December 18, 2005

I took a test which will tell you about your personality type. It was eerily accurate! Here is the result.

TYPE 2: HELPER
World View: People depend on my help. I am needed.
Basic Desire: to be loved
Basic Fear: of being unloved

Healthy loop controlled by Basic Desire:

Need to be loved -> help others -> loved -> Need to be loved
In the healthy state, the need to be loved induces Type Twos to help others which causes them to be loved. When Twos feel loved, the need is satisfied and a balance is reached.

In the average state, when Twos’ are not helping others and are not loved, the need to be loved increases, which helps Twos to again reach out and help others. Thus the balancing loop can help Twos to recover.

Unhealthy loop controlled by Basic Fear:

Fear of being unloved -> resent and manipulate others -> loved -> Fear of being unloved
In the unhealthy state, the basic fear of being unloved can cause Type Twos to feel resentful and try to manipulate others into loving them. This can cause people to love them even less, which further increases Twos’ basic fear. The cycle continues to build up.

Insight:

We can see from the diagram that a way to help break the control of the basic fear is to weaken the unhealthy loop. Twos can refrain from manipulating others but start to genuinely help others. This will cause Twos to be loved, and thus reduce the fear of being unloved.

The Helper (the Two)
Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people’s needs.

How to Get Along with Me

Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
Share fun times with me.
Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
Let me know that I am important and special to you.
Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
In Intimate Relationships

Reassure me that I am intersting to you.
Reassure me often that you love me.
Tell me I’m attractive and that you’re glad to be seen with me.
What I Like About Being a Two

being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
being generous, caring, and warm
being sensitive to and perceptive about others’ feelings
being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor
What’s Hard About Being a Two

not being able to say no
having low self-esteem
feeling drained from overdoing for others
not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
being upset that others don’t tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings
Twos as Children Often

are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
are outwardly compliant
are popular or try to be popular with other children
act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Twos), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Twos)
Twos as Parents

are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren’t)
are often playful with their children
wonder: “Am I doing it right?” “Am I giving enough?” “Have I caused irreparable damage?”
can become fiercely protective