Gratitude

We have always been taught that we should be grateful for things we have and for what we are. As a child, gratitude did not come naturally. I guess there is a certain arrogance that comes with youth. My looks are mine, my talents are mine, who is there to thank for the things I have?

I have felt a certain sense of unease when I hear people say things like “Oh I’m grateful my husband is not like that” or “I’m so thankful that I don’t have those problems”. It seems very snobbish. It reminds me of the parable of the Pharisee (God, I’m not sure if I’m using the proper parable here), the one who saw the sinner and thanked God for not being like the Pharisee.

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In the audio file Vicki gave me one line says “Stop thinking of yourself as more blessed. Thinking this way means that others are not blessed. God doesn’t work that way, we are all special and blessed in our own ways”

I’m finding it hard to follow this as I cannot help but think that way sometimes. When I see a sick kid I can’t help but say a silent prayer thanking God that Andrea’s not that sick kid. I feel bad that I am somehow finding something positive in me in other people’s suffering. Isn’t that somehow selfish?

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Ruy said there’s nothing wrong with that. He said something like if seeing other people’s suffering can help show us things in our lives then somehow there becomes more value in the suffering. It becomes a little bit more positive. It serves a purpose.

His example was. If I see a man with no hands, it should help me reflect and think about what I do with my hands. His suffering can help me in my realization.

It makes a weird sort of sense but I cannot fully own this explanation.

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While I was in line at the grocery last night I found myself extremely irritated. There were two very noisy and giggly teenagers behind me (pretty much exactly like how I was when I was a teenager) and I didn’t have the patience for them. I was tired from work and I still had to rush home to bake and the last thing I needed was to listen to teenagers giggling about…NOTHING.

While the cashier was ringing up my purchases I glanced at the teenagers to see that the gigglier (new adjective here) one of the two only had one hand. I literally and seriously felt chills run down my spine. (I’m feeling the same chills as I type this).

She literally transformed right before my eyes. From a stupid giggly teenager to a brave, happy soul who chooses to look at the brighter side of life.

Wow. Ruy, it makes sense now.