November 19, 2007

It will not matter what car I drove

What kind of house I lived in

How much money I had in my bank account

Nor what my clothes looked like

But the world may be a little better

because I was important in the life of a child.

-Author Unknown-

This put things in a whole new perspective for me. I really really really should do everything I can to be a better example for Andrea. This is not easy…but I’ll try.

Last Saturday, I had 5 people tell me how Andrea doesn’t look like me at all.  They sounded so surprised and looked genuinely shocked. I seriously don’t get it. Why are they surprised, I didn’t have an immaculate conception and suddenly produced an offspring on my own.  So why is the fact that my daughter looks like my husband surprising to anyone?

I’m amused at this phenomenon.

Jen and I are trying to motivate each other into losing weight.  I’m not really sure how well we’re doing but at least I’m now able to get my ass off the chair and walk a little bit. I’m not sure it’s helping but I’m sure it’s something.

I swear if I get really desperate I’m going to try one of these houston lapbands. It’s the safest form of bariatric surgery and it’s the least invasive. I’m not sure if I would qualify for one just yet it just feels good knowing there’s something like this available.

I will keep this in mind for future reference, meanwhile I will continue trying to walk. Today I walk, tomorrow I run!! =)

I was looking at the TokiDoki purses from LeSportsac. I loved the look and the colors, then I put it down. Ruy asked why I chose not to buy it…I said I felt too old for it. Ruy then replied “Okay, that’s a good reason”

Was it a good reason?

I’m 25 for goodness sakes. I should be prancing around in Tokidoki’s and aimlessly bumming.

Yet I’m not.

I’m scared of my mistakes as Andrea could mimic them. I’m scared that I might not be the best role model for Andrea. I’m scared of being lazy…

I can’t be reckless, I have Andrea. 

I’m in a job where I panic at the thought of being absent. I’m absent now yet I’m working from home.

I don’t understand…when did I grow old that way? Have you seen my childhood?

Andrea is hard to please, just like me.

She’s stubborn, just like me.

She’s mataray, just like me.

I think I’ve been given what I deserve. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get her to smile? Seriously, I can be doing cartwheels and all I would get is a half-smile. Check this out:

I was lifting her, tickling her…and all I get is that bored look. Exactly the same look I give Ruy which he hates.  It’s funny cause she can communicate, she can show her emotions but everytime we’re outside or we’re with other people she keep quiet and emotionless. SO MUCH LIKE ME!!

I love Gold in every shape or form. I love Gold the color, I love Gold the metal. Why I even have the Ralph Lauren Gold perfume.

I don’t know exactly what it is about Gold that I like. It’s probably the fact that it’s so unique you can tell Gold apart from Titanium, Silver and Platinum so easily. It could also be the fact that Gold stands for oppulence and indulgence.

People have often told me that gold is a better investment than real estate. I always thought that meant stocking up on jewelry. I didn’t know people can actually buy gold coins and gold bullion. Not only that, you can buy it online!! Hassle free gold shopping is actually possible. Of course you have to make sure that you’re buying from reputable sites as there are a lot of fake sites out there.  So far I’ve only heard of Monex Deposit Company as being an authentic seller…do you guys know of any others?

I cannot understand why Andrea is still bald. I don’t get it. I have a full head of hair, and Ruy does as well when he’s not shaving it all off. It’s really so frustrating cause I’ve had several people call Andrea handsome as she looks like a guy, not having hair is not helping her case at all.

Impatient and crazy mother (that’s me) with the prodding of a crazy grandmother (that’s my mother) decided to buy hair for Andrea. Ruy and I were practically rolling on the floor laughing when we saw the effects.

Here’s Hairy Andrea:

Isn’t that hilarious? I was bugging Ruy to try the wig on but he refuses.

Here’s Andrea without the wig:

I’m having this sinking feeling she’ll only grow hair when she turns 12

So, the yaya strikes again. Yesterday morning she tells me “Ate, dalawa na lang ang diaper.” I take a deep breath count to three and say “Ok”

I didn’t want to argue with her anymore. I feel like it’s futile. Try talking to a wall…that’s how it feels with this yaya.  The problem with her is that she doesn’t learn. One time I asked her to commute to the grocery herself in the middle of the night (okay I’m exagerating here, it was at 8:30 pm) just so she would realize what she’s making me do.  It had no effect though. I have also tried explaining the repercussions of these actions…no effect as well.

So, Ruy and I went to the grocery to buy diaper. 2 hours after she tells me that we only have enough milk for a day.  The morning after, she tells me we have no wipes.

Can I cry now?

It seems that my simple joys are not so simple after all. You see, I adore freshly made beds with clean and crisp linen. Nothing feels better than stepping out of the shower…putting on lotion…dressing up then plopping down on fresh linen.

Reality however makes it very expensive to have this scenario every day.  I was surprised at how expensive beddings are. 3,000-5,000 for bed sheets and 2 pillow cases seems pretty steep to me. Specially since most of the beddings in the Philippines are very generic.  I want unique and one-of-a-kind beddings which don’t cost an arm and a leg.

I came across this site which offers Personalized Photo Gifts and guess what? They make Photo Blankets!! Check this out:

I can just imagine Andrea going crazy trying to figure out who the baby in the blanket is.  Hahaha

I have a soft spot for old people. I don’t know why but just seeing the beggars on the street drive me to tears.  It’s probably my close relationship with my grandmother whom I love so much despite the fact that all our bitchiness comes from her. Yup it’s true. =)  

When I was in gradeschool we were brought to this Home for the Aged somewhere in Marikina and it scared me. The condition of the  grandparents there were pathetic to say the least. They were in such miserable conditions that it affected them emotionally. They became grumpy, irritable and sometimes spiteful. I went home and told my grandmother that she should never stay in one of those homes. 

I am lucky enough to be living in the Philippines where the culture of extended families guarantees that my grandmother would never have to look for a nursing home for herself. I do know that a lot of people living in North America and Europe aren’t as lucky. Having information about the homes our relatives are being taken into is really important and thank goodness for the power of the internet, we now have access to these info.