February 2007

We were hanging out around the flower stalls in Marikina when Ruy said “You know what I plan on doing with Andrea? I plan on giving her flowers every valentine’s day and then I’ll tell her to look for that in the man she’s going to marry in the future…”

Hmmm…to which I replied “Great, make it even more and more difficult for her to find someone why don’t you?”…Ruy then said “Yup, that’s my plan!”

 Hahaha…poor girl, not even out of the womb and already subjected to the difficulties of finding a good man… 

(DISCLAIMER: I don’t believe having a man in your life is actually necessary for a woman’s life to be complete…it would just be nice for procreation sake…hahaha)

SJ stands for….tantaran…Selos Jealous.  =) Hahaha Who would have thought that after two decades in this planet called earth I’d actually feel jealous. Ruy was shocked and so was I. 

Ruy and I were just chatting innocently when he mentioned how much more beautiful this girl has gotten.  He said it in this way “Grabeh, lalong gumaganda si ______, lalong nagiging kamukha ni Donita Rose.”….both Ruy and myself were shocked by my outburst of “WHAT????????”

This jealousy thing is completely out of character, in fact I even point out girls for Ruy and bug him about the fact that he doesn’t oggle at girls or that he doesn’t like girly magazines. But today was different for me somehow…Here’s the long and short of our discussion….

Ruy: Oh come one, I had all the chance when I was single we were very close and we had so much in common but I didn’t go for it.

Liv: See, but we weren’t very close and we had nothing in common…(at the back of my head my thought process was  “Hmmph, we didn’t have those but you went for me, why wouldn’t you go for this person now?”…also at the back of my head “Pucha, kamukha na ni Donita ‘close’ and ‘a lot in common’ pa, wala na talong talo na ako” )

Ruy: But I was single then, I’m married now. If I wanted her I would have gone for her then.

Liv: Yeah, but you said she’s boring. Now that you’re married it becomes illicit and thus it becomes more exciting.

Ruy: Oh come on, she’d never make patol cause she’s so religious….

Liv: WHAT? But you like religious…and I’m not religious….

Ahhhhhh…who would have thought the time would come when I’d feel insecure. It’s not really easy feeling confident when you look at yourself in the mirror and you look like a cow.  

I took pride of the fact that I’ve been picky with men. Yes despite my dating a lot of people then, I never took people seriously if they don’t match my criteria and I have definitely learned from past dating mistakes.

When I started going out with Ruy, most of my friends were surprised. I’m sure most of his friends felt the same about me. To make the long story short, we’re not each other’s type and people initially couldn’t understand how we could have ended up together.

I don’t know exactly how or why Ruy was ever attracted to me. I have mentioned this repeatedly on this blog. Ruy likes the fair mestizas who look pleasant and nice (ala Donita Rose) and nice is not something one would use in describing me unless she’s talking about my accessories.  We liked drastically different things and I was a very disagreeable person then. So it’s established then that Ruy has no logical explanation for falling in love with me. Now the question is, what about Olivia? What attracted her to Ruy?

I used to be all hoity toity and say that Ruy is smart and spoke well, etc. I realized a few days ago though that the initial attraction I felt for Ruy was not based on those things after all…we were sitting inside the car outside my grandma’s house listening to a lot of Barry White’s, BoyzIIMens, and other swoon worthy songs when I looked at Ruy and said “You had me at Doom Doom…”

Of course we ended up rolling over in laughter but it’s actually true. You see Ruy used to sing for several choirs and he sings the Bass part of a lot of the songs. So he has this deep, full voice which he used whenever he would call me or speak with me. Call me shallow, call me superficial but it drove me insane. I specially loved it when he’d sing the BoyzIIMen songs with his bestfriend Cyril (who sang the tenor part) and his entire repertoire as the Bass would be “Doom doom…Ba-doom doom…doom dooom…”….hahaha.

Foot and Mouth Disease? Nope, for me it’s Foot Stuck in the Mouth. I’m sure it’s quite obvious for everyone that my ramblings on this blog are spur of the moment ramblings with no consideration as to what people would be thinking or the effects of such posts.

One such post is  How to Make Olivia Fall in Love With You , Ruy rarely reads my blog but he actually read that one. Now he has keys to my psyche which is not always a good thing. See last night I was so pissed off at Ruy (for a super shallow reason) and I was determined to get mad at him as soon as I wake up. BUT NOOOOOOO, Ruy hugs me as soon as I wake up…I was disarmed!! How am I supposed to get mad at him now???

10 Years Ago – I was in high school and I felt so mature.  The Spice Girls were the most famous human beings on earth =) and I was clad in neon greens and oranges. For one particular day (our school sports fest) I even sported green eyebrows. I cringe just thinking about it. I was not a very obedient person and kept on coloring my hair despite the fact that the nuns strictly prohibited it. I told them I didn’t dye my hair, it’s natural cause I have spanish blood. hahaha…

5 Years Ago – Ruy and I have been going out for a year at that time. That was probably the most tumultous period in our relationship. Ruy and I were both incredibly young and stubborn…it’s a wonder how we surpassed that stage. College was just a place to hangout and I didn’t take it too seriously…I regret this so much right now. What an idiot I was!

1 year ago – Ruy and I spent all our time, money and energy preparing for our church wedding. We were in Tagaytay a year ago to see what the temperature is in the area during this period. We were also preparing to attend Angie’s wedding. =)

Yesterday – was at work, my office mates threw me a surprise baby shower and I was extremely extremely touched. I am rarely surprised but they were able to pull it off without a hitch. My boss was even in on it, he called me to his office for a”meeting” which was apparently just a way to get me out of the office. =)

Today – I’m supposed to be getting married in church today. It feels so weird, I can’t believe we were willing to spend that much for a 4 hour affair…what were we thinking? We spent the day working instead, RUy dropped me off my office and then he drove off to his.  You won’t believe how happy I am about the fact that Ruy didn’t make a fuss about my going to work.

Tomorrow – I want to rest. I just want to sleep and blog. =) heheeh

I haven’t gone crazy blogging in a while and now that I started again I can’t seem to stop… Blogging is actually very cathartic and helps me organize my very messed up mind…get ready for more posts…

Last Friday Vicki, a friend of mine, claimed to have unlocked the mystery of making Livie (this is how they call me at work) do something. She said you have to either tell Livie she cannot do something or that she shouldn’t do it, then Olivia will do it.

It’s an interesting observation but I refuse to either confirm or deny the veracity of this statement. =)  I would like to say though that this is probably the root cause of Ruy’s severe headaches/migraines.  Ruy seems to have mastered the art of dealing with myself, he can make me do things and if you promise not to tell him  I can admit that I am sometimes afraid of him getting mad that’s why I keep quiet…SEE, I can be a nice wife. =)

Ruy cannot rest quietly despite this fact though, it seems that another one just like me is on her way. Andrea despite what all books say refuses to kick outward.  Oh don’t worry she’s fine and is moving normally based on the NSTs and Ultrasounds it’s just that she only wants to kick my internal  organs (her organs of choice seems to be my ribs and bladder). I have watched my mother through her pregnancy with my sister and I saw how at 7 months my sister would kick anything my mother would place on top of her tummy. Vicki also freaked me out when she was pregnant a couple of years ago. We were eating and chatting when suddenly I saw her tummy move in a very unnatural way (that was tyler moving inside the tummy). Unfortunately, Andrea refuses to do these things and would rather kick my bladder while I’m stuck in traffic inside the car and cannot pee anytime soon.

I was sharing this with Ruy over a meal today and I said “Andrea’s weird, she wouldn’t kick outwards unlike everyone else…” and suddenly Ruy and I were shocked by an obvious movement from my tummy. It was just too funny…then scary…she’s just as stubborn as mommy…oh no!!

I realized that as this is my blog I’m entitled to be as mushy as I want to be =). So forgive me for this little bit of mush. Those who easily feel nauseated or grossed out, you have been warned. ..

I was reading the valentine’s issue of one of the more famous magazines here in the Philippines when I came across this article which documents the transormations which relationships go through. First there’s the sexual attraction stage, then another stage and another stage (sorry I don’t remember what they’re all called). But basically it says that couples usually don’t feel the first 2 stages as much when they’ve been together for a long time. Here are the three stages:

First Stage

• Do you ever get tingly when you think about your sexy romps with him?
• Do you feel like wearing sexy clothes for him excited to see how he’ll react?
• Do you get goose bumps all over your body when he looks you up and down?

Second Stage

• Does everything feel like it would be more fun with him there?
• Do you find yourslef daydreaming about the cute things he does?
• Do you still get excited when you know you’re going to see him soon?

Third and Final Stage

• Do you call each other first with big news, whether it is good or bad?
• Do you feel calmer and happier than you’ve ever been with anyone else?
• Would you give up a night with the other girls to cheer him up after a very bad day?

I was surprised to see that I would answer yes to each and every question. Wow, is this love? (hehehe) . Well RUy and I haven’t been together that long, we’ve only been together for 6 years so that’s not really saying a lot. BUT BUT BUT, our entire relationship has lasted longer than both of Britney Spears’ marriages or even all of J-Lo’s marriages put together. Isn’t that great?!! =)  I guess this means that we deserve a little pat in the back for choosing to stay together all these years. We shouldn’t be so smug about it though, we know we have such a long way to go and I bet it would get even more challenging once Andrea joins the picture.

1. Don’t argue with me or leave me when I start demanding for good service in shops or restaurant
2. Tell me about your challenges at work, those are my puzzles and I like dissecting and pondering about them
3. Be patient with all my questions, I have really stupid ones and really deep ones. Answer each appropriately
4. Brush, I like kissing people whose breath smells like mint.
5. Experience the ecstasy of desserts with me
6. Be patient with my ramblings…
7. Listen to my ramblings…REALLY listen
8. But now how to make me shut up!
9. Understand my nervous laughter, I do this when I’m drowning with work and I don’t know where to start
10. Be patient with my extremely detailed stories…
11. Don’t give me sorry gifts when we’re fighting, argue with me until I see your point or you see mine.
12. Don’t just agree with me for the sake of peace and quiet, I prefer to settle things by coming into an agreement.
13. Love my grandmother =)
14. Introduce me to great books, songs, movies and food…
15. Be willing to try things I’m introducing you to.
16. Know that when I’m pissed hugging me helps…A LOT.
17. Know that I need my me time which I want to spend alone or with people I choose to spend it with…you can have your time too.
18.  Be patient about the fact that I barely send SMS messages when I’m at work…
19. Know that when I’m at work, my heart and soul are working…but when I’m home they’re yours…
20. Be willing to have breakfast with me all day long…

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVERYONE!! =)

I used to love sending and of course receiving cards. I think it takes a certain amount of skill in order to match the appropriate card to the appropriate person to the appropriate occassion. I used to have a collection of greeting cards ready in a box under my bed so that I will never run out if ever I need to send them to people. The problem is buying all those greeting cards are so FREAKING EXPENSIVE, plus who really has the time to sit down, write, buy a stamp and send all of those through snail mail? Thank goodness for the internet.

I found this site which offers witty and free funny eCards exactly the way I like them.  What I like most about this site or specifically the cards found on this site is the fact that they are witty, funny, risque and animated…hey wait a minute am I describing myself or the cards? =)  Anyway it’s so much more convenient going to this site and sending to each and every one of your friends or lover(or lovers depending on how faithful you are) right now. You don’t even have to wait for their actual birthdays cause it has this awesome feature which allows you to send the greeting cards when you have the time and the computer will send it during the appropriate date. Now you have no excuse for ever forgetting a birthday…how about that?

Subscribing to the site for a year would cost around 13 dollars BUT if you’re not sure yet if you’re willing to shell out that amount of money for membership (although I think it would be insane not to want it) you can opt to have a trial membership for one whole month first…I think that’s a waste of time though cause after that month you’ll end up subscribing anyway…

www.counttrackula.com/tracker/images/3497/17204.gif

“I’m sick of looking this way”…the statement. The statement which started a long discussion last night. It’s just hard for me having to go through all of these physical changes I have no control over. I think a lot of people go into “motherhood”  without thinking about the emotional challenges.  Actually, come to think of it, maybe other people don’t have these issues. Maybe I just think too much, maybe I’m just being selfish and self centered.  I just find it extremely weird looking at myself right now. I feel like a stranger to my own body. I feel  like it’s my head attached to someone else, like frankenstein or a zombie. My movements are foreign, my shoe size is different, my waist has disappeard, my pits and nips are of a different color and I can’t see my lower body.  Whose body is this?

I guess the most frustrating things for me are the things I cannot do now. Like cleaning my belly button (because I can’t see them properly), comfortably wearing pants and underwear (it takes so much effort now and that’s strange for someone who used to be very agile and flexible), driving, etc.

I know there’s a reason for these changes and that these are the necessary evils of pregnancy but I just like voicing out my thoughts about it every once in a while. The problem last night was that Ruy was probably sick of hearing my voice and told me that I shouldn’t be complaining because it’s for Andrea and that this is the essence of being a woman. I was shocked…really? I don’t agree…I know of several great women without children. I know of several mothers whom I wouldn’t describe as the embodiment of being a woman. 

I don’t think being a woman is functional,  HAVE A CHILD = BE A WOMAN. I agree that it’s one aspect of being a woman but it’s not the definitive definition of being a woman. The problem is I couldn’t argue this point well for the simple reason that I couldn’t give a different answer. I don’t know what the essence of being a woman is. I asked him though “If being a mother is the essence of being a woman, what then is the essence of being a man? Getting a woman pregnant?” 

I slept last night irritated and annoyed at the entire conversation. I guess it’s expected that Ruy wouldn’t understand the thoughts and emotions that a hormonal pregnant woman is going through.  How could a man understand what it feels like? And how could he when all the pregnant women he knows probably gushes about how good it feels to be pregnant and that pregnancy is the most beautiful thing on earth.  I love my baby and I’d definitely go through the entire process again for her BUT if there’s an easier way in the future I’d definitely take that.

(p.s. I apologize for whining non stop. I’m in a funky mood. Know that I realize how lucky I am because my pregnancy is relatively easier than most people I know)

So many people have left comments and I’ve been a bad blogger and haven’t acknowledged these comments so here’s one post attempting to answer everyone who has posted recently:

 – MARJ: I can’t congratulate you enough for your great news. Anyway, I can’t stop laughing about your comment on men mistaking a cubic zirconia for a diamond. I’ve actually seen it happen …hahaha

– MEC: ahh… am sure, more annoying or not, he still loves you more –>this is exactly why I find it disturbing, he’s been so nice and so loving and I’ve been a bitch…haaay. Oh well, at least they say it takes a real man to handle a bitch.

– CHECHE: that’s so sweet!! Yup, she finally showed her face the thing is she only showed it once, the next couple of times we tried taking pictures of her face she already covered it with her hands and so we don’t have any other photos of her face =(

– TERESA: I might try that cabbage trick but it’s quite strange…it would probably feel really strange too

– GRACITA: How I got pregnant with PCOS? Well Ruy and I…mmm…hehehe I guess that’s not what you mean. I actually wasn’t intending on getting pregnant, I just went to both my OB and endocrinologist and they sorted out my hormonal problem.  Happy Anniversary by the way!

Today, I thought it would be appropriate to observe a moment of silence for the things which are no longer with me as soon as I got pregnant.

1. View of my legs when I look down

2. Waist line

3. Flexibility

4. White armpits

5. Nicely colored nips

6. Staying up all night partying or working

7. Alcohol (I miss you Vodka, I really do!)

8. Deep Sea Fishes like  Sea Bass, Tuna, Salmon, Gindara…I could go on but I might end up crying here

9. Wild, uninhibited…mmm…well you know what?

10. Driving (yeah I know I only stopped 2 weeks ago but I’ve been driving for more than half a decade…I really miss it)

11. Dancing, I’ve tried dancing but the sight of a pregnant me gyrating is just too disgusting and disturbing that I had to stop.

12. Lying on my stomach…

13. Getting massages while lying on my stomach

You are all deeply missed. Know that you will forever have a place in my heart and I will do everything in my power to have you all back…

Can I blame my being annoying on my pregnancy? Can I pin my bitchiness on hormones? Can I hide behind the halo of pregnancy and say “my baby made me do it?”…I’m sure I can but I wouldn’t. I’m really just an annoying person. Two prime examples last night…

 Ruy woke me up at 11:30pm to force me to eat(I haven’t eaten dinner) which I did as Ruy’s been ragging on my being “matigas ang ulo” so I’m trying to be a bit more….mmm…selective in my stubborness. After eating I got my cellphone and called an applicant in the US for her interview which lasted around 20-30 minutes. Ruy was flabbergasted that not only was I working at home but I was working at 12 midnight. Of course I told him “Don’t you appreciate the fact that I found a way to do my work at home instead of having to stay in the office till 12?” So we argued and we argued and it ended with me telling him “I can’t NOT do my job, this is part of my job and I have to do it.” I’m glad Ruy didn’t rub the fact that I was already hospitalized because of stress (which the doctors attributed to the stress at work) and that I should just shut up and follow him…

Next, after several minutes I was about to sleep and I said “Now it’s my turn to have a head ache” …I was probably mumbling because Ruy said “Now?” to which I bitchingly replied “No, 3 days ago”

Ruy was stunned speechless by my reply. He knows I’m a bitch but rarely is he the direct target of my sting…haaaay poor Ruy. He can’t get mad at me too much since I’m apparently in a “delicate” stage being pregnant and all. I personally think that delicate thing is bullshit, but hey if it serves me well then I’m all for it.

I just found out that my mother and sister are planning visiting Sydney during  the summer holiday. Yes yes I’m a bit jealous, after all it’s been a while since I last visited Sydney and I had a blast when I was there.

I can’t believe how friendly the people were there. It’s amazing how no one seems to get cross for whatever reason. I’ve never actually seen an angry Australian in my life…no wonder Steve Irwin (God bless his soul) was still in an incredibly good disposition despite being attacked by crocs all day…he’s just genetically predispositioned to be that way cause he’s Aussie…hehehe

Seriously though, I really enjoyed touring around the Opera House, the Ferry, the Ocean Park and Taronga Zoo but what I really really missed the most is the food. Ahhhh prawn cutlets with sweet and spicy sauce…can you say heavenly?

I wondered how much it would cost me to join them there so I searched around for the best Sydney hotels and I was glad to see a lot of them offering online reservations which would make it so convenient for me if ever I do decide to join them.

Ruy and I are happy to introduce you all to Andrea. =) *see, I told you she was going to be a girl!!*

I am addicted to beautiful women. It’s insane how I derive more pleasure from looking at good looking women compared to looking at good looking men. What other venue is there that tactfully pays homage to beautiful women other than Sports Illustrated. We all know what the most anticipated issue of Sports Illustrated is, why the swimsuit edition of course! This highly anticipated issue will be available just in time for Valentine’s Day…ahhh nothing like Heidi Klum, Marissa Miller, Maria Sharapova and Elle Mc Pherson to make me feel like the world is still good and that love is still all around.  Hahaha Seriously though, I know a lot of girls who go crazy when their boyfriends or husbands look at these magazines but I actually buy these for Ruy. I have no problem knowing that my man appreciates beauty, in fact I’d rather he did because that ultimately reflects back to me…hahaha. Anyway I’d definitely get him the 43^rd Edition of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

Now, if you are a man and would like to have the chance to look at these models without your wife or your girl friend seeing you then you’re in luck. SI Mobile (www.simobileswimsuit.com) is giving you a chance to download cell phone wall papers, video ringers, animated screensavers AND actual video clips. Now if that isn’t a dream come true for any hot blooded man I don’t know what is.