Another Long Day

Had a sort of rift with Ruy last night. Started at around10pm. We were talking about our living arrangements after the wedding. See, we’ve talked about this in the past through text, but I never thought of whatever we talked about as final. I always though stuff as serious as that deserved face to face conversations. With Ruy however, if something was discussed through SMS, then it’s set. This has caused several issues in the past…I was accused of changing things which were already set when in reality in my head nothing is final until we sit down and talk about it.

What really threw me off was when Ruy started asking if I was sure about getting married. I was trying to rationalize staying in my lola’s place cause 1. It’s nearer, 2. Saves gas, 3. Saves travel time, 4. Saves me from fatigue. Take today for example. I got to work before 7am. I had to leave my lola’s house at 6:30…I’ll be going home at around 8 and I’ll probably reach my lola’s house a little before 9. If I always stayed in Ruy’s house then I’d have to wake up at least  30 minutes to 1 hour earlier and go home 30 minutes to 1 hour later. I know it seems like a small thing, but in my current condition being this tired and all…I want to take all the rest I could take.

It had nothing to do with the choice to get married or not, it’s all about practicality and reality. Another thing is there are always people picking me up and driving me to work when I’m in my lola’s house. I really appreciate (and need) this right now. I don’t expect Ruy to do this…no it’s not because he’s unwilling but his job is at the opposite side of the world.

The fight came to a halting stop at around 12 midnight when i raised the white flag. My tummy was hurting so bad I was crying, no it wasn’t LBM or constipation or anything obvious like that. It was just hurting so bad.

When things like that happen I don’t know what to do. It’s too late to call a doctor, telling my grandmother or calling my mother would just cause more panic than it’s worth. It’s not like anyone can do anything about it anyway, it just sucks having to go through it alone.

So I was finally able to sleep at around 2:30am. The pain was not yet gone then but it became tolerable. I also forced myself to sleep cause I was supposed to wake up at 4:30am…of course I wasn’t able to. I ended up waking up at around 5:30…gulping down my cereals taking a quick bath and speeding off to work.

It’s going to be another long day. I’ll be in the office for around 13hours today…I’m sick!