October 9, 2005

I saw this picture of Caleruega and I was just overwhelmed. It’s just so beautiful, it totally matches my theme.

People have been asking me how we ended up with this church. Truth of the matter is this church doesn’t reflect my personality at all. I wanted a melancholic look for my wedding, I wanted it vintage-y and romantic. Ruy wanted it happy. I told him “I don’t do happy” .

When Ruy first showed me this church I had so much against it. First, it was too happy. It was so cheerful I couldn’t stand it at first. I couldn’t deal with all those colors. I found it too gaudy actually. The fact that it was out of town and would cost an arm and a leg was also an important consideration. Third contention was that my lola would have a difficult time climbing it as it’s too steep. And anybody who knows me knows that you don’t mess with my lola. If she can’t go then I won’t.

Needless to say the first trip ended with Ruy so disappointed and I dissatisfied. We eventually agreed to just look around and find another church we both liked. I don’t know exactly how we ended back in Calaruega. Maybe it was because we couldn’t find another church. Maybe it was because Ruy really loved that place. I ended up saying okay.

We went back up there with a very smug Ruy. “What made you change your mind?”, “What made you realize I was right?”…hahaha.

The church has really grown on me. And Ruy was right the distance made it all the more special. Only people who really cared enough about us would sacrifice their time, money and gasoline to go all the way to Calaruega.

Ruy and I have been fighting more since the Discovery Weekend we attended together last July. Some people might interpret this as the failure of the discovery weekend, a waste of the 5k we spent on it. I think otherwise.

We’ve been together for more or less 5 years. Throughout this time we haven’t perfected the art of fighting. We rarely fought, I would just keep quiet, be a bitch and say “Nothing” when he asks me what’s wrong. Ruy on the other hand, keeps it all bottled up until he bursts once or twice a year. Totally unhealthy.

It was only after the discovery weekend that I began to feel comfortable expressing my anger, sadness, disappointment. Mind you I still suck at it, but at least I’m doing it. Ruy has been a bit more vocal about it as well. For the past months we’ve been fighting every time we’re together. Last week we did, but we were able to resolve it immediately before parting ways.

Yesterday, he expressed irritation after which I expressed irritation, but no fighting. I think we’re getting better at it!

I told him 3 weeks ago that I find the fighting refreshing, I know that I can get mad, and he can get mad as well without us feeling the need to break up. Breaking up has never been an option.Someone once told me that it’s not how many times you fight that’s important, it’s how many times you make up (and make-out) that defines the status of your relationship. I think I agree