why they smoke why they cannot quit, etc. You can see from their dynamics that the addiction to smoking was the symptom of something bigger. Oprah and the Dr. Oz saw that too. They called a marriage therapist and yesterday’s show revolved around that.

The therapist (I feel so bad about forgetting his name) really gave me so much to think about. He started out by saying that we are in relationships to heal all our past issues. This is why relationships are hard. You have two people with two lifetime’s worth of issues trying to heal at the same time. The most difficult part is the fact that more often than not, these people don’t even know that they have issues or that they need to heal. They just feel themselved becoming offended, hurt, slighted by things which trigger past issues. 

This therapist goes on to label the first three parts of a relationship. He starts with the honeymoon stage or the romantic stage. This is usually the only thing we see in movies. This is why so many people are disillusioned when they reach the other stages. He goes on to describe this part as the anaesthesia we need in order to prepare ourselves for the other parts.

The second part is the power struggle.  Unfortunately Andrea woke up at this point and I missed the detailed explanation. I would think though that it’s that point when you try to establish the dynamics of the relationship. Which person’s brand of butter do we really buy? (Ruy and I used different brands for practically everything and reaching an agreement was not easy).  How do we decide what to do over the weekend. Who plays which role in rearing our child? Etc, etc, etc.  I think Ruy and I got here last year and I think we’re slowly establishing our roles and getting ready to go to the next stage.

The most difficult and probably the longest stage is the healing part. This is where we try to resolve our childhood hurts, our issues. Do you know the saying you marry your mother or your father…this is apparently the reason. You marry someone like them in order for you to resolve issues you’ve had. The therapist pointed out that we end up marrying people who somehow manage to bring out 95% of our issues. You know those traits in your husbands you find annoying? Try to figure out which issue you have with yourself mirrors that.

The therapist said that before even beginning the healing we need to ask ourselves and our partners: What does a perfect marriage look like to you. Such a simple question yet I know how powerful it can be. Most of our frustrations come from our personal expectations….our expectations which our partners might not share. It’s extremely important to know what the other person is looking for. 

I texted the question to Ruy last night and he promised to talk to me today about his answers. I better begin to think of my answer as well cause I honestly don’t know. 

We have all, at least at one time or another, longed for a perfect day or a perfect weekend or a perfect vacation. The problem lies in the fact that our ideal days/weekends/vacations requires some resources we don’t have. I was driving home yesterday when I thought of cooking up my ideal weekend working within my means and limitations at that time (so no breakfast in London Vicki)

Here’s my weekend:

Saturday:

7:30 - wake up, play with Andrea
8:00 - Feed Andrea breakfast then take her outside so she can run and play with other kids.
9:00 - Bathe Andrea, dress her up, set her up with her videos and watch the videos together.
10:00 - Give Andrea to her yaya. Watch Dexter with Ruy
12:00 - have lunch with Ruy’s family.
1:00 - Andrea will be sleeping so Ruy and I can relax
3:00 - Take Andrea to any of the ff: UP, Bookstore, Timezone.
4:00 - Bring Andrea to my mom’s place. She can swim or just play.
7:00 - Have dinner with my family
8:30 - Go home, pass by Pepeton’s to get their Catfish Salad (yum), maybe pass by Mr. Kebab for Ruy’s snack
9:00 - play with Andrea at home
10:00 - Watch DVD with Ruy while eating our snacks…yum

Sunday:

Spent with Ruy’s family–basically just lounge around all day and then hear mass at night.

Wooohooo…sounds great. So what about you? What’s your ideal weekend (within reason please Vicki).

Stole this from Aggie :

1. What color is your toothbrush? I have 3 toothbrushes. One in my lola’s house, one at work and one at home. They’re pink, yellow and yellow respectively.

2. Name one person that made you smile today? Andrea. She was trying to wake me up this morning, I wouldn’t wake up (had migraine and a very very stressful night) so she was screaming. Eventually she said “Gmorning Andea”…to remind me that I should greet her that way (as I do every morning) already. So cute right?

3. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Working on some excel computations.

4. What is your favorite candy bar? I use to really like Twix, I also enjoy Smores and Cadbury.

5. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes, both the one where women are stripping and the kind where men strip. I feel so worldly now.

6. What is the last thing you said aloud? 4 Consecutive Lessons (replying to Affiekin’s question)

7. What is the best ice cream flavor? Wow, this really depends on the brand. I generally like Strawberry, Pistachio and Caramel(Walang number eight?)

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water which I had to drink to swallow the Mefenamic Acid I took

10. What are you wearing right now? White Ruffly shirt with a chinese color and giant buttons, gray pinstriped pants

11. What was the last thing you ate? Tuna Pie from Jollibee

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? NOOOOOO…damn it. I want to though

13. When was the last time you ran? Last Sunday. Andrea and I were strolling and she suddenly started running. I initially didn’t run cause I thought she couldn’t go fast but she was soooo fast I had to run cause she was getting away.

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Parmesan

15. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on friendster? My friends regarding the loss of my mobile phone

16. Do you take vitamins daily? Nope, si Andrea nga hindi eh

17. Do you like Chinese food better than pizza? Chinese food…lechon macau…yum

18. Do you drink your soda with a straw? I try to. I rarely drink soda though

19. What did your last text message say? Ruy, telling me that he’s supporting me even if I’ve been having terrible luck…or something to that effect

20. What are you doing tomorrow? WORKING like crazy

21. Where is your dad? Don’t know22. Look to your left, what do you see? A red wall

23. What color is your watch? Nada.

24. What do you think of when you think of Australia? Tarongga Zoo…yummy prawns…love Australia

25. Do you use chapstick? Nope

26. What is your birthstone color? Peridot - green

27. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive through? Depends, if we want Andrea to have fun then we go in. She doesn’t eat anything though.

28. What’s your favorite number? 8 and 10

29. Do you have a dog? Not anymore. My baby died =(

30. Last guy you talked on the phone with? Prospective employee asking for an extension for a deadline I gave him

31. Last girl you talked on the phone with? A girl who dialled the wrong number

32. Have you met anyone famous? Yeah several of them. Nothing exciting enough for me to remember

33. Any plans today? I am dying to go home

34. Ever go to college? Yes

35. Do you dye your hair? I did before. I stopped around 4 months before getting pregnant because my hair was dying then.

36. Last song listened to? Crash Into Me -Dave Matthews Band

37. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Nope…why the hell would I do that?

38. Do you have a maid service clean your house? Well, we have a stay in.

39. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Nothing.I hate wearing shoes.

40. Are you jealous of anyone? Nope

41. Is anyone jealous of you? I suspect there is one, although I think the jealousy is based on imaginary reasons.

42. Do you love anyone? Of course

43. Do any of your friends have children? Some of them. Most do actually.

44. What do you usually do during the day? Work work work.

45. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? YES!

46. Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily? Definitely.

47. Do you like cats? No.

48. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Nope

49. How did you get your worst scar? Waxing allergy.

50. What is it that you wanted to have in a long time but havent? Rest and go to the beach with Andrea. Go Affie and Vicki and Numi!!

Going through my stuff, I saw so many things I bought which have still remained unused. I am wasting perfectly good money on things I thought I HAD TO HAVE right at that moment.  I have tons of books, swimwear, baby clothes, DVDs, etc all wasting away. I really need to kick myself the next time I get the urge to shop.

I have whined about my weight gain for months. I have talked about how I kept on gaining weight and not being able to lose them. This is all I’ve done though, I have done nothing but whine and whine and whine some more.  Nope, I’ve barely exercised. Nope I’m not dieting. Nope I’m not even drinking health drinks like orovo. All I’ve done is whine.

And I wonder why I’m not losing weight…

A month after I have paid for my car insurance I received another car insurance quote in the mail. The annoying thing is that this quote has much better rates and better coverage. My previous insurance has removed the clause allowing free towing (which I used twice last year) and so I now have to pay for my own towing service if ever I have car troubles. The quote I received covered 5 towing services….5!!! Talk about wrong timing, it reminds me of Alanis Morisette’s song…Isn’t it Ironic…don’t you think?

I have never had problems with acne. Growing up I would have a maximum of 4 pimples on my face and that’s it. Interestingly enough, despite my luck when it comes to acnes, I would focus on that one annoying pimple on my face. I would moan and groan and whine to no end.Why do I do that to myself? So many great things around me yet I focus on the small negative. I should readjust my perspective. 

I have forgotten 80% of the things I learned in school but there are a handful of life lessons from some teachers which I still remember, probably because they are all useless or inappropriate:

- A woman should have black panties when she gets married (this coming from a Physics teacher)

- Some men like hairy legs (ulk, this coming from a Home Economics professor)

- Pineapple makes men’s cum sweet tasting….(Biology teacher)

- Song of Songs is the most bastos book in the Bible…

- Peter was the most ‘bibo’ and OA among the apostles.

- Women are allowed to date multiple guys but men cannot date multiple women….(Home Economics teacher)

- The line of hair coming from the belly button down to your pubic area is sexy (Huwat? damn)  

WHAT THE HELL WERE MY TEACHER’S TEACHING ME? I think I’m going to home school Andrea…hehehe 

Wall street is all agog right now. Everyone’s talking about AIG and Lehmann brothers. Wall street is on the verge of collapse they say. Ironically the peso weaked vs the dollar as of my last check. Am I the only one freaking out about this? 

It’s great when someone believes in you….as U2 aptly states: 

I and I in the sky

You make me feel like I can fly

So high

Elevation

Love

Lift me up out of these blues

Won’t you tell me something true

I believe in you 

I hate Vicki and her yummy cupcakes. I ate 3 cupcakes yesterday. That’s not right…it’s very very wrong.  You know what’s worse? After eating 3 cupcakes I found myself longing for her orange marmalade. Damn it Vicki…you’re EVIL. But damn those cupcakes are so good. Vicki can you make cupcakes with diet pills in them? That way I will not have such self remorse after bingeing on cupcakes?

I am very week. Exactly 10 days after selling my 3-day old mp3 player I found myself looking at ipods again. I was drawn by the yummy colors of the latest ipod releases. I had to remind myself that I had to sell my mp3 player because I only used it for around 3 hours on the first day and it lay forgotten the next couple of days. I am really not into personal music players. I like playing music on my laptop and singing my ass off in my car but I really have no use for an ipod….BUT I WANT THE NEW ONE. hahaha Illogical much?

In one episode of Sex and the City, Carrie lamented how all her money and savings have gone into paying for her Manolos. She said that she might literally become the woman who lives in her shoe. I realize that I might just be the woman who lives in her books and magazines. The amount of money I spend on these things is INSANE!!! Yeah I’ll think 8 times before I buy coffee from Starbucks but I’ve spent thousands and thousands on books.MUST STOP. 

My weekend was the most stressful part of the week.

Friday, I offset my extra hours at work to go to the opening of SM Marikina. HUGE mistake. I had to drive from my office to the mall and the drive from the road to the parking took me around 45 minutes. The stress was agravated by the fact that my gas tank started turning red and I was afraid my car was going to stall while going to the parking building.

I got to SM only to find a horde of people there already. WTF! Jollibee literally was a hell hole…and so were the other shops. Ruy and I found each other after an hour of waiting and we went around a bit.When we got home, Andrea had colds and was grumpier than normal. She also didn’t want to sleep in her crib because she couldn’t breathe. I had to wake up every 2 hours just to pacify her. The other hours were Ruy’s….hehehe.

Saturday. I woke up early, played with her a bit then brought her down so she can be with her yaya. Meanwhile, I stayed in the room to work on some details for my meeting with my boss later that day. While working I was bugging Ruy for our sched so I know my time line and then we had a little tiff. Then we went to the grocery, had lunch, then I went to work for around 5 hours. Then they picked me up, we brought Andrea to the toystore, then to the arcade then we had dinner, then we met Ruy’s friends.

We got home at 11pm and Andrea fell asleep till around 2am. She was crying incessantly and wouldn’t sleep. Ruy decided that we were going to take her with us to the car and drive around. This usually works when she’s not feeling well. True enough, she did fall asleep and we were all able to sleep by around 3 am.

So now let’s talk about Sunday. Ruy woke up at 7 to go to Farmer’s market and though I tried I couldn’t wake up long enough to go with him. So I slept some more till it was 7:30 and it was time for Andrea to wake up. Sunday was spent taking care of Andrea and then at 4pm we went to church and then to the mall to have dinner. We got home at 8:30. I worked till 11:30 pm till I fell asleep. Andrea only woke up twice while I was sleeping….that would have been okay except we had to wake up at 6:30 to prepare for work.

So here I am…exhausted, drained, feeling weak and in dire need of energy pills yet I will be at work for 13 hours today.Why do I do this to myself again?

“Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig”….

BRILLIANT! hahaha

God…please let me finish this book today, I need it for work…please please please

4 Simple rules:

1. Copy
2. Paste
3. Enter your answers
4. Tag 4 people

* Four places I go to, over and over: (notice how these places are mostly about buying food. I guess this is really a form of relaxation for me.)

1. Grocery - Shopwise, SM, Robinson’s, etc. I go around once a week, there was a time when I went to the grocery 4 times in a week.

2. Work - my life now is divided into: chores, work, eating out, and travelling to and fro these places.

3. My lola’s house - to drop off Andrea every day

4. National Bookstore - I spend so much on books and office supplies it’s gotten totally ridiculous.

* Four people who email me regularly: (these aren’t really people)

1. My boss - i guess this is normal

2. Baby Center for Andrea updates

3. Job Applicants

4.  Blog Comments from my different blogs

* Four of my favorite places to eat at:

1. M Cafe

2. Cyma

3. Paseo Uno

4. Chili’s for sentimental reasons.

* Four places I’d rather be:

1. Home with Ruy and Andrea

2. In my dream house
3. Greece

4. In a country where the government gives me proper benefits and makes me feel secure

* Four TV shows I could watch over and over:

1. Friends
2. Criminal Minds
3. A Haunting (Discovery Channel)
4. 30 Rock

* Four people I am tagging:

1. Ruy

2. Jen

3. Van

4. Litzie

Your Theme Song is Beautiful Day by U2

“Sky falls, you feel like It’s a beautiful day Don’t let it get away”You see the beauty in life, especially in ordinary everyday moments. And if you’re feeling down, even that seems a little beautiful too.

What’s Your Theme Song?

Guys, I’m going to be terribly busy this week so I’ll be quiet while I try (try being the operative word) to do everything I need to do. Aaaah

Vicki made me take this yesterday and as much as I love this song…I don’t know…

Your Love Song Is

Yellow by Coldplay”Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you, And everything you do, Yeah they were all yellow” You’re so in love, it’s like a drug.

What Love Song Are You?

My first cooking lesson is now over. IT WAS GREAT! I loved the adobo I cooked and and and it was unbelievably easy. Wooohooo

I know I know the name sounds funny, but it’s a fun fun fun software. Kinda like Twitter but better!! Check it out…I’ve been plurking since last night and I love it so far here’s my personal plurk

My grandmother is an excellent cook. Her dishes are literally to die for. I have decided to make her teach me how to cook everyday Pinoy dishes.

My cooking experiments have been quite successful and I think it’s time to take this cooking thing to the next level. My first lesson will be this Wednesday, she’s teaching me how to cook adobo. Here’s our schedule:

Week 1 - Adobo

Week 2 - Mechado

Week 3 - Beef Steak

Week 4 - Pochero

Week 5 - Nilaga (yes this seems simple but I’ve tasted too many nilagas which tasted like Water)

Week 6 - Lechon Kawali (Ruy’s crazy over this)

Week 7 - Escabecheng Tagalog

Week 8 - Frying 101

Week 9 - The Art of Using the Pressur Cooker

Week 10 - The Turbo Cooker

Week 11 - Sinigang

Week 12 - Morcon

I can’t wait!! By the way, she doesn’t know she’s going to be teaching me all of this, right now she just thinks she’s teaching me adobo this Wednesday. =)

Yes I admit I am a procrastinator. Can you believe that after all this time we still haven’t moved to our house? We’re just missing curtains and some storage stuff but we’re almost set. It’s not like moving with be difficult, we won’t even need to get the moving services of professional movers. We just need our own hands and feet to move, yet we still haven’t.

Why?

I honestly don’t know. I think the entire meaning of the move scares me. Or maybe I’m just lazy.

Jen never fails to surprise me. She always always always has something new up her sleeve. i never know which of her plans will push through and which ones will pop up. Dynamic doesn’t even begin to describe her. From her Las Vegas travels to her trip to Ohio. To her moving from one state to another. Next thing I know she’s asking me about Europe. WHAT? Where did that come from? Apparently she wants to move back to Manila but Eric is not sold on the idea so she wants to compromise by moving to Europe. Wow…hahaha.

Pardon the cheese:

So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

(chorus)

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That shes my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
cause Ive lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where theres no second chance to tell her how I feel

I sometimes forget to do this. Let me correct that statement, I forget to do this often….yup more often than not.

I am so excited, Ruy and I have a project coming up. We’re going to be planning and researching and saving. I am not going to spill the beans but I can tell you that it would entail looking at cheap hotels and affordable flights.

I think it’s about time we did this. We haven’t done this since getting married and I think we deserve it. I could very easily plan the whole thing but I want it to be a joint project. Something we’ll do together from start to finish.

Wish us luck!

I was walking from National Bookstore back to work when I saw this guy wearing a shirt which says “Like what you see? Wait till you meet Mini Me” and then there’s an arrow pointing down there.

I was disgusted beyond belief. What was this guy thinking? I am a big fan of funny t shirts but theres a line that should be drawn between funny and disgusting. I guess what made that shirt bad is the wearer…that guy was gross. Hahaha

“(If you seek wisdom), do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought.” ~Matsuo Basho

Wow.  What a revolutionary way of thinking, amazing considering how this person lived thousands of years ago.

Get Your Sexy Name

Mwahahaha

This test is spot on!

Your Personality Cluster is Extraverted Thinking

You are: Organized and logical - a master at puzzles Competitive in almost any arena of life Objective when necessary, but passionate about what you truly love Intolerant of excuses and incompetence

What’s Your Personality Cluster?

Thanks Litzie for this one.

~Start Copy~

Here are the Rules:

1. List the things that make you Happy and those that make you Sad.

2. Add your Blog to the list. Feel free to add all your other Blogs.

3. Tag other online friends you know.Toni’s Attachments, Cecile2’s-Small and Simple Things, Lara’s Pinay dot US, Lara’s My Blog Entry, Lara’s Byaheng Pinay, Living A’ La Mode, Bits and Pieces, My Life in this Wonderful World, My Online World, Ozzy’s Mom, Me,Myself+2, Kidd Designs, Fun|Fierce|Fabulous, Eds Mommy Life, Just Me.. Eds, My Precious Niche, I Am Mommy, All About The Memories, Enchanted Play, Just My Scrap, My life is Peachy , Celebrating life , belly, baby and beyond, All Things Me, Feels Like Home, A Day of Play, Because Life is Fun, Tints of My Heart, My BIG Picture, Tailgater Network, Merger Guru, Beauty and Madness Wordpress, Beauty and Madness, Feeding my Baby, A Taste of Married Life, YOU

What Makes Me Happy?

~Andrea

~ Money!

~ Andrea’s developments, milestones

~ When Andrea runs to me and grabs hold of my legs as if she doesn’t want to let go.

~ My team

~ My boss

~ My work …naks

~ My family (immediate and extended)

~ Time for relaxing

~ Trufettes de France

~ Caramel Ice Cream

~ Haagen Daz Strawberry Ice Cream

~ M Cafe Sunday Brunch…to die for!

~ Beautiful Office Supplies

~ Cleaning my house

~ Great books

~ Thought provoking songs, books, sentences, statements

~ Nice chat with friends

What Makes Me Sad?

~Stink

~ Dirt

~ Andrea getting sick (thank goodness this hasn’t happened)

~ When bad things happen to good people

~ Lack of control

~ Knowledge of impending doom

~ Corruption

~ The fact that I might have to leave the country just to have the best possible life for my daughter.

~ Death

~ My phone with all of Andrea’s pictures and videos getting stolen.

~ Stupidity and incompetence.

Tagging Jen, Vicki and Affiekins.

I have repeatedly talked about this year being an unlucky year for me. I was looking through my photos and saw this. I have a happy, healthy and smart baby…how could I have ever thought I was unlucky?

The path we take to avoid our destiny is usually what leads us there.

Thought provoking isn’t it? I have seen this happen to myself one time to many yet I have never gotten around to putting the experience into words. It took one movie about a Panda who is destined to do Kung Fu to remind me of this.

The concept of destiny both intimidates and comforts me. 

The idea of something encompassing that dictates my future regardless of what I do is overwhelming.  It also makes my day to day decisions and plans seem like a complete and utter waste of time.

It also is comforting to know that there’s a bigger purpose for my small actions. It’s nice knowing that every single thing happening to me, be it good or bad, has a purpose. It all makes sense somehow.

Hi guys, I’m back after a loooong break. I will be updating my blogs soon, meanwhile I have to get to work….later!

P*tang*na.

Someone swiped my phone while I was manning the jobfair booth. I was in the middle of texting Ruy, someone wanted to ask for flyers, we ran out, i turned to get it and when I looked at my phone it was gone.

All of Andrea’s baby pictures, all my memories, gone. I want to die. I seriously do.

Contrary to what people might think…I don’t like attention. I don’t like being photographed, I don’t like videos of myself and I don’t like drawing attention to myself.

For some weird reason my company has repeatedly thrust me in situations I am uncomfortable in.  Last year it was a 2 page article in a magazine about me, and 15 minutes ago I was interviewed for a short clip on TV. Yes, me sans make-up and with extremely messy hair. AAARGH

What next? A movie?

*sigh* be still my heart

(With music from The King and I)

“Whenever I feel afraid,

I whistle a happy tune…”

Yup, I was whistling a whole lot last Thursday. I had a meeting with the company CEO the next day and I was beyond nervous. I really hadnothing to worry about. I’ve done everything I’m supposed to do behind the scenes and on the stage. I’ve kept everything that’s supposed to be kept, I’ve said everything (well almost everything) that’s supposed to be said. I shouldn’t be nervous. But NO…I was nervous.

I hate going to meetings unprepared, specially if these meetings are with the company CEO who I only get to really talk to around once or twice a year. The problem is, this CEO rarely gives an agenda for our meetings, and when he does…you only stick to it for around 5 minutes.

It’s vital to be ready for anything and everything.

“Just for him!
Though the man may be
My Lord and Master,
Though he may study me
As hard as he can,
The smile beneath my smile
He’ll never see “

He told me he was very pleased with something I recently did. I said thank you but my face remained blank. He stared at me for a really long time trying to decipher what I’m really thinking and feeling. I was inwardly rolling my eyes. There’s no way he will be able to tell what’s really going on in my head. I have mastered the blank expression I use in meetings. I only show emotions I want to show….nope, there are practically no slips here. Ruy can attest to how good I am with my blank and stoic emotions.

Some might wonder why I choose to keep my expression stoic when the statement was good….because it can’t always be good. If he sees how I react to a good statement and compares to how I would react to a negative comment…then I become too transparent…and that’s not good. I loose my calm and logical demeanor. I like hearing everything he has to say first…then stewing over things for days and weeks…before I show emotions.

3 days after the meeting…I’m softly whistling another happy tune. *sigh* This is tough.

While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows,
I’m afraid.

While the entire world collectively groans “I hate Mondays” I am singing a different tune. I LOVE MONDAY MORNINGS.

I love the fact that Ruy drives me to work every Monday.

I love going to work really early (I’m in by around 8am).

I love being the first person in my office.

I love the alone time and the silence.

I love how productive I am when I’m all alone.

I love the long working day (I usually stay in the office for 11-12 hours)

I love love love love my Monday Rush…

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

The average secretary’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag.

All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

There are only four words in the English language which end in “-dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

Los Angeles’s full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reinade los Angeles de Porciuncula”. And can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, “L.A.”

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.

The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.

When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state’s third largest city.

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s “Its A Wonderful Life.”

A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the “1″ encased in the “shield” and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.

It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

Who’s that playing the piano on the “Mad About You” theme? Paul Reiser himself.

The male gypsy moth can “smell” the virgin female gypsy moth from 1.8 miles away.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

The name for Oz in the “Wizard of Oz” was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence “Oz.”

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.

John Lennon’s first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

‘Stewardesses’ is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

Our house has been a series of sudden decisions. It started when I decided that the room was too small for me and that since I had no plans of having a baby any time soon, then we should only have one room.

Then I got pregnant, so in the middle of constructions we turned the living room into Andrea’s room.

Then I bugged Ruy about having a dirty kitchen. I cannot stand the small of frying fish inside the house and I really wanted to keep the interior of the house as clean as possible. A big chunk of money was then spent creating a wall, to cover the back area of our house to create a little area for our laundry and our dirty kitchen. 

This basically removed all ventilation coming from that area. Ruy was cooking 2 nights ago and he was sweating like a pig. We don’t have any space for electric fans there so I guess we’ll have to make do  with portable fans.

Ruy turned 3-0 last Friday!!! Woohooo….I can now tease him about us being in 2 different decades…hehehe.

Ruy was being a pain…he wouldn’t tell me his wishes and his goals. Grrr…

WARNING: SERIOUS FEMALE TOPIC, IF YOU’RE EASILY GROSSED OUT DO NOT READ.

I cannot believe how heavy my menstrual flow is. AAARRRGGGHHH. I feel weak and I feel like I’m about to pass out.  The OB gave me some pills to trigger my period so I can start with my hormonal therapy. She basically wants to make sure my body gets rid of all the waste/junk in my system before the therapy…and my body is now happily obliging…much to my own detriment apparently cause I feel HORRIBLE now.

This is my blog in a nutshell

I look back at the last year and I can safely say that it’s one of the, if not THE, most difficult year of my life. It’s been crazy, challenging, hard. I have often felt so drained and frustrated and distraught.

I was somehow able to make it through the storm that was my 25th year.  I can’t help but feel proud of that simple fact. I’m still here, I didn’t give up and I still have the people around me who really matter.  I think that somehow makes the year almost a success right?

Another success? Andrea!! Every single thing she does makes me beam with pride. I can’t believe one small human being can make me feel that much pride, happiness and love….

I’m getting mushy, I better stop.

I’m so happy. I spent a big chunk of the weekend reading. I know some people would find this boring but it was wonderful for me, I can’t believe I was able to read that much over the weekend. Due to the amount of time I spent reading I was able to finish my 10th book.

Can you believe that? It’s  just August and I only have 2 books left to complete before the year ends.

I also spent a considerable amount of time last weekend in our new house.  I spent the entire Saturday morning there chopping and cooking. This was followed by washing and cleaning. Then for around 30 minutes I just sat on the couch and relaxed. You won’t believe how much I’ve been dying to have that chance to sit on a couch and relax. I’ve barely had the chance to do that in the past couple of months (years even).

Then of course there’s Andrea.  I would always try to take her with me when I go to the house. It’s our little bonding session. She was so behaved because she saw a spider…no she wasn’t afraid of it…she was mesmerized.  She stood under the spider for a good 3 minutes. She then ran to me screaming “mommy…” and then she said “no more” while  making the spider gesture with her fingers.

Good times.

Saw this picture in Post secret I love what it says: CLICK HERE TO SEE THE PICTURE

I spent a considerable amount of time in our new house this weekend. I have told you guys in the past how in love I am with our lights in the sala and kitchen. I have also bought this BEAUTIFUL light for Andrea’s room.

Our room is a different story altogether though. I can’t get over how ugly our lights are. It really frustrates me that it’s our room that has no aesthetics when it comes to lighting.  I promise not to spend money this month but I’m so tempted to look at the different fixtures from maxim lighting.

Should I? Hmmm

Can you believe it? It’s only August and I’m only 3 books away from accomplishing my new year’s resolution….wooohoo

Your thoughts become who you are…

I know this but I seem to have forgotten this lately…

Some quizzes about Ruy:

Your Relationship Will Last… A Long Time!

Your guy is ideal, as close to Mr. Perfect as he could be If you took this quiz, you may be doubting that… Don’t! No guy is perfect but yours comes really close You guys will last for many years, as long as you appreciate him!

He’s a Great Boyfriend

You guy definitely loves you and knows how to treat you right. You have a five star boyfriend - so make sure you treat him right too!

Looks like someone will be conceited tonight….hahaha

I have just finished my 8th book for the year…YEY! For my eight book I decided to forgo my academic and nerdy books and jump into the vampire bandwagon with

I will admit that when I first saw this book, I really wanted to buy it because of the cover. You won’t believe how attractive this cover is to me. It’s so symbolic to!! I was able to stop myself from buying it before but I succumbed to temptation this week. I LOVED IT.

No, to be honest, the plot is not that great. The characters are wishy washy but there’s something so attractive about the kind of love they have.

Do you remember how you felt when you started dating the guy you’re with now? The hypersensitivity to every breath, movement, touch, smell. How your mind works on overdrive just to process every statement, every sigh? The longing to be with that person at all times? This is the kind of dynamic you see here and it’s so sensual without being sexual. Something women love and men don’t understand.

It shows a certain kind of intoxication with each other, once again very reminiscent of a new relationship.

However, as much as I love this book, I cannot believe this is considered as young adult lit. I would NEVER allow my kid to read this book. The messages it puts across to young kids is very very disturbing.I read this review from Amazon:

If there was ever a book that deserved the medal for Worst Messages of All Time to Send to your Teenage Audience, then this is the one. Girls, life is not worth living unless you have your man. It’s okay to have no dreams, ambitions, hobbies, interests, goals, ideas, friends, etc… as long as you have your man. It’s okay, and in fact desirable that you stay with a man forever, even though he may very likely kill you, or at least injure you, in the future. Growing into mature adulthood and eventually old age is a fate worse than death. True Love is based on appearances and physical aspects. And the list goes on.

Disturbing ain’t it? I think the book should be read by adults who have gone through the different stages of relationships and who would know how to process the events in the book. Now…I’m 30% into my 9th book…the next book in the Twilight Saga…NEW MOON.

“We accept the love we think we deserve…”

Wow.

I feel stumped, I’ll be attending my nth bridal shower and I seriously don’t know what to give anymore. I feel like everything I’ve been giving is too cliche. In the past I would either give naughty toys, bridal lingerie, copy of the Kama Sutra, or a book on marriage for those who are a bit conservative. What does one give during these times anyway?

I was reading this article which made me guffaw. There was a guy who sold his forehead to a company and he walked around town all day with an ad on his forehead. Isn’t that insane? I know most companies are willing to spend a lot on promotional products but I think this particular incident is going a bit too far don’t you think?

I sure hope he was paid a lot for this, and I hope he didn’t tattoo that ad on his forehead.

But it sure makes it super fun.

This is why I decided to give paid surveys a try. This one I saw had me do a $6.00 Welcome Survey After Free Registration!. It was so simple.

I hope it’s legit…

Guess who lost 6 pounds in 2 weeks? Guess guess guess?

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Can you believe it? My OB said ”What have you been doing?” and I couldn’t give a single answer. I said I didn’t know what I was doing and she said ”Well you must be doing something…”. I think she was getting frustrated at the fact that I wouldn’t reveal my secret. If only she knew that I  couldn’t tell her my secret because I didn’t have any.

Looking back, I think it was because I started saying no to Ruy’s midnight snacks. That must be it huh? 

The Dante’s Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Take the Dante’s Divine Comedy Inferno Test

MWahahaha.

Now how did I end up in hell in the first place?

Gluttony: Low

Wrath: Very Low

Sloth: Medium

Envy: Very Low

Lust: Very Low

Pride: Very Low

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

What Olivia Means

O is for Optimistic L is for Luscious I is for Intelligent V is for Vibrant I is for Irresistible A is for Animated

It’s scary how accurate this test is…

Your Love Life is Like Annie Hall

“A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.”You believe that love (if you even believe in love!) is a very complicated thing.Maybe love is pain. Or maybe it’s all a big therapy session. You’re still figuring it out. Your love style: Brainy and a bit neurotic Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Realistic and reflective

What Movie Is Your Love Life Like?

A new blog!!! Yooohooo…visit me here please

Feeding My Baby 

Things have been quite difficult lately. It’s really demotivating to have to trudge day after day after day wondering “What next? What else could possibly go wrong?”. It’s tiring and it’s really taking a toll on me.

I sometimes wonder why it has to be so hard. I am not really planning anything grand or anything bad. I just want to do things which will put my life and Andrea’s in order. I guess I’m still reaping the results of several bad decisions and missteps from the past. I just wish it were a little bit easier and simpler. I seriously have been setting my life on track and I’m working really hard to make sure this happens…but there are just too many problems that pop-up…sigh.

Looking at the big picture I know my problems are almost petty it’s not like my husband’s cheating or I’m in a job I hate or I’m suffering from mesothelioma. I know this in theory but it’s getting harder and harder to remember this fact.

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.

FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY

Making the Domino Tag come alive again

{BEGIN COPY}

Rule: Copy the entire list and add your name at the bottom. And tag at least 5 friends. (But you can tag as many as you like).
Note: Please link the blog where you posted the tag We appreciate you linking all your blogs but make sure you post the tag in the blogs too.

Mommy Talks | Aggie Shoots. Aggie Scraps | All Kinds of Me Stuff | The Salad Caper | Winding Creek Circle | Anorexic Queen | Apple of Yan Ple | YanPle | Howell and Abie | My Planet Purple | WomenXplore | Princess Bela | My Happy Place | I am Dzoi | Cliktrik | Life’s Simple Pleasures | Coffee Table Conversations | 100% Kelly | My Colorful World | Ramdom Thoughts | Scribbles of My Life | In This Game of Life | The Shopaholic in Me | Mommyhood and Me | My Charmed Life | My Joys | Sassy Finds | Celebrating Life | Life is Peachy | Belly, Baby and Beyond | {BloggerHappy} | {BerryScrappy} | My BIG Picture |A Taste of Married Life |Beauty and Madness | Ruy and Olivia| |

{END COPY}

Tagging Numi, Ren, Aves and Vicki. Thanks Ladies!

I went to Shopwise this morning and I was so pissed. More than half of the things I needed to buy were not there. They didn’t have EQ diapers (Andrea’s new daytime diaper), they didn’t have Absolute water, they didn’t have baby wipes, they didn’t have Oishi Cheese Pillows, they didn’t have Philadelphia cream cheese…

I could just go on and on about the things they don’t have. My goodness…if they took away everything overpriced from their shop they’d be left with absolutely nothing….

 GRRRRRRRr

A tag from LITZIE!

Here’s the game: you have to answer the question with ONE WORD only and then you have to tag 4 people.

1. Where is your cell phone? CHARGING
2. Your significant other? WILLING
3. Your hair? CURLY
4. Your mother? STRONG
5. Your father? ABSENTEE
6. Your favorite thing? LAPTOP
7. Your dream last night? NADA
8. Your favorite drink? JUICE
9. Your dream/goal? SECRET
10. The room you’re in? OFFICE
11. Your hobby? BLOGGING
12. Your fear? MEDIOCRITY
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? CONTENT
14. What you’re not? STUPID
15. Muffins? CITRUS
16. One of your wish list items? PHILOSOPHY
17. Where you grew up? MARIKINA
18. The last thing you did? BLOG
19. What are you wearing? OUTFIT
20. Favorite gadget? LAPTOP
21. Your pets? SUSHI

22. Your computer? ASUS
23. Your mood? CONTEMPLATIVE
24. Missing someone? ANDREA
25. Your car? MITSUBISHI
26. Something you’re not wearing? SKIRT
27. Favorite store? TARGET
28. Like someone? ANDREA
29. Your favorite color? TEAL
30. When is the last time you laughed? YESTERDAY
31. Last time you cried? YESTERDAY

Tagging NUMI, JEN, VICKI, VAN

Vicki showed me this really cute mp4 player from cdr-king and now I can’t get it out of my mind.

I should first point out that I don’t have an ipod…I’ve never really seen the need to get one as I have no use for it. I have my laptop at work, my cd player and radio in the car and when I’m at home I just talk to everyone. 

This particular player is sooo affordable though and I am so tempted to get it.  It also has this expandable memory! You can use any common  SD card out there to expand the memory.

I am going to try and control my urge to buy this no matter how affordable cause I know I won’t use it.

I’ve been feeling a bit out of it for the past couple of days. I hate feeling this way…this is not who I am. 

I think I should start making uncomfortable decisions and try to do things that will get me out of this slump…no matter how painful it might be.

For the past year or so,  I’ve been going through life changing events which are a bit out of the ordinary.  Marriage, motherhood, career. So many things happening so fast. It’s so difficult having to explain these things to some of my friends who are not on the same boat.

Yes, they are trying their best to understand but more often than not…they don’t or they can’t.

 I think this is why I really enjoy blogging. This is where I am able to talk about my joys and pain, my hurt, excitement and fear. This is also where I am able to find people who are on the same boat.

Take this blog I found named Etc Atbp as an example. In this blog she talks about her married life, her daughter (who’s the same age as my daughter by the way) her struggles with adjusting to her husband’s culture and her obligation to her immediate family.

When I read blogs like this I feel strengthened. It makes me realize I am not alone in my plight. It really feels good to be able to draw inspiration from other people’s experiences.

Minsan talaga nakakapagod na, parang gusto ko na lang sabihin “Ah leche bahala kayo gawin niyo gusto niyong gawin. Sa inyo na lahat”

Minsan lang naman.

My dislike for whimsical decisions has steadily grown into hatred.  I believe past decisions are always based on some reasoning and rationale. Making changes to things without considering the background and the rationale is just downright ridiculous.

I would admit that I was once a slave of my whim, I realized though that I make a lot of stupid mistakes when I act guided by whim.

Whimsical as defined by M-W is:

whimsical

 If there’s one thing that people doesn’t particularly know about me is that I make sure I know the rules everywhere I go.

Yes I know most traffic rules, yes I read my gradeschool, highschool, and college manual from cover to cover and yes I also read the company manual from cover to cover.  I like knowing things. I like understanding things.

If there are things I don’t understand or don’t agree with. I ask.

Asking is such a simple action yet it has lead me to a wealth of knowledge I really treasure. Asking helps me understand, and understanding helps me make decisions not based on whimsy.

When everyone around you is acting and reacting to their whim…what do you do?

What do you do when you can foresee the downward spiral of things due to these decisions and you could possibly be drawn into this spiral? 

NOTE:

I am not immune to such whimsical decisions. I have turned down several job offers because of this.

This was taken a week before I gave birth…I think it’s time for a new team picture!

We have a small problem with our house. It’s too tiny that we don’t know where to put things anymore. We’re currently stumped as to where to put our TV. Basically, the couch is facing the dining set because it can only fit in that wall, so we can’t put the TV on the wall where it’s supposed to be because we would have to look at the TV sideways if we do so.

One option we’re playing around with would be to put a fake wall/divider between the two areas and then put a plasma mount there. You know what this means right? We’ll have no choice but to buy a plasma TV…hahaha WINNER!

Just some fun blogging questions from Van.

Participants: 1. Me and Mine 2.Creative In Me 3.Little Peanut 4. Pea in a Pod 5. Sugar Magnolias 6. The Salad Caper 7. All Kinds of Me Stuff 8. Aggie Scraps. 9. Winding Creek Circle 10. Mommy Talks. 11. Fun | Fierce | Fabulous 12. Me, Myself + 2 13. Confessions of a Supermodel Wannabe 14. Life.Love.Us. 15. My Lavender Fields 16. Beauty and Madness 17. A Taste of Married Life 18. Your blogs.

RULES:
1. Add your blog/s to the list. Feel free to add all your other blogs. It’s okey if you only post this questions in one blog as long as you answer them.
2. Get back to Me {Van} and I’ll add your blogs to the master’s list here!
3. Tag as many friends online you know. But you don’t need to be tag in order to join.

QUESTIONS:

1. I posted this experiment at URL: Beauty and Madness
2. I posted this on date (day, month, year): Monday 30 June 2008
3. I posted this at time (24 hour time): 9:14 am
4. My posting location is (city, state, country): Libis
5. My blog is hosted by: Wordpress

6. My age is: 25 yrs old.
7. My gender is: Female
8. My occupation is: QA Manager

9. I use the following RSS/Atom reader software: Bloglines.
10. I use the blog format to post to my blog: dunno
11. I have been blogging since (day, month, year): 12 July 2005
12. My web browser is: Fire Fox 3.0 and IE
13. My operating system is: Windows Vista
Your turn to answer: Jen and Litzie

Feast 194

Appetizer

If you could live on another continent for 1 year, which one would you choose?

–> EUROPE too I guess. The food there’s awesome!

Soup

Which browser do you use to surf the Internet?

–> FIREFOX 3.0 and IE. I have to use both cause I need to check a gazillion Google Accounts at the same time

Salad

On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest), how much do you know about the history of your country?

–> 6 — I’m awful aren’t I?

Main Course

Finish this sentence: Love is…

–> OMG…Van and I had such a long discussion about this. Love is a feeling of respect and affection towards another.

Dessert

Have you ever been in or near a tornado?

–> Nope, but when I was in preschool I played the role of a fairy who called upon a tornado to punish three wasteful humans. Does this count?

Feast 195

Appetizer

What is the weather like today where you live?

–> Sunny but not so hot (yet).

Soup

On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how career-minded are you?

–> 100!!

Salad

What type of window coverings do you have in your home? Blinds, curtains, shutters, etc.?

–> None yet, we have to remedy this soon. =)

Main Course

Name something that instantly cheers you up.

–> OUr first dinner at home. I cooked rice!! =)

Dessert

How many times do you hit the snooze button on a typical morning?

–> Rarely do this. I’m usually too excited to go to work. Plus Andrea’s usually my alarm clock and I can’t really kick her can I?

GO JEN GO ANSWER THIS!

It’s Monday and I’ve been here in the office for 40 minutes. I’ll be here for around 13 hours today. Which is fine by me. I prefer working over time early in the week and having enough time to relax at the end of the week. 

How are you guys?

It’s Monday and I’ve been here in the office for 40 minutes. I’ll be here for around 13 hours today. Which is fine by me. I prefer working over time early in the week and having enough time to relax at the end of the week. 

How are you guys?

It seems to be a bug which has bitten everyone in the office. Every single person on my team is planning one trip or another. Crazy isn’t it? I seem to be the only one not afflicted. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but the thought of going on a trip is just too stressful for me.  I know there are a whole lot of travel guides out there but I still feel so stressed at the mere thought of packing, planning, leaving. OMG!

I hope this is just a phase…

At the beginning of the year I vowed to read at least one book a month. I usually don’t do well with New Year’s Resolutions but somehow I’m doing well with this particular one. I have crossed the half-way mark and have just finished my 7th book!! Woohoo.

I can’t wait to go on to my 8th book. I hope I finally find the time to do so. Here are some of the books I’m either reading or re-reading.

I often have to stop myself from buying more and more books for myself and Andrea. I swear this addiction of mine is becoming out of control. Some people crave for LV bags…this is my craving.

When I look at it that way, it seems reasonable for me to indulge in this…except I still ahve around 9 unread books at home. Sigh…too many books out there and so little time to read them.

Saw this in N@W, laughed my ass off:
> Dear Tech Support,
>
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed
a
> distinct slowdown in overall system performance — particularly in
> the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly
under
> Boyfriend 5.0.
>
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
> such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
> undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0. and Golf Clubs 4.1.
>
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.5 simply
crashes
> the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but
> to no avail.
>
> What can I do?
>
> Signed,
> Desperate
> =========================
>
> Dear Desperate:
> First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,
while
> Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the
command: “http:
> I Thought You Loved Me.htm” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t
> forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
>
> If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
> automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
>
> But remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband
1.0
> to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 Whatever you do, DO NOT install
> Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background, that will
> eventually seize control of all your system resources).
>
> Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These
> are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited
> memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
>
> You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and
> performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7
>
> Good Luck,
> Tech Support

DSC00150

Originally uploaded by livnobleza

Hey Jen….here I am blogging for you. This the dining set I got. We chose ones which are super simple and small to make the house bigger.

Tisay worked for my family for around 2 years.

She hasn’t seen her family in 5 years. Going to the province is just much too expensive.

She was a good worker and had a pleasant disposition, the reason why my aunt decided to lend her money so she can finally see her family.

She shared with my aunt and uncle her excitement. She said she’ll be hugging her mom tight as soon as she sees her…it’s been 5 long years after all.

She never got to hug her mom. Never even got to step foot in the port of her province. She was one of the passengers of the sunken ferry. One of those who trusted that the company has maintained their ferry, that the company chose competent and responsible crews to take care of their safety and their need.

The ferry company will now be paying 200 thousand for each of the victims. Wouldn’t that money have been better used for making sure that their vessel was in tip top shape?

The captain who was supposed to be the last one to leave the vessel. The man whose actions would dictate the fate of dozens is safe and sound. How can this be? Can this man sleep knowing his wrong decisions have cost people their mother, their father, or their children?

I have heard this story one too many times in the Philippines but it has never affected me as much as it has now. Probably cause this all-too-familiar story now has a face, it now has a name.  

It sounds awful doesn’t it? It means I barely cared before because I didn’t know anyone. I think this pretty much sums up our society. The millions of people who don’t care as long as the people they know aren’t affected?  The scary part is, the more you think like this the more numb you become. Case in point, the politicians. The people who steal from the people and thus indirectly causing the starvation and death of the people. Remember the 11-year old kid who killed herself because she couldn’t afford to go to school? Do you honestly think any of the politicians have this child’s life on their conscience?

5 years ago I asked my Theology professor why people always say “Eat your food, there are so many starving people out there…” I never understood this. How does my eating my food feed the hungry people? Do they in any way become less hungry  if I eat my food? He told me then “If you don’t see the connection, you have no way of understanding” . I think I see it now…

A tag from Van.

The rules are simple. At the end of the post, the player tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leave a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?

I was in High School. Can you believe that? I was a senior and was feeling so grown up.

2. What are the 5 things on my to-do list today?

Buy Olive Oil (which I forgot from my grocery yesterday)

Edit the QA form which I created last Friday for our new product (can you believe this actually exites me?)

Write emails which aren’t very nice….these I’m not looking forward to.

Edit my homework for my LTM course

Check Output of my Team…

3. Snacks I enjoy:

Wasabi Chips from Oishi…yum. If I’m feeling cheap then I like the Cheese Filled Pillows from Oishi as well.

4. Places where I lived:

God…New Manila,Greenhills and of course the happiest place on earth .MARIKINA CITY!

5. Things I’d do if I were a billionaire:

Buy Educational plans for all my nephews and my sisters. Pay for our mortgage in full. Double our life and health insurances. General Health Checkup for Everyone in my family.

Greece for Ruy and myself.

Double my maid’s salary.

Save.

6. People I want to know more about:

My team. I am so lucky to have the chance to work with wonderful and interesting people. I would love to get to know them more.

I’m tagging: Litzie, and Jen

Front

Originally uploaded by livnobleza

Here’s our garden. Yes there’s still trash everywhere and we don’t have grass yet but it’s really beginning to look and feel like a home…woohoo

Very very interesting

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And quite accurate too!

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Here’s another one:

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Oh and another one

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I believe I am slowly but surely turning into a geek. First, I get really excited over the cd-r king website. HONESTLY! Seeing those 16gb flash disks really make my day. Next, I read a contract detailing outlets, and plugs and I could actually understand them all! Lastly, I saw an HDMI in Abensons and I actually stopped and played around with it. Oh my, am I really becoming a geek?

My goodness, you cannot believe how inlove I am with Mar Roxas after reading this article from the GMA website:

(Update) Arroyo signs into law tax exemption measure

MANILA, Philippines – President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo on Tuesday morning signed into law the measure that will exempt minimum wage earners from paying income tax and increase personal exemption for other employees.

A radio report said President Arroyo signed Republic Act 9504 or the act amending several sections of RA 8424 otherwise known as the National Internal Revenue Code of 1997.

Workers who used to earn the minimum wage of P382 a day will begin taking home as much as P35 a day or around P700 a month, according to Sen. Francis Joseph “Chiz” Escudero, who turned up at the signing to represent the higher chamber of Congress.

Also present at the signing were Rep. Exequiel Javier, Escudero’s counterpart at the House of Representatives as well as Senators Juan Ponce Enrile and Manuel “Mar” Roxas III.

Senator Roxas, principal author of the Senate’s version of the measure, earlier said that all holiday, night differentials, hazard and overtime pays will also be tax exempt.

The new law increased to 50,000 all individual exemptions, which previously stood at P20,000 for single workers, P25,000 for a head of the family, and P32,000 for married individuals.

Additional exemptions for up to four qualified dependents were likewise raised from P8,000 to P25,000 each.

This would mean that an employee earning P455 per day or P10,010 per month would have an additional take-home pay of P472.59 per month if unmarried, P678.50 per month if head of the family, and P580.92 per month if married with four children.

Also, an employee earning P683 per day or P15,026 per month would have an additional take-home pay of P545.26 per month if unmarried; P1,307.18 per month as head of the family; and P1,190.52 per month for those married with four children.

However, reports also said that the government is set to lose P14 billion in tax collection with the signing into law of the said tax relief bill.

A television report from GMA’s Flash Report quoted Finance Secretary Margarito Teves as assuring that the government will look for other sources of income to recover this loss.

Teves cited a provision on RA 9504 which imposes an optional standard deduction for professionals, self-employed individuals, and small corporations. These deductions, he added, could generate as much as P15 billion for the government.

For his part, Federation of Philippine Industries president Jess Arranza was quoted by the same radio report as hailing the President for approving the tax exemption measure.

 OMG!! I’m so excited

2 days ago I found myself reading diet pill reviews. I don’t know if this is an act of desperation or just my subconscious’ way of telling me that I need to take this weight loss dream seriously?

I have to say though that I lost so much flab from my tummy after having my period. That being said, I still have around 40 pounds left…aaaaaaaaaak

He willingly drives to Jollibee in the middle of the night all for the love of his daughter.

Because he treats Andrea’s mom soooo well

With the current recession in the US, finding jobs has become extremely difficult. San Francisco jobs are just not as common as they used to be. My cousin (who I talked about in the last post) has been trying to find a permanent job for around a year and this has remained elusive. It seems that it’s only the medical industry which has thrived throughout the financial problems because most of the nurses I know are living comfortably in the US.

I am feeling so much like a stage mom. I can’t help but gush over every little thing Andrea does. Then I realized, why should I even try to stop myself from gushing? She’s my daughter, it’s my job to gush…hehehe

1 - She saw an image of the Sto. Nino…she said “Hi” and then she suddenly put her hands together in prayer and then bowed her head

2 - We were saying goodbye to Ruy in the morning and she knows that every morning we pass by Jollibee. She told Ruy “Bye, Mama Eya Bee” …translation “Bye, Mommy and Andrea are going to Jollibee”….sooo cute.

 3 - She was playing with the landphone and she kept on saying “Hello” so I got my cellphone and pretended to call her. I said “Hello, Can I please speak with Andrea?”…she looked at me and said “I’m Eya”…that’s with matching patting her tummy.

 Aaaaaaaaaahhhh, I’m so gigil. Hahaha

A friend of mine is here from the US. He will only be here for a week and there’s a HUGE possibility that I won’t get to see him. Not once! This is so sad. I can’t believe I won’t be able to see him at all…I miss my friends. =(

I’ve always always loved looking at furniture and imagining what I’d like for our own house. Now that we’re actually doing that I’m beginning to like it less. I didn’t know it was this tough making sure everything matched.  While looking for dining sets I saw one which I loved…when I inquired about that particular set I was told that it is not a dining set rather it is patio furniture. My goodness, I think I’m losing my hair in the process.

This was supposed to be our year for travelling, but considering the amount of time and money we’re spending on our two major expenses which would be Andrea and the interiors of our own house, I guess this plan would be put on hold for a few more months. I doubt if we’ll be able to take advantage of the great rates from Outer Banks rentals any time soon. Oh well, c’est la vie right? I guess life is just a matter of prioritizing things.

Every single person who even remotely knows me would tell you that I am deeply in love with my work, with my company and with my team. I have become so comfortable and it’s beginning to scare me.

I was called by a company offering me a senior position in their company.  The company was in the middle of discussing the position with me when I just suddenly stopped the person and told him point blank that I wasn’t interested.

It was instinctual, automatic and so easy to do.

It wasn’t until a few hours after when I realized what I had done. It scares me just how comfortable I’ve become with this job so much so that I let emotions make the decision rather than my brain. That job I was being offered would have given me more than double what I’m earning in ITI Consulting and I turned it down just like that.

I honestly believe in my heart of hearts that I made the right decision. I think going to work feeling excited every day is something so rare that I must not give it up that easily. I do think though that the next time something like this comes along I must remember to THINK and THINK and THINK some more. I can’t do what I did a few days ago…please…If I do, somebody slap me please.

Your Personality is Very Rare (INTP)

Your personality type is goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant.Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 6% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Ohlala…I like the brilliant part

I love driving to work. I find it rejuvenating.  This is my time for introspection, for reflection. To listen to the news, to sing out loud, and even to read when I’m stuck in traffic.

There’s also that sense of excitement about going to work. (Yes I’ve told you guys that I love my work)

Going home is a different story altogether. It’s downright excruciating! This sense of wanting to be with Andrea already yet being unable to. Knowing that any slight delay in my arrival could result in my not being able to play with Andrea anymore cause she’d be sleeping. This sense of “I’m wasting this time inside the car when I could be 1: Resting, 2: Working some more, 3: Playing with Andrea, 4: Chatting with Ruy, 5: Earning while blogging.

I HATE THE DRIVE HOME 

I can’t believe the people from CD-R King. I don’t think these people, particularly those from the Eastwood branch know the meaning of customer service. Just because they’re goods are inexpensive it doesn’t mean that their customers don’t deserve the sucky treatment their people give. The messy service they give is something that even Electrolux vacuums can’t clean up. I’ll give more details of my whining later.

When I think about how much I love Andrea, I realize just how much my mom must love me…..I’ve always known this in theory…but now I feel it.

Your Slogan Should Be

How Do You Handle a Hungry Man? Olivia.

and

Your Slogan Should Be

Liv. Uncommonly Made, Uncommonly Good.

I had the best 5-day-Mother’s-Day-Celebration ever in the history of the world. It’s not because of the extravagance or the expense, but how perfectly it fit me.

Thursday was perfect cause I got to do something I’ve been meaning to do for months and haven’t gotten around to doing so which is visit my doctor. I also got to spend practically a whole day with my family which made it doubly fun.

Friday was amazing. It was perfect cause I got to go on a road trip with two of my favorite people. I’m sensitive when it comes to road trips, I can’t just go with anyone. But this trip was just perfect. The food was awesome, the company great, I felt taken cared off and pampered.

Saturday was the day Ruy insisted on celebrating Mother’s day together without Andrea. I said “What for? We celebrated already yesterday” and he said that was with Andrea, now it’s our turn. It was perfect cause it made me feel that I wasn’t just a mother, that I was a wife too. It reminded me of an often neglected role in my life.

This was the same day Ruy pointed out that I kept on buying the same kinds of shades and asked me to try on some other kind. It was beautiful. He insisted on buying it for me (I wouldn’t let him, don’t underestimate my pulling powers). It was perfect cause I realized that after 8 years together he still notices these details. Details which I myself overlook. It was perfect cause I can see that he knows me well enough to know what fits me and what I’d like.

Sunday was spent with my inlaws having the yummiest lunch ever. It was perfect cause I’m beginning to feel more and more like family.

Monday was spent sleeping the whole day suffering from migraine. It was perfect because I got to take care of myself. I got to experience not being responsible for anything and still the world continued to revolve. I realized I don’t need to worry about everything. I needed to worry about myself.

Mother’s day this year was perfect. Thursday was spent being a sister and a daughter, Friday a mother, Saturday a wife, Sunday an inlaw and Monday being myself. It was beautiful, it was complete, it was perfect.

I went to the Derma last Thursday. I went through an entire litany of just how bad my skin is and how it’s never been this bad, etc., etc., etc. The derma (who is a friend of my mom) just smiled at me indulgently and said in a nice way that I’m basically overacting and that my skin’s not that bad. She said that she wouldn’t even recommend any serious acne treatment now. She did give me some bleaching agent to help even out my skin tone and she gave me a cleaning.

I can’t think straight, my head is still throbbing. I still have around an hour left here in the office and I’m just hoping I can make it through that hour. I am so close to downing any form of medicine using a beer pong…yes that’s how desperate I am.

My friend Vicki said it might be cause I’m dehydrated. She could be on to something cause I’ve only had one glass of water all day. A far cry from the 3 Liters I used to drink when I was pregnant. I really should think about a lifestyle change…pretty much like what Jen has been undergoing.

I’m back? I’m not so sure I am…but I’ll try to post a bit more okay? Promise!! Hahaha….

Short short update on mother’s day….it was AWESOME!! Ruy really went all out.  I’ll give more details later. Toodles!!

Ruy and I had dinner with my family 2 weeks ago, and he took this picture

It reminded me of just how much I miss my sister….sigh

Here are the rules:

Cut and paste the following starting here.

I have randomly selected 5 of you below to be tagged and I hope that you will similarly publish this post in your blog. You will have to tag 5 other bloggers and just keep adding on to the list. (Do not replace, just keep on adding! Yes we hope it will be a long list!) It’s real easy! Tag others and see your Technorati Authority increase exponentially!

The benefits of Viral Linking:- One of the fastest ways to see your technorati authority explode!- Increase your Google PageRank fast- Attract large volume of new traffic to your site- Build your community- Make new friends!

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Now I’m tagging Jen, Van and Jane!! 

In her new album, Madonna talks about infidelity. She talks about how it might initially seem exciting for the guy but eventually the guy will realize that:

“She’s not me,

She doesn’t have my name.

She’ll never have what I have

It won’t be the same.

She’s not me!”

TARUSH!!! Go Maddie!!

1. What’s your relationship status?

2. What is your current mood?

3. Who is your favorite band/artist?

4. What is your favorite movie?

5. What kind of pet do you have?

6. Where do you live?

7. Where do you work?

8. What do you look like?

9.What do you drive?

10. What did you do last night?

11. What is your favorite TV show

12. Describe yourself

13. What are you doing today?

14. What is your name?

15. What is your favorite candy?

What’s up with all these illnesses and sicknesses I’ve been hearing about? It’s seems everyone’s getting sick somehow. Some of the illnesses are those I haven’t even heard off like mesothelioma or rosascea (I don’t even know if I’m spelling this well). Is it because of our diet? The preservatives we ingest? The pollution in our environment? I swear I’m getting paranoid already!!

“I look at Tracy sometimes and I have two feelings. One is that feeling [that] she’s more beautiful every second, and more importantly, I love her more every minute and how–all that stuff. And then also sometimes I look and go, ‘Damn, you’re smart. Boy did you make the right choice.’”– Michael J. Fox on wife Tracy Pollan

I asked Jen to get me a suit. Why am I taking an interest in this all of a sudden? Andrea’s into swimming and I want to be able to join her and needless to say all my suits are too tight now.

Jen got me a black and white color block from Isaac Mizrahi which looks so cute on it’s own. I also wanted this suit from Old Navy:

This suit might seem boring BUT it would look so good with gold and wooden accessories.  Don’t you agree?

The Recipe For Olivia

3 parts Genius 2 parts Moxie 1 part PassionSplash of Bravery Finish off with whipped cream

What’s the Recipe for Your Personality?

1. Have you ever had a summer romance? Care to share?
~ Hehehe….3 words: Ethan, Australia, Eyelashes

2. Do you believe in love at first sight?
~ Not at all….

3. ‘You don’t marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without.’ What do you think of this quote?
~ I don’t have any person I cannot live without. I choose the people I keep in my life every single day.

4. Where does true beauty lie? On the inside or on the outside?
~ In the mind. I think the smartest people are the most beautiful.

5. Did you ever had a crush on a classmate or teacher? Who was it?
~Never. I barely get crushes

6. Summer wear….shorts or capris?
~ Capris.

7. Would you ride a roller coaster or sky dive?
~ Both. I’m open to these things

8. Last stupid thing you have done?
~ I don’t remember.. it must be with buying Andrea’s clothes

9. Any summer plans? Trips, vacations and etc. Where?
~ We’re going to Zambales after…but I’m saving for Camotes

10. In one word, define yourself!
~ Glorious