November 3, 2007

I am feeling insecure despite not having any self-esteem issues. It’s not about my hair, face, weight, height, or color…it’s about money and the future. I’m always worrying about what kind of future Andrea will have or what kind of future Ruy and I can provide for her.

The most logical thing to do would of course be to get some sort of Coverage For Insurance or do you call that Insurance Coverage? I get confused…

These are really major decisions and for people who are not as adept in insurance terminologies it’s not always easy.  I hope I can get reasonable Insurance Quote for Family Insurance Plans. I know how important this is and I don’t want to make mistakes.

Nope, I’m not talking about myself. I’m actually talking about my own mother.

 A lot of people don’t know this, but I was actually supposed to go to Med School. Can you believe that? Can you just imagine me in that white uniform? Oh god, I’m just thinking about how big my ass would look when I wear that….wahahah.

I really, honestly thought that I’d go to medschool…my mom thought that as well. Imagine her frustration when after taking and passing the NMAT I suddenly announced that I don’t want to go to medschool. Yup on the final semester of my pre-med years.

I just can’t imagine myself doing that year after year after year. Although I would admit that the idea of talking to people while saying all those big words sounds enticing. I imagine myself talking to my patients and saying stuff like “I’m sorry to say that you have malignant mesothelioma” or “Don’t worry you just have striated corpus myelinum” (striated corpus myelinum is nothing but a made up word by the way). Other than these Medicine doesn’t interest me. I realized that I can’t go into such an important profession for the rest of my life when I was not at all passionate about it.

My mom, was not very happy.

Looking back, I realize the benefits of going into med school. Had I known then, what I see now maybe I would have reconsidered my choice. That being said, I still believe that I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now had I gone into med school. It’s just not for me.

I’m still having a hard time dealing with the fact that Andrea’s a big baby now. Even if all signs tell me that she’s not a tiny baby I still want to believe that she is. I insist on looking at baby clothes at Babycenter Store only to be frustrated cause none would fit her anymore. 

The fact that she’s standing and walking just seems wrong to me. How would you feel when you see a bald and toothless baby walking on the floor. Tell me  you wouldn’t be shocked?

She also threatens to give me hypertension every 10 minutes or so just by how daring she is. She lets go, climbs up things and people, dives…yes I said dives. She climbs on top of you while you are lying down. Smiles at you…so there you are complacent that she’s just being affectionate then you notice that her eyes are actually looking at the floor where your very attractive slippers are. She attempts to swan dive to your slipper. You almost have a stroke.

She also lets go when she’s on the crib and it takes every ounce of what’s left of your willpower not to scream.  She lets go, wobbles while looking at you(she doesn’t just wobble, she shakes! she’s 7 months old for goodness sake) and then you finally scream out of fear that she’ll hit her head somewhere. You then tell her “Andrea, please remember you’re still a baby”

Then she looks at you this way

And you forget what you were upset about in the first place.