Yikee, Sobrang Cheesy!

Ruy and I were engaged for 2 years before we finally got married. It’s not like it was something we rushed into. We talked and talked and talked a lot before settling down. We attended seminars and read books on marriage and relationships. With that being said, I would have to say that we had absolutely no idea what we were getting ourselves into when we got married.

A lot of people who are thinking of getting married do so with a feeling of invincibility. Yes, they know that a lot of married couples have problems but they also think that they are somehow going to be exempt from these problems. “Oh it’s not going to happen to us cause we respect each other” , “Oh we’re deeply in love and we won’t make those mistakes”…etc, etc, etc. To a certain degree, I too felt that way.

The first 2 years of our married life (at least for me) was a series of reality checks peppered with some rude awakenings.  There were no skeletons in the closet, no huge drama it was just REAL LIFE.

I guess all those disney movies and romantic movies condition you into expecting bells to ring every time you kiss. And when they don’t, you get frustrated and disappointed.

I was frustrated, disappointed, annoyed. You name the negative emotion, I probably felt it. It took me a while before I realized that I was approaching our marriage with a completely wrong mindset. With the help of 2 books (Getting the Love you Want by Dr. Harville Hendrix and 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman) I was able to view my feelings and my relationship with Ruy in a new light.

3 years into our married life and I would have to say that I love Ruy more now than I did when we got married. Each day I’m realizing what a nice person Ruy really is. Nice is such an overused adjective and I’m not sure if it even conveys what I want to say. Basically Ruy is just a good good person and I’m just really blessed that somehow amidst the insanity of my youth, I found someone like him.