I go through this year after year (except during my 22nd Birthday 3 years ago) and I wasn’t spared from it this year. I don’t know what it is about my birthday which leads me this feeling of unplaceable sadness. This year was not the worse but it was pretty bad. I guess it’s the reflection which causes these feelings to surface.
Birthdays are usually the times when people take a step back and look at their lives. What has happened to me this year? What have I done, how have I grown? People would probably say that so much has happened to me since my 24th birthday last year that I should be happy right? WRONG!! I feel like the things have happened TO me, and I haven’t really been making them happen. Take Andrea for example. She’s the biggest (and the best) change which has happened to me since my last birthday but I really can’t credit myself for Andrea. Andrea’s conception was nothing short of a miracle (a hormonal problem, PCOS and pills couldn’t stop her from being conceived) and as much as I’d like to say I planned everything…it was all beyond my control.
There are also things I wish I could do which I still can’t. I wish I can for example pay for my sister’s schooling. Regularly give money to my grandmother. Not because they need it, cause they don’t, but just simply because they matter to me and I want to be able to give back to the people who’ve taken care of me for sooooooo long. I can’t afford to do that right now (or probably ever). Haay it’s a depressing life
8 comments
Comments feed for this article
Trackback link
http://www.ruyandolivia.com/2007/08/06/birthday-depression/trackback/
August 6, 2007 at 11:15 pm
arvi
well tell that to the guy who always has something to be depressed about.
happy birthday olivia.
August 7, 2007 at 8:24 pm
cheche
im sure we all feel that way one time or another. siguro lang as we get older, we expect a lot more from ourselves unlike when we were younger, balloons and cakes lang, enough na. don’t worry, you’ve got a loving family and they will be just as happy simply by being a good mom to andrea. happy birthday!
August 8, 2007 at 3:40 pm
marj
Happy Birthday anyways
August 8, 2007 at 8:44 pm
gracita
i feel this way during new year’s naman. it’s been a habit of mine to reflect on the things that happened during the year. fortunately, i haven’t been that depressed for the last couple of years. i guess because i’m past the quarter life crisis. since 25 ka palang, baka you’re still in that stage? don’t worry, life has a way of leading you to the right path, whether you like it or not. take andrea for example.
belated happy happy!
August 9, 2007 at 8:38 pm
surfergirl
it’s still a happy birthday liv
August 10, 2007 at 7:14 am
fritzie
belated happy birthday liv!
August 11, 2007 at 1:17 pm
sardonicnell
belated happy birthday, liv, and i hope you’re feeling much better now. sorry to hear about your depression, but somehow you need to look at life from a brighter view. you’re a kindhearted person and it shows in your intentions. God is good and he’ll reward you for your love and compassion!
August 16, 2007 at 9:46 pm
Liv
Thank you for all your greetings…depressions over!!! Wahahaha