September 20, 2007

I’ve never thought of myself as being motherly. I’ve always been the crazy person saying things to rile up people. Dancing without caring about people looking. Staying up late just because I want to…not caring if I need to be somewhere the next day.

I never thought I could be motherly in the typical sense of the word.

I realized that being motherly doesn’t mean that you stop caring about yourself. On the contrary, you need to care about yourself more. You shouldn’t get sick. You demand to be treated better because you believe that your daughter’s mother deserves nothing less.

Being motherly doesn’t mean thinking your child’s the best. It’s loving your child to pieces with all the flaws.  It’s Andrea’s flaws which endears her to me. It’s her tantrums which shows me her character. It’s her being demanding which shows me that my baby will not take crap from others (just like her mom…awww).

Being motherly is about doing everything in your power to make your daughter the best that she can be but at the same time knowing you’d love her no matter what she becomes.

I just realized that I’m in love with my daughter.

I’ve been feeling a bit off lately. I had migraines all weekend up until Monday. Last night I was tossing and turning in pain. The toughest part is the fact that I can’t tell Andrea “Don’t cry Andrea, Mommy’s in pain”…I still ahve to wake up and attend to her despite everything.